Painful.. But is there hope? [thnx for your time] :)

[lostwithlove]

I have a best friend, That's a girl I'm a guy.

I am Crazy about her, I mean Crazy!.. there's nothing I wouldn't do for her. One small problem.. she has a boyfriend, whom I don't talk to anymore because of the way .. he is basically.

 

I really really really like this girl, She comes over my house all the time, we do everything together, recently we were on a trip with my school, and on the coach she was resting her head on my chest to sleep and stroking my hand, with her legz over mine.

 

I don't know what's going through my head, I just really want her to be interested in me.. She's even coming over tomoro just to hang out.

 

I probably shouldn't let my feelings get in the way of such an amazing friendship.

 

I'm scared if she found out how I feel she'd stop being so close with me.

 

But she really is such an understanding person, I tell her EVERYTHING, and could tell her anything.

 

and it works both ways, she would tell me anything too.

 

Well her boyfriend is leaving school this year, and it's gona be rough on her and i don't know if she'll continue seeing him, it has been over a year with him.. very bumpy.

 

Any input is really appreciated, even if it's only your opinion.

and feel free to ask Any questions, I dunno if i've maybe been a bit vague.

 

Thanx!!

[ecg1228]

You never know... It sounds like an amazing friendship you two have. Friendship is a great foundation for the beginnings of a relationship. I say keep being the way you are and see where it goes. She will just grow more and more fond of you. Boyfriends can come and go, but you will be always be there and - maybe it can start to develop gradually?

 

Is she happy with her boyfriend? You said you didn't like the way he is and that their relationship is bumpy..

[sidehop]

I've personally been there and honestly told her how I felt about if she wasn't dating anyone that she's my type of girl. It never happened not because of me but her personal life went downhill. (long story)

 

It's one of those gray area...who knows how she's feeling...she might just like you more then as best friend...does she talk about her b/f a lot in a negative way? Do you two spend so much time you don't see how she's dating him?

 

I wouldn't honestly tell her how you feel right now...just because she's involved and may get her confused. At the same time I don't see a harm in complimenting her and how she makes you feel. It doesn't have to be "I wish you were my g/f" but something like "I wish there were more girls like you..."

 

But I think you get the idea...good luck man

[lostwithlove]

It is a bumpy relationship they have, but she does say she loves him.

 

She told me she can't picture life without him, but she does realize he's not good for her, He lies constantly about where he's been etc.

 

She always turns to me though, like the other night they argued and she phoned me in tears and I would calm her down.

 

it is the best friendship i've ever had, only because she's such an extraordinary girl.

 

She really does bring out the best in me, my family say that she must be interested in me, when like tomoro she's not telling her boyfriend she's staying off school so she can come round here.

 

But then again, if she like.. tells me her relationship problems n stuff does that not mean that i'm like a perosn to confide in and just a good friend?

 

We always have such a good time in eachothers company.. it hurts how I can't tell her incase she thinks differently of me.

 

She promised me she'd never leave, she'd always be friends with me and she constantly tells me what a great friend i am and how much she 'loves me'.. I tell her the same back.. but she doesn't know the extent of how much i do love her..

[lostwithlove]

Thanks sidehop,

 

i'm cautious though, she's my one best friend i have left.. i couldn't face losing her..

 

does she talk about her b/f a lot in a negative way? Do you two spend so much time you don't see how she's dating him?

 

yes and no lol depending on her mood with him she'll tlk about him differently.. the other nite she said

'oh he foned n i can't be bothered going out for like an hour.. oh yeh i'll see you tomoro' lol

 

I really don't know what she sees in him, she says when she's with him she's so happy, but without him she remembers the bad times..

 

It tears me apart to see how he gets her.. she can't tell him she's like best friends with me because he doesn't like me and vice versa. He had suspicions about how i felt towards her and our relationship went from bad to worse.. now we don't talk and he often gets really jealous and upset when he hears she's been down my house etc.

[Süsser Tod]

Welcome to the friends zone, don't get your hopes high, regardless of what people say, there is no way out of that zone. Only very few make it to the boyfriend zone, but it is the exception that confirms the rule.

 

Been there. Had this awesome friend during highschool. Everyone thought we were a couple, we spent most of the day together and even when we were at our respectives houses, we would spend tons of time on messenger or the phone!

 

What happened? Nothing, nothing at all. She never looked me like a BF, only as her best friend. And truth to be told, over the time I lost interest on her as a GF.

 

Yes, hormones were present, and I liked her fisicaly. But my mind and my heart knew that I dind't wante her to be my GF.

 

But that took a LONG time, think like a couple of years, and before that there was a lot of pain when I knew she was dating other guys...

 

 

So get ready for the pain, or face the situation, you won't be more than her friend and stop suffering about her.

[lostwithlove]

I'm going through the pain.. and holding on to hope.. that's alla got.

 

thnx for sharing

[lostwithlove]

Is there really hope though..?

[neewollah]

Not really, make up your mind to the idea that she will only be your friend, and move on. Don't waste your time holding on to the hope, get out there and find someone else, don't keep yourself from finding someone else.

[sidehop]

susser is right...if she's calling you when she has problems, you're basically the cry on the shoulder figure...but it doesn't necessarily mean it's bad. But I'm sure you'll be able to find other women who can treat you as more then friends...

 

For now focus on yourself and be there for her when she's wanting help. But also it's ok to say NO if you're feeling uneasy or just don't have the time. If you two are going to be friends then she needs to respect you as more then just someone who she can talk to...

[darkblue]

I'm in the same kinda situation, There is nothing really you can do, unless you are willing to lose such a good friendship on the off-chance that she feels the same?

 

When she's not going out with this guy, you'll have a clearer idea on what she feels, but you can't act on anything just now..

 

I know it's hard and it hurts, but a friendship can be more than a relationship..

 

Good Luck

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

hey, iam in the same situation too she told me i like u as a friend.. i really want her but i the hope i see is too small.... that sucks