Struggling to approach women and get quality date and really want to get past th

[Vix eyestyn]

I am a 26 year old male in south africa, I really feel behind in life due to that I have never a serious relationship before, and it to me seems like a tough thing to navigate a love relationship, hence I really want a good love life and a partner to share the life  with, as I come from a broken family background I had no male guidance on how I should do this things, so I think it's time I change that perception of I am not good enough for someone hence please advise me on how to change my current situation. 

[Batya33]

Do  you have friends? Good friends? Are you good enough for them? Same skills.  What do you do to meet people in your age range who are single or can introduce you to suitable single women? Do you keep reasonably healthy and fit? It's hard to come from a broken family and I promise you you don't need to focus on "male" advice.  Do you have platonic women friends? Why do you think marriage or a long term partner is a good life for you? Specifically? 

[Vix eyestyn]

Nah, I dnt hav, I guess it all due to my social skill

[Coily]

Sounds like you are having a rough go of it. Being in South Africa, probably has a lot of unique problems that we probably won't understand, so gains of salt.

I'm guessing you haven't had uncles or grand fathers to look to for guidance? Where you work or live are there older married men who could mentor you, not just in finding a woman, but life in general? Are you religious or open, if so could you look into joining one near you that has a men's group?

What do you do to get out socially? Lacking friends, you need to look at expanding your social opportunities, like sporting events, or camping/bush craft groups? Things that will have men and women involved. It's going to be uncomfortable and awkward initially, but that is often the first step towards getting out and chatting up women.

On the topic of women, I suggest you start getting comfortable talking with them. you could look into those random chat apps, having a light conversation with a cashier etc. Cultivating how to talk to women you aren't interested in romantically, so when you start meeting women you want to date, it's not as intimidating.

 

[smackie9]

You have social anxiety and it's crippling you. You need behavioral therapy. Please look into finding a certified therapist/ get a referral from your doctor. You are 26 with no friends, no social life, can't have relationships. That's pretty serious stuff, so to have a normal happy life, you should seek out a professional. 

[ShySoul]

When I was around your age I had never had a serious relationship. I wasn't social and had all of two people I thought of us a friend. My family background was a bit of a mess. And my examples of male guidance weren't exactly the best role models. I could maybe learn a few good things if I looked hard enough, but generally they taught me what not to do. I too struggled with feeling worthy at times.

What helped me was realizing I didn't a need a role model or guidance. I didn't need therapy or a professional to help me. I didn't even need a romantic relationship. I needed to be me. Everything I needed was within me and had been within me all along. Just as it is within you. I stopped thinking I had to be a certain way or have these experiences that I saw others having. I focused on being who I was and doing what I enjoyed. I stuck to being my real authentic self. I embraced my natural skills and found happiness in living my life as I wanted to, on my own. This caused me to have more confidence in myself as I was doing things that made me feel good about myself and my life. I was focused on being positive and not dwelling on all the negative.

Having that confidence lead me speaking out more on the things I believed in. It lead me to helping others. And it lead to multiple women noticing me. They became interested in me for the person I was. And I didn't get there by following anyone's example. All I needed to do was fully embrace being me and let my light shine. 

To often people get so focused on needing to fix themselves or trying to act the way they are supposed to act. Don't do that. You aren't broke and don't need to be fixed. You are you, the person who have always been and are suppose to be. So be proud of that. Be proud of who you are. Life your life the way you want to, the way that makes you happy. Once you do, the rest will take care of itself.

[TeeDee]

You have to walk before you can run.  Socializing is an art.  You need to learn to make small talk in all walks of life.  Develop friendships.  Then you can branch out to getting a GF. 

In the short term, join a group or organization that does something you enjoy or support.  Surrounding yourself with like minded people will be a great ice breaker.