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Am I looking into this too deeply or are my feelings valid? ( please be brutally honest)

A couple of months ago me and my then boyfriend found out I was pregnant. I desperately wanted to keep it, however he said he’d leave me and have nothing to do with the child if I did.. so I made the decision to get an abortion.

A few weeks after the abortion him and I broke up. He started talking to other women soon after, while still sleeping with me from time to time. While sleeping round his, one night I went through his phone. I found out he was talking to a pregnant women he met online. She was showing him pictures of her ultrasound and potential names she was going to call her child (amongst arranging to meet up and sexually explicit conversations)

This crushed me, because not even a month ago he told me if I didn’t get an abortion he’d leave me.. but here he is talking to a women who gets to keep hers. He could of picked any other women to have a one night stand with.. but he picked a pregnant women after everything that had just happened.

I confronted him about this and he couldn’t see why I was upset. He said there was no link between these two things and I was just traumatised. He said he’d understand my pain if he was trying to be the child’s father, but in his words ‘ she was just a distraction’ and only wanted to sleep with her, nothing more.

Am I overthinking this? Is it stupid of me to be linking the two things together?

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19 minutes ago, LilyMinks_x said:

A couple of months ago me and my then boyfriend found out I was pregnant. I desperately wanted to keep it, however he said he’d leave me and have nothing to do with the child if I did.. so I made the decision to get an abortion.

Sorry this happened. How long were you together? How old is he? Do you live with family or have supportive friends and family nearby? 

Please follow up on your physical and mental health and please ask for a referral to a qualified therapist from your healthcare provider. 

Please delete and block this vile subhuman creature from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Permanently. Please reach out for support for all you have been through. 

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We were together for 3 years, he was 19 and I was 18. I don’t have contact with him anymore. It took me some time due to me having a trauma bond with him but it’s finally over. He’s blocked on everything. 
Thank you for caring, I am considering therapy♥️

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He gets you pregnant then forces you into an abortion you didn't want by threatening to leave you alone to support the child he helped create if you don't get one. While you are still recovering from the experience, he breaks up with you and starts seeing other people. But he still wants to keep you around to sleep with. He then chooses the one kind of person to be with that would be most hurtful for you. Once confronted with it, he deflects and tries to put the blame on you.

You're not stupid, he is. Nothng about this refects well on him. You are far better off without him in your life and good for you for removing him. Focus on taking care of yourself for now. Should you find yourself with someone down the road, remember that you deserve someone who wll always treat you with class and respect. Those are two words he doesn't seem to know the meaning of.

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He is scum, through and through. 

He would have had zero responsibility towards the child of this pregnant woman, and all the responsibility towards his own child with you. What does that tell you about him? He didn't care that she was pregnant because he had no intention of being in the kid's life.  With you, well, he would have been forced to grow up and take accountability for himself and for the baby. 

He is not a decent person. It is good that he is gone. I would suggest you stay away from dating for a while so you can work on your self-worth so you weed out guys like him. 

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From what its worth I dont think he cares she has a baby coming, he just wants sex. Just as he just wanted sex with you and not to be with you or have a family. And for as much as it was your choice to keep it or not, I think you made the right decision. You are 18 and dont think bringing baby to a world and being a single mom at that age is a good decision for both you and a baby. 

I think therapy is a good choice. And good you took care of him not to be in your life anymore.

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