Dont know how to socialise

[Lemonsocks]

Im 21, architecture student. I used to have many friends. Now i have this feeling im starting to become an introvert yet i feel sad not to have friends around ( like true friends) Everyone has their own circle and im scared to try to blend in coz i dont wanna feel left out ( happend before but my family moved to another area). I have ni energy to reach out or socialse with friends, i either wanna go home or zone out while being with friends. My mum is strict so i cant do much things like every other friendship does like camping, travelling etc. I feel like a true friend does not exist. And i think the reason my friend doesnt reach out for me is because i never do that. 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Lemonsocks said:

Im 21, architecture student. I used to have many friends.. My mum is strict so i cant do much things like every other friendship does like camping, travelling etc

Sorry this is happening. You don't have to be extroverted to have friends. 

Please see what types of groups, clubs, extra classes, sports and other social activities are available through your university. 

This way you can see people regularly without pressure. You could just sign up for and enroll in things you enjoy and meet like minded people and eventually make some friends because you'll see them regularly and have something in common. 

[Capricorn3]

4 hours ago, Lemonsocks said:

I have no energy to reach out or socialse with friends, i either wanna go home or zone out while being with friends.

^ In that case it's going to be very difficult to form any kind of friendship as it will appear to them that you're not interested in them and don't care about them, so they in turn, will eventually back off from you.  You've got to put in the effort to keep a friend.

Other than that, Wiseman has some excellent advice above. Please give it some thought.

[ShySoul]

As an extreme introvert, I understand those feelings. Even if you enjoy time alone and feel your energy drained by socializing, you still have times when you want someone around who really gets you. We all need to feel understood and loved. I also think that true friends exist, but they are rarer then most people make out. 

First thing to do is to not blame yourself. I've seen people who do this, who attack themselves for being introverted or wonder why they can't be more sociable like "everyone" else. That usually just creates a cycle of feeling bad and leads them to be worse off. You are who you are, and should be proud of that. It may sound cliche, but there is only one you and you should fully embrace it. 

Second, ironically, the best way to make friends is to not try to make friends. Instead focus on you. What is it that you enjoy doing? What brings you the most happiness? Do it. You may meet friends through some group that does that. Even if you don't, you'll just be happy doing it on your own. And if you don't have the energy to go out sometimes, there's nothing wrong with that either. There's plenty of online communites for everything from gaming to crafting. You can develop deep friendships from that. My brother met his wife playing RPGs online. I meet my best friend and roommate online. Every person is different, and every friendship is different. Not every friendship has to feature going out all the time. The key is to do what makes you happy and makes you feel positive. From there friendships will come when the time is right and it's with the right person.

[catfeeder]

4 hours ago, Lemonsocks said:

Everyone has their own circle and im scared to try to blend in coz i dont wanna feel left out

Understandable, it's not a great idea to target popular groups to try to fit in. It's not that they can't be friendly, but they already have enough friends, so they won't be as invested in forming the kind of friendship you want and deserve.

Great advice above about pursuing interests rather than people, because people tend to feel most comfortable when they can bond with one another over an interest that's shared. It happens organically over time with shared projects or discussions.

One more thing to consider would be to look around in your classes, campus or groups, and see whether you can identify anyone there who possibly seems lonely. You might ask to join that person for a moment and whether you can ask them some questions about their school life. Where they purchase their books, where they find the easiest parking for certain buildings, whether they've used any study groups, whether they've made any good friends there and what they might suggest you do to meet new friends there. See how receptive each person is to you. If someone is cold, consider them a loner, and no big deal. But if they are warm and helpful? Offer your phone number and ask to treat them for a coffee or a drink sometime.

[Batya33]

When I was a young teenager I was kind of awkward and felt self conscious about my looks.  What helped me meet people and get out of my shell more was dancing -I went to singles events and events sponsored by my place of worship where we all danced like crazy - back then -disco, rap, new wave, punk and some slow dances of course. It was really fun and carefree and then we'd all hang out and chat before getting on the dance floor again!

[ShySoul]

8 hours ago, Lemonsocks said:

i either wanna go home or zone out while being with friends.

Find people of a similar mindset, people who are fine hanging in and watching a movie or playing a game.. You don't have to go out to have fun with friends. The fun comes from being around people who get you and like the same things as you. 

I'll also recommend volunteering for something you truely care about. Just the act of giving for a cause will make you feel better and you can probably meet good people while you are at it.

And even though it's not the same thing, a pet can do wonders for an introverts mood. They'll bond with you, love you, and don't mind if you just want to zone out with them in front of the TV.