Mum is having affair

[Yoyo]

My mum is having an affair with a married man and she doesn’t know I know. She told me he was a friend but I saw them snogging. I asked her if he was married hoping he’d say he was getter a divorce but he is still in a relationship. What’s even sadder is his son was in the navy, got injured and is now a paraplegic. I can’t imagine leaving my paraplegic son to go have an affair. It is my birthday today and my mum has told me the guy and another friend is coming over and they are all going to a festival so I will be alone on my birthday. My mum and I have a bad relationship, my childhood was abuse and she turned a blind eye. She judges my appearance and looks at me like I’m disgusting. I’ve been crying all morning, I have friends but they are always busy. I don’t really speak to my dad coz he was violent to me. I hate my job and I am too poor to move out. I have tried killing myself 3 times, my Nan and dog died recently and I’m severely depressed. 

[Wiseman2]

25 minutes ago, Yoyo said:

. She told me he was a friend but I saw them snogging. . It is my birthday today and my mum has told me the guy and another friend is coming over and they are all going to a festival so I will be alone on my birthday. . I have tried killing myself 3 times,  I’m severely depressed. 

Very sorry this is happening. Happy birthday.  Please reach out to a mental health hotline. Someone will listen to you, support you and help find you local care and resources for your situation. If home and family are troubling there are people who can help. 

https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/where-to-get-urgent-help-for-mental-health/

[Batya33]

Please call the mental health hotline he suggested above.  Take care.

[ShySoul]

Sorry you've had to experience all this. Please remember that the choices of your parents are not a reflection of you. As much as we might want an ideal relationship with our parents, they are people and come with flaws. Your parents clearly have a lot of flaws. It's okay to be sad and hurt, but try not to let it damage the life you have. You can be better then them. Work on yourself. Do something you love to celebrate your birthday, you don't have to depend on others. I've spent several birthdays/holidays alone and while it hurt some, I also went ahead with what I wanted to do, telling myself they were the ones missing out. Try to find an alternative living arrangement to escape the negative enviroment. Maybe you can split the cost of a place with one or more of those friends? Either way, find something postive to surround yourself with.

Hope things improve. Happy birthday.

[Batya33]

8 hours ago, ShySoul said:

Sorry you've had to experience all this. Please remember that the choices of your parents are not a reflection of you. As much as we might want an ideal relationship with our parents, they are people and come with flaws. Your parents clearly have a lot of flaws. It's okay to be sad and hurt, but try not to let it damage the life you have. You can be better then them. Work on yourself. Do something you love to celebrate your birthday, you don't have to depend on others. I've spent several birthdays/holidays alone and while it hurt some, I also went ahead with what I wanted to do, telling myself they were the ones missing out. Try to find an alternative living arrangement to escape the negative enviroment. Maybe you can split the cost of a place with one or more of those friends? Either way, find something postive to surround yourself with.

Hope things improve. Happy birthday.

I would reflect on this in the future.  First I would call a mental health hotline ASAP and take care of yourself.

[Coily]

On 1/28/2024 at 5:28 AM, Yoyo said:

My mum is having an affair with a married man and she doesn’t know I know. She told me he was a friend but I saw them snogging. I asked her if he was married hoping he’d say he was getter a divorce but he is still in a relationship. What’s even sadder is his son was in the navy, got injured and is now a paraplegic. I can’t imagine leaving my paraplegic son to go have an affair. It is my birthday today and my mum has told me the guy and another friend is coming over and they are all going to a festival so I will be alone on my birthday. My mum and I have a bad relationship, my childhood was abuse and she turned a blind eye. She judges my appearance and looks at me like I’m disgusting. I’ve been crying all morning, I have friends but they are always busy. I don’t really speak to my dad coz he was violent to me. I hate my job and I am too poor to move out. I have tried killing myself 3 times, my Nan and dog died recently and I’m severely depressed. 

Sorry that you are going through all of this.  I would encourage you to follow Shy's advice. Also if you're still out there, feel free to comment here. Every little bit helps.

 

[ShySoul]

1 hour ago, Coily said:

Also if you're still out there, feel free to comment here. Every little bit helps.

Yes, please let us know how you are doing and that you are safe. Just having a place to let it all out can be helpful. It can also be reassuring to know that there are people out there who care and that you actually are not alone in your feelings. I've wrestled with depressing thoughts and feelings often, and the thing that's helped me the most is just having a sympathetic and understanding friend to listen. 

Wishing you well and that the days get brighter.