Viper666 Posted January 20 Share Posted January 20 What would you do? Long story short. Move in with husband and his family. Naive. Didn't know how controlling they were going to get. Get pregnant early on in the relationship. My father promises to sell his vintage car if we ever need it. Later renegs it. Won't explain why. Gaslights me. After the baby is born. Get Post natal depression. Husband's parents kick us out. Husband loses his job xand I couldn't get work. My parents go overseas for months. My parents eventually get back. My in laws use the legal system against me and file for custody of my daughter. Husband begs me back. Many empty promises of getting custody of my daughter back. Move in with him (without in laws) Many empty promises of getting our daughter back. Marriage becomes financially, emotionally and physically abusive. Move back in with my parents and baby. I feel like such a fool. But don't get any answers as to why my father screwed us over. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 20 Share Posted January 20 2 minutes ago, Viper666 said: . My in laws use the legal system against me and file for custody of my daughter. . Move back in with my parents and baby Sorry this happened. Where are you living now? Where you homeless when you lost custody? Hopefully you are getting help from friends, family social services and other resources to build a secure life for you and your child. Are you legally divorced yet? Your father's car has nothing to do with this. Link to comment
Andrina Posted January 20 Share Posted January 20 Well, the best thing is that you have your child again. It's not clear whether or not your husband is under your parents roof with you or not. You will have to be your own savior now. It'll be a long road ahead for you to get financially stability of your own accord, since it's hard to work and have a young child, because child care is expensive. You will have to figure that out. Is your mother willing to watch the child while you work? Can you work at least part time if full time is not feasible, say, an 8 p.m. to midnight job so that as your child is falling asleep and your parents are home, that you get some hours in without too much hands-on babysitting by your parents? Can you look into agencies that help low-income single parents if your husband and you are separated? Have you taken steps to have your husband charged with battery? If he abuses you, he could do the same to your child. I hope you taken legal steps to gain full custody and that if he is granted visitation, that it be observed time according to court rules. 2 Link to comment
Viper666 Posted January 21 Author Share Posted January 21 9 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Sorry this happened. Where are you living now? Where you homeless when you lost custody? Hopefully you are getting help from friends, family social services and other resources to build a secure life for you and your child. Are you legally divorced yet? Your father's car has nothing to do with this. His car has everything to do with it. And I'd be paying off a mortgage on the place my in laws had for us. Instead of living with my family Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 3 hours ago, Viper666 said: His car has everything to do with it. And I'd be paying off a mortgage on the place my in laws had for us. Instead of living with my family What? I am not sure I follow. You are mad you didn't get his car, yet you are living under his roof again? Do you pay rent to your parents? Link to comment
catfeeder Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 I'm not clear about the outcome here. Do you have custody today, or not? Visitation or not? If you are seeking custody, you'll need to obtain legal services and build a case. One aspect of your case that would NOT serve you to include would be some pipe dream your father dangled in front of you. You don't have legal standing to hold him accountable for any proceeds from a car unless you can reasonably prove that a contract was made between the two of you, and that he did sell the car. And this would be your burden to prove, as opposed to just claiming that he said it, to which he could simply respond that he did not say it... So I'd make this about your current housing and the responsible conditions under which you can guarantee that you can raise your child in answer to whatever legal barriers you've been presented against doing so. My heart goes out to you. Link to comment
Viper666 Posted January 23 Author Share Posted January 23 19 hours ago, catfeeder said: I'm not clear about the outcome here. Do you have custody today, or not? Visitation or not? If you are seeking custody, you'll need to obtain legal services and build a case. One aspect of your case that would NOT serve you to include would be some pipe dream your father dangled in front of you. You don't have legal standing to hold him accountable for any proceeds from a car unless you can reasonably prove that a contract was made between the two of you, and that he did sell the car. And this would be your burden to prove, as opposed to just claiming that he said it, to which he could simply respond that he did not say it... So I'd make this about your current housing and the responsible conditions under which you can guarantee that you can raise your child in answer to whatever legal barriers you've been presented against doing so. My heart goes out to you. I have custody of my son but not my daughter. So what do I do about my family? My sister and mother don't give me answers as to why my father screw us over. He was a narcissist and a hypocrite. I never got an apology or answers. My sister was always the golden child. My mother doesn't give me answers. Yet my parents expect me to look after them when they're elderly. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 So where is your daughter now? What you need to do is speak to a lawyer. We can't offer you the kind of advice you need here. Link to comment
Viper666 Posted January 23 Author Share Posted January 23 4 minutes ago, MissCanuck said: So where is your daughter now? What you need to do is speak to a lawyer. We can't offer you the kind of advice you need here. My daughter is with my in laws Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 1 minute ago, Viper666 said: My daughter is with my in laws And have you got a lawyer working on this with you? Without that, you can't do anything. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 2 minutes ago, Viper666 said: My daughter is with my in laws Maybe she is safer there since it's court ordered. You seem to have serious problems surviving and taking care of yourself and your son. Your lucky your family took you in instead of being in a homeless shelter or on the street. You are not entitled to money from your father. If you are having difficulty, you can go to social services for help with food, legal problems and other assistance. Link to comment
Viper666 Posted January 23 Author Share Posted January 23 51 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Maybe she is safer there since it's court ordered. You seem to have serious problems surviving and taking care of yourself and your son. Your lucky your family took you in instead of being in a homeless shelter or on the street. You are not entitled to money from your father. If you are having difficulty, you can go to social services for help with food, legal problems and other assistance. She was never in danger with me in the first place. I wasn't abusive or neglectful. Apparently if CPS was involved, I would've never been separated from my daughter. My dad was a narcissist and hypocrite. He went on and on about honesty-but had no honesty himself. Link to comment
Viper666 Posted January 23 Author Share Posted January 23 58 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Maybe she is safer there since it's court ordered. You seem to have serious problems surviving and taking care of yourself and your son. Your lucky your family took you in instead of being in a homeless shelter or on the street. You are not entitled to money from your father. If you are having difficulty, you can go to social services for help with food, legal problems and other assistance. Sometimes I wish I had of gone to a homeless shelter, instead of living with family that gives me no answers and being the family scapegoat Link to comment
tattoobunnie Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 10 hours ago, Viper666 said: She was never in danger with me in the first place. I wasn't abusive or neglectful. Apparently if CPS was involved, I would've never been separated from my daughter. My dad was a narcissist and hypocrite. He went on and on about honesty-but had no honesty himself. Why can't you work and pay off your own mortgage? It is very hard for CPS to take children away, so I'm not going to get into this. Instead of fixating on someone else's car, save up for the mortgage, get a part-time job, or a job, and pay it off yourself. Link to comment
Jaunty Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 As long as you are dependent on other people, family or not, to take care of you and your kids, you are at their mercy. Link to comment
Viper666 Posted January 24 Author Share Posted January 24 14 hours ago, tattoobunnie said: Why can't you work and pay off your own mortgage? It is very hard for CPS to take children away, so I'm not going to get into this. Instead of fixating on someone else's car, save up for the mortgage, get a part-time job, or a job, and pay it off yourself. CPS was never involved. Apparently if they were, none of this would've happened Link to comment
Viper666 Posted January 24 Author Share Posted January 24 14 hours ago, tattoobunnie said: Why can't you work and pay off your own mortgage? It is very hard for CPS to take children away, so I'm not going to get into this. Instead of fixating on someone else's car, save up for the mortgage, get a part-time job, or a job, and pay it off yourself. Reread what I wrote Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 Have you got a lawyer currently? Link to comment
tattoobunnie Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 9 hours ago, Viper666 said: Reread what I wrote Don't have to. That car isn't yours. Just because your father changed his mind, does not mean you are still entitled to anything of his. Let's say you pay off the mortgage, you still have yearly taxes, home maintenance and repairs, utilities, on top of which you need to cover things for your kids and yourself. If Child Protective Services wasn't involved, how did your in-laws just take your kid? 2 Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 You wrote you had been unable to find work. Are you still unemployed? Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 A lawyer, a job, a plan for housing, therapy, and reliable birth control. A bunch of these resources may be available at no or low cost - something you need to look into. It's a lot but you can do it. It's for your kids , let that be the motivation. Link to comment
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