STD riddled boyfriend blames me!?

[sorenokk]

Yesterday I was discharged from hospital after many months of mystery as to why sex is so painful I was diagnosed with a lifelong STD. My current boyfriend (M29) is the only sexual partner I have ever had whilst he has had many one night stands and had MANY sexual partners and alot of unprotected sex with various people. So the only person I could have contracted the STD from would be him. However despite us talking extensively about this whilst I was in hospital where he was incredibly supportive, apologetic and caring I have come home to a complete a***hole.

We had a big fight last night where he stated that because I now have an STD he is "at risk". He blamed me and was completely dillusional to talk to claiming he couldn't possibly have it because he's asymptomatic (which is untrue as he has all the same symptoms, rash, pain, blisters etc). I couldn't reason with him and I just don't know what to do. Despite my positive test results he's deluded himself into thinking I have some mystery illness that can't be cured, which is 100% impossible. The part that is most upsetting is how he's turned this into a blame game when I am perfectly fine with accepting that an STD has been diagnosed as it won't affect anything so long as we both take our medication. 

For now I've asked for space until I recover as the stress of his behaviour is making me even more ill. Should I end this relationship? 

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks

[Seraphim]

Absolutely, 100% end this relationship. He put you medically at risk and now he is lying . He is beyond the pale. I would leave today and never talk to him again. 

[sorenokk]

Thanks for the input Seraphim

[Seraphim]

Good wishes to heal as much as you can physically and mentally as well. Look after yourself and always value yourself . 

3 minutes ago, sorenokk said:

Thanks for the input Seraphim

[MissCanuck]

50 minutes ago, sorenokk said:

Should I end this relationship? 

Yes. This is a complete deal-breaker. 

 

[smackie9]

Did you always knew this guy was out all willie nillie having unprotected sex before you met 😕 ? Or was this half ass mentioned, and didn't find out til this? I'm so sorry this was your only sexual experience, selfish bastard must have told you some lies.

[LotusBlack]

I’m so sorry you have been through this experience. What a gaslighting, horrible human being he is. My first serious boyfriend was also the man I lost my virginity to and without me realising, the first time we were together (my first time with anyone) he removed the condom during sex and I did not realise that until it was too late and I never gave my consent for that. He, I knew, had been a very promiscuous person and I was so angry at what he could have exposed me to. I lived in fear for the next 3 months until all tests came back negative for everything.

I have only ever been with a partner I am in an exclusive relationship with but since the first time, I now never allow a thing to occur unless and until my partner has been tested for everything, even if it means having to wait 3 months to make sure all results are accurate. I don’t even have cold sores as a result. 

I'm so sorry you were treated the way you were. He has no love or respect for you, no consideration or care, so I think there is no way this relationship can move forward, as the necessary foundation, which is built on the above qualities, does not exist.

[shouldhavelearned]

Tough break

 

If you knew this about him, why didn't you have him get tested?

[catfeeder]

I wouldn’t waste my breath on this guy. I’d be too busy finding another place to live or otherwise seeking legal advice to get rid of the guy from my home.

 His fake indignation wouldn’t even register with me; I’d have no interest in what he had to say.

Head high, and respect yourself.

[Sam1986]

On 12/8/2023 at 4:25 PM, sorenokk said:

For now I've asked for space until I recover as the stress of his behaviour is making me even more ill. Should I end this relationship? 

Drop that *** right away, don't even bother questioning this.
Blaming you is as low as one can get, and tells you a ton about what sort of character you're dealing with here.