I’m afraid I’ll never get over him

[Sarah Smith]

I’m afraid I’ll never get over him.

 

The relationship was not good for me, that’s why it had to end. He would treat me (and most other people in his life) like they don’t matter, to the point where he lost a lot of friends. He was extremely unreliable. I had to beg for the bare minimum, we would love-breadcrumb me. He would say and do hurtful things. He himself had lots of issues he didn’t want to resolve, but was extremely hard on me for the smallest mistake, almost unforgiving.

And he was giving attention to other women.

And still, he would always say I’m too good for him and that I shouldn’t be with him.

 

I knew this would destroy me over time, I did what I had to do.

 

But oh my god it hurts. I haven’t seen him for over 4 months, and it’s as strong as never.

Despite all his flaws, there was something incredibly special about him. It cannot be put into words. We had an undeniable connection. Even the day we met, felt almost like we had known each other for years. 

I’m very realistic about love, I’ve never had this thought before, not even about exes I was with for years. But I’m afraid I’ll never feel this way about anyone again. I’m afraid I’ll never be able to move on a 100%. 

But I also know going back isn’t the solution, because he would never really love me back. No matter how much of myself I’d give and sacrifice. 

 

What do I do?

[Batya33]

You let those feelings exist. At the same time you create a life that is busy with what you enjoy doing. Hopefully that includes daily cardio exercise.  I find extremely brisk walking especially uphill helps me feel more grounded and get out stress and negative energy.  Good luck !

[boltnrun]

Are you doing any of the following? Looking at any of his social media, talking about him with his friends and/or family members, looking at old photos and/or rereading messages from him, listening to songs or watching TV programs that remind you of him, driving stealthily past his home?

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Sarah Smith said:

 I also know going back isn’t the solution, because he would never really love me back. No matter how much of myself I’d give and sacrifice. 

How long ago did you break up? It seems pretty fresh. Unfortunately it seems like you overinvested and that, unfortunately, makes breakups worse. Even the use of "sacrifice" and "giving yourself"  suggests that there's not necessarily anything so great about him in particular but you gave away too much. 

[MissCanuck]

According to your other thread, you recently messaged him. 

You need to not do that anymore, so you will indeed keep yourself stuck.