Been on too much dates with no result

[BR98]

Hello,
I had quite an interesting year. Since I broke up with my ex (beginning 2023), I have downloaded Tinder and some other apps to get back in the dating world. I have had, in like 6 months, 15 dates, which seems like quite a lot. None of them amounted to anything, not even a kiss. I would say I am fairly good looking, I often got told that by people in my life. Probably the reason why I am easily able to get the first date IRL - but as soon as I actually meet the girl in real life, I am never able to get the second date, most of them say they just see me as a friend.

I got a bit fed up of it, trying to switch 'tactics', be less 'friendly' and more mean but then I just come out as rude lol. Last date I thought the date was going really well I tried to kiss her and she just reject me instantly and say she see me as friend - I was sure I had all the 'green lights' at that moment, so I made the conclusion I have absolutely no 'skill' in reading the signs and for dating etc. Girl before that told me I was 'weird'. I have even watched videos about 'how to talk to girls on dates' on youtube and stuff like that, the techniques applied have still not amounted to anything.

This seems to be a recent problem as when I was younger it was 'easier' for some reason.
Towards the last dates I was going like a 'gamble', like I had no idea if it will go well or not, it kind of created me this whole anxiety about dating now.

I don't know what i'm doing wrong. I dress nice, good hygiene, respectful - maybe 'too' nice? For some reason they don't sexualize me. 

Anyone had similar experience to this and tips on what to do ?

[Wiseman2]

4 minutes ago, BR98 said:

I got a bit fed up of it, trying to switch 'tactics', be less 'friendly' and more mean  I have even watched videos about 'how to talk to girls on dates' on youtube and stuff like that, the techniques applied have still not amounted to anything.

The only mistake you mentioned are being on tinder, being too aggressive and trying to use pickup artist tactics like "being mean". Unfortunately you seem to be coming on too strong with pick-up artist rubbish and that can turn women off. 

You're getting dates so that's not the problem, it's whatever is happening on the dates that seems to be the issue.

Try a better dating app and try not to kiss on the first meet. Ask for a brief coffee/drink and if you hit it off ask for a second date.

That last thing you want is to be too grabby or pushy and women tossing you in the "just another horndog" basket 

[rainbowsandroses]

May I ask how YOU feel about them?  Other than finding them physically attractive? 

You know genuine chemistry is mutual right?   It's an "energy," a vibrational pull between the both of you.

So it's curious that you're feeling something but these women aren't. 

My guess is what you're feeling is physical attraction but there's no real chemistry / energy / vibrational pull happening.

Which right or wrong is what many women look for, so they friendzone you.

There is no secret formula to creating chemistry, it's either there or it's not.  

So keep going.  Continue to bring your best self to the date, remain upbeat and positive and eventually something will click, mutually.

Good luck!!!

 

 

[BR98]

48 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

May I ask how YOU feel about them?  Other than finding them physically attractive? 

You know genuine chemistry is mutual right?   It's an "energy," a vibrational pull between the both of you.

So it's curious that you're feeling something but these women aren't. 

My guess is what you're feeling is physical attraction but there's no real chemistry / energy / vibrational pull happening.

Which right or wrong is what many women look for, so they friendzone you.

There is no secret formula to creating chemistry, it's either there or it's not.  

So keep going.  Continue to bring your best self to the date, remain upbeat and positive and eventually something will click, mutually.

Good luck!!!

 

 

Thank you for reply, you are right, I am always the one 'feeling' it and it's never mutual. Maybe I come across as too needy too. I will take a bit of a break , work on myself then come back in the game refreshed. Thanks !

[Batya33]

27 minutes ago, BR98 said:

Thank you for reply, you are right, I am always the one 'feeling' it and it's never mutual. Maybe I come across as too needy too. I will take a bit of a break , work on myself then come back in the game refreshed. Thanks !

I am all for breaks -but be specific with yourself about what "work" -I was a huge believer in personal growth and I worked on that while I was dating -I dated for many years and met over 100 men through online sites.  What work would you do where you couldn't meet people for coffee simultaneously?

[lostandhurt]

Tips on what to do:  Pretty hard to say as we are not there.

 Here are some general things you need to pay attention to.

1. Pay ATTENTION.  Do they look bored?  Are they checking their phone? Does the date start off good and go down hill?  If so what are you doing or saying at that moment?

2. Talk to them as a person you want to get to know, not someone you want to sexualize you.  Women can tell if you are just looking to get laid so be mindful.

3. Do not over compliment them.  When you do, make it specific and genuine.  "Wow I love that dress, it looks great on you"  If they are talking and smile really big compliment them on their beautiful smile. Pick carefully and only do it naturally.

  4. Ask questions and show interest in who they are as a person.  "Have you lived here long?" "Oh really, do you have family here too?"  See what I mean?  Each answer can lead to a new question.  

5. If a woman is touchy feely with you during the date you can THINK about a goodnight kiss but in your case you sound like you have a hard time reading signals so best to just plan on a nice warm hug if things are going really well.

6. Do they ask about you? If not they are either nervous, super shy or not interested.  If they are not asking questions about you then say something like "I have been asking all about you and haven't given you a chance to ask any questions, is there anything you want to know about me?"

7. Don't talk about yourself too much without prompting and when you do be super humble. Bragging or trying to impress them will more than likely turn them off.

8. Do not cuss, talk about your ex even in a good way, look at your phone, bring up negative things, complain about anything or check out the server.

9. Treat the servers with respect and kindness.

  Something is off but hard to tell what it is unless your profile picture looks nothing like you or you are way shorter than you say you are on your profile.

 Lost

[Kwothe28]

I dont think you can "force" attraction. Its just something tat is there. I even dont think you are doing something inherently that bad. Its just that lots of dates are "one and done". Especially with dating apps women who all have choice after choice. You have no problem lining up dates so you should keep dating. If they want to be friends just thank them for their time and move on. In time you maybe find somebody who would be "enamored" with you like you are with them. Cest la vie.

[poorlittlefish]

2 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

Tips on what to do:  Pretty hard to say as we are not there.

 Here are some general things you need to pay attention to.

1. Pay ATTENTION.  Do they look bored?  Are they checking their phone? Does the date start off good and go down hill?  If so what are you doing or saying at that moment?

2. Talk to them as a person you want to get to know, not someone you want to sexualize you.  Women can tell if you are just looking to get laid so be mindful.

3. Do not over compliment them.  When you do, make it specific and genuine.  "Wow I love that dress, it looks great on you"  If they are talking and smile really big compliment them on their beautiful smile. Pick carefully and only do it naturally.

  4. Ask questions and show interest in who they are as a person.  "Have you lived here long?" "Oh really, do you have family here too?"  See what I mean?  Each answer can lead to a new question.  

5. If a woman is touchy feely with you during the date you can THINK about a goodnight kiss but in your case you sound like you have a hard time reading signals so best to just plan on a nice warm hug if things are going really well.

6. Do they ask about you? If not they are either nervous, super shy or not interested.  If they are not asking questions about you then say something like "I have been asking all about you and haven't given you a chance to ask any questions, is there anything you want to know about me?"

7. Don't talk about yourself too much without prompting and when you do be super humble. Bragging or trying to impress them will more than likely turn them off.

8. Do not cuss, talk about your ex even in a good way, look at your phone, bring up negative things, complain about anything or check out the server.

9. Treat the servers with respect and kindness.

  Something is off but hard to tell what it is unless your profile picture looks nothing like you or you are way shorter than you say you are on your profile.

 Lost

This is all very good advice. Most of my first dates haven't led to seconds because the guy either looks nothing like his photo or he goes on and on about himself, not asking anything about me. 

[Batya33]

5 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

I dont think you can "force" attraction. Its just something tat is there. I even dont think you are doing something inherently that bad. Its just that lots of dates are "one and done". Especially with dating apps women who all have choice after choice. You have no problem lining up dates so you should keep dating. If they want to be friends just thank them for their time and move on. In time you maybe find somebody who would be "enamored" with you like you are with them. Cest la vie.

I agree and I think a person who makes a bad first impression can kill potential attraction. Happened to me on my end and I could tell a couple of times on the other end!  Including if the person is rude to servers -as Lost put.

[smackie9]

If you want an honest opinion ask a female friend, or get some constructive criticism from a dating coach. 

[catfeeder]

What kinds of questions do you ask your dates?

[BR98]

11 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

Tips on what to do:  Pretty hard to say as we are not there.

 Here are some general things you need to pay attention to.

1. Pay ATTENTION.  Do they look bored?  Are they checking their phone? Does the date start off good and go down hill?  If so what are you doing or saying at that moment?

2. Talk to them as a person you want to get to know, not someone you want to sexualize you.  Women can tell if you are just looking to get laid so be mindful.

3. Do not over compliment them.  When you do, make it specific and genuine.  "Wow I love that dress, it looks great on you"  If they are talking and smile really big compliment them on their beautiful smile. Pick carefully and only do it naturally.

  4. Ask questions and show interest in who they are as a person.  "Have you lived here long?" "Oh really, do you have family here too?"  See what I mean?  Each answer can lead to a new question.  

5. If a woman is touchy feely with you during the date you can THINK about a goodnight kiss but in your case you sound like you have a hard time reading signals so best to just plan on a nice warm hug if things are going really well.

6. Do they ask about you? If not they are either nervous, super shy or not interested.  If they are not asking questions about you then say something like "I have been asking all about you and haven't given you a chance to ask any questions, is there anything you want to know about me?"

7. Don't talk about yourself too much without prompting and when you do be super humble. Bragging or trying to impress them will more than likely turn them off.

8. Do not cuss, talk about your ex even in a good way, look at your phone, bring up negative things, complain about anything or check out the server.

9. Treat the servers with respect and kindness.

  Something is off but hard to tell what it is unless your profile picture looks nothing like you or you are way shorter than you say you are on your profile.

 Lost

 

 

Guys, thanks for all your replies.

Just to clarify, I am not catfishing them at all, not on my photos nor my height which I put in my bio (180cm, 5'11 in us i think), so no 'surprises' on the physical side, the photos are recent, sometimes I even send live photos during the talking stage before meetup so no issue there.

I think the problem is purely on body language / communication style, maybe I am bit closed down IRL or look too cold. I am not tactile and also a bit shy, maybe I show lack of confidence. 

I am able to talk with them throughout the date, there is no 'awkward silence', I know how to bounce on questions etc. 

I think I don't know how to 'romance/seduce' them so they see me as a sexual partner - that is why they always see me as a friend, i'm not showing strong 'masculinity', I am a bit of a discreet and very calm person. 

So everything stems down more to my personality type and the vibe I give off. I think that is what I need to work on. It is hard to analyze myself, I would need to film a whole date and get some exterior feedback. 

I did ask some female friends about this and all they say is they don't know the problem because I seem normal and easy to talk to. Maybe they don't want to hurt my feelings with the truth.

To reply the others, I am always nice with servers and humble about myself, I don't brag about anything. It did happen I talk about my exes though but nothing major.

I am a bit of a geek, do not have too much social interaction, I stay a lot on the computer.

It just seems crazy to me to go on 15 dates and all of them reject me. At the beginning I thought they were not just suitable but I do not think it is just coincidence now, there is some personality work I have to do in order to create that 'attraction/gravitational pull'. Is it a 'skill' to be able to create that pull or it's something that supposed to come naturally ?

Thanks again for all the replies guys I really appreciate.

[lostandhurt]

20 minutes ago, BR98 said:

I have to do in order to create that 'attraction/gravitational pull'. Is it a 'skill' to be able to create that pull or it's something that supposed to come naturally ?

Yes and no.  Yes some people are naturals but others learn it and that usually comes from being relaxed.

  First off it sounds like you are not doing that bad.  You are chatting them up online and then getting first meets which for a lot of guys is extremely hard so feel good about that.  Next you need to understand these women have a lot of options and exercise those options by being selective who they will give a second date too.  This comes to my next question.  How do you know they just see you as a friend?  Are you asking for a second date at the end or during the first date?  

  I will let the ladies chime in here but I do not think the problem is that these women do not see you as a sexual partner, I think it is something else.  If I had to guess I would say your lack of social skills in person.

 This is where learning to talk to women can be learned but it requires practice.  Each and everyday you interact with women and that gives you a chance to practice.  It doesn't matter if they are to old for you, not your type or anything, all that matters is that they are women you get to chat with.  Cashiers, clerks, baristas and on and on.  Instead of the simple polite exchange step it up a little. "Hi, how is your day going so far?"  "I can't believe how crowded this place is, must make the time go by fast?"  I could give tons more but you get the idea.  These women are your captive audience so to speak and why not treat them with a more engaging manner and have a quick pleasant conversation while the transaction is happening.  Don't linger on or go on and on but expand your interactions.

  As far as the women seeing you in a more romantic/sexual way that is very hard for me to say.  Dating is a numbers game but you are smart to question why this is happening and how you can be the best version of yourself but do it because you want to be more social and friendly, not to just get a second date.

 Could it be you are shopping at the wrong store for what you want?  If you are the nerdy type and are going for the hot social media type chances are there will never be a connection.

 What ages are we talking by the way?

 Lost

[Batya33]

What kind of questions do you ask them (as per Catfeeder)? Do you have good posture? Do you have approachable body language and eye contact? 

I like how thoughtfully and genuinely you are going about this.

[rainbowsandroses]

@BR98I asked this in my previous but are you feeling chemistry/energy, that certain somethin somethin with them?

From what you've posted, you sound social, your vibe is positive, there's nothing you're doing to turn these women off.

The chemistry between you (both of you because chemistry is a mutual experience) is simply not there.  

It's very rare when it IS there, so again keep bringing your best self and it will happen. 

You can't force it or ask any special questions to make it happen. You cannot create that "vibrational pull" I spoke of.  It's either there or it's not, naturally.

Trust me, when the chemistry is there, a man could stand on his head on top of the bar and it wouldn't turn her off, she'd probably think it was hilarious!  Lol

Let it happen naturally and organically.  

Also try and meet more women IRL.  I'm not talking about events or meet-ups, just out and about on a Saturday afternoon for example. 

Take advantage of opportunities where women are around and talk to them!! 

Not cold approaching but being in the same environment and striking up a conversation naturally.

That's the best way imo, I meet a lot of men that way.

[BR98]

36 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

Yes and no.  Yes some people are naturals but others learn it and that usually comes from being relaxed.

  First off it sounds like you are not doing that bad.  You are chatting them up online and then getting first meets which for a lot of guys is extremely hard so feel good about that.  Next you need to understand these women have a lot of options and exercise those options by being selective who they will give a second date too.  This comes to my next question.  How do you know they just see you as a friend?  Are you asking for a second date at the end or during the first date?  

  I will let the ladies chime in here but I do not think the problem is that these women do not see you as a sexual partner, I think it is something else.  If I had to guess I would say your lack of social skills in person.

 This is where learning to talk to women can be learned but it requires practice.  Each and everyday you interact with women and that gives you a chance to practice.  It doesn't matter if they are to old for you, not your type or anything, all that matters is that they are women you get to chat with.  Cashiers, clerks, baristas and on and on.  Instead of the simple polite exchange step it up a little. "Hi, how is your day going so far?"  "I can't believe how crowded this place is, must make the time go by fast?"  I could give tons more but you get the idea.  These women are your captive audience so to speak and why not treat them with a more engaging manner and have a quick pleasant conversation while the transaction is happening.  Don't linger on or go on and on but expand your interactions.

  As far as the women seeing you in a more romantic/sexual way that is very hard for me to say.  Dating is a numbers game but you are smart to question why this is happening and how you can be the best version of yourself but do it because you want to be more social and friendly, not to just get a second date.

 Could it be you are shopping at the wrong store for what you want?  If you are the nerdy type and are going for the hot social media type chances are there will never be a connection.

 What ages are we talking by the way?

 Lost

Thanks for reply. I am 29 years old, the girls I dated are all about my age, 24-28 range.

I know they are seeing me as friend because they literally tell it to me lol. So my most recent date, she told me 'I give a weird vibe', there was no follow conversation to that. The one before I tried to kiss her at the end of the date she just reject my kiss told me she like take things slow, 1 hour after we separate she told me she is just seeing me as a friend. The one before the first date went well, we planned for second then she told me she needs 'time for herself' (a kind way of saying not interested I presume) then the conversation died after that. The ones before more or less same story each time - you see the pattern.

You are absolutely right about talking IRL to women - I never do, If I have to talk to female cashier I just want it to be over quick, I am not too interested in social interactions to be honest that is probably why I lack in social skills, I am never practicing it. I know women are attracted to guys that are at ease in social interactions, make them laugh etc... There might be a girl somewhere that would accept me as I am but it is a very small minority, probably not even on dating app. The thing is that I go to dates with rather attractive girls which probably have a lot of options so they won't have the patience with me if I make a bad first impression. 

I do want to highlight the bad impression part because i've had a couple of of relationships of 1/2 year each where I was completely normal with them. It is a recent problem now that I become a bit more introverted and less social therefore I really make a bad first impression, even though I know how to be 'in a relationship' I don't lack experience with it. Of course, I can not say to the girl 'please be patient i'm just a bit weird at the beginning' lol. 

I exclusively dated girls from the apps, and no they are not super social media types I do not like that type anyway, they are just simple normal girls.

 

@Batya33 I don't recall anything specific what I ask, I just bounce off of what they say and say 'what about you' ? Then try to develop on the reply they give, if they talk about their family I ask for more specifics etc. 

 

@rainbowsandroses Most of the time, I do not. I felt it maybe 2 or 3 times out of the 15 but it was only on my side ahah. Most of the time I want it to be over quick to be honest. At the first rejections I would try to 'convince' them , obviously a bad idea, I cannot force. The recent ones I just say 'ok' now and go to next one ahah. 

 

I think those apps are a bit toxic because it's like you are 'hiding' behind your phone then IRL it's completely different. I absolutely do need to chat up women IRL and ask about their day etc like Lost said, I think i've never done it even once in my life. If I work on that, it will probably increase my ability to have that 'gravitational pull'.

 

 

 

 

 

[rainbowsandroses]

10 minutes ago, BR98 said:

Most of the time, I do not. I felt it maybe 2 or 3 times out of the 15 but it was only on my side ahah. Most of the time I want it to be over quick to be honest. At the first rejections I would try to 'convince' them , obviously a bad idea, I cannot force. The recent ones I just say 'ok' now and go to next one ahah.

Well if you're not feeling it, then why do you care if they friendzone you?  Is it ego, what?  I don't understand.

Chemistry isn't there, so it's no biggie, on to the next.

The 2-3 times you were feeling it but they weren't, I have to question what you were feeling

Because chemistry when it's genuine, not based on looks, status or money, is a mutual experience happening between the both of you.

[BR98]

8 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Well if you're not feeling it, then why do you care if they friendzone you?  Is it ego, what?  I don't understand.

Chemistry isn't there, so it's no biggie, on to the next.

The 2-3 times you were feeling it but they weren't, I have to question what you were. feeling

Because chemistry when it's genuine, not based on looks, status or money, is a mutual experience happening between the both of you.

It might be ego. In beginning I didn't care but the more dates I'm telling myself something is wrong with me. I feel them really hyped up at the talking stage, very available etc and after the IRL meet up they switch really fast and become distant even though I stay the same. 

I am absolutely looking for that type of chemistry not based on looks or status. I don't act rich or talk about material things, just looking for something simple and genuine.

Like I said, I will take a break of these dates and work on myself, right now it created too much anxiety on that subject it's affecting my self-esteem.

 

[rainbowsandroses]

2 hours ago, BR98 said:

It might be ego. In beginning I didn't care but the more dates I'm telling myself something is wrong with me. I feel them really hyped up at the talking stage, very available etc and after the IRL meet up they switch really fast and become distant even though I stay the same. 

Because when you met IRL, the chemistry was not there.  That's all there is to it and it's very common especially when you meet online.

What I still don't understand though is, since you admitted yourself you don't feel the chemistry, why do you care that they don't either?

I'm sorry but that doesn't make sense to me. 

Instead of placing your focus on how they feel about you and "getting" them to like you and "creating" chemistry/attraction (which you can't anyway), focus instead on how you feel about them or more importantly how you feel about each other and how you click and vibe together.

If you don't feel good about yourself and that you're not bringing your best self to the date naturally with no games or strategies, by all means take a break.

I've taken several breaks. I took a short break after my marriage ended, and I recently met an awesome man, spontaneously not on line, where the chemistry and attraction was/is just right and we have our 4th date planned for this weekend. 😀

 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, BR98 said:

 I tried to kiss her at the end of the date she just reject my kiss told me she like take things slow, 1 hour after we separate she told me she is just seeing me as a friend.  I work on that, it will probably increase my ability to have that 'gravitational pull'.

Unfortunately some of this is par for the course. One and done dates are common and it takes a think skin. Try not to take it personally.

The "weird vibe" they are sensing is this artificial PUA "building attraction" thing. Please discontinue this as well as lunging in for a kiss on the first meet and trying to "break the physical barrier" and other horrible PUA  advice. 

Please just be yourself.  However you really are.  If you put on an act to "build attraction", act " mean" and other counterproductive dating tips. 

Turn off the PUA videos and be yourself. That's why it's harder this time around. It's not that you're suddenly unattractive or a different person, it's this excess focus on "building attraction". 

[rainbowsandroses]

8 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Unfortunately some of this is par for the course. One and done dates are common and it takes a think skin. Try not to take it personally.

The "weird vibe" they are sensing is this artificial PUA "building attraction" thing. Please discontinue this as well as lunging in for a kiss on the first meet and trying to "break the physical barrier" and other horrible PUA  advice. 

Please just be yourself.  However you really are.  If you put on an act to "build attraction", act " mean" and other counterproductive dating tips. 

Turn off the PUA videos and be yourself. That's why it's harder this time around. It's not that you're suddenly unattractive or a different person, it's this excess focus on "building attraction". 

AMEN!!!!

[BR98]

@rainbowsandroses

I understand your point. I think I was trying too hard to create artifical chemistry that i'm giving off a weird vibe. And from trying too hard to create it, i'm not myself so it's not giving the opportunity to create the chemistry. I am never relaxed on dates. I was eager to go on these dates because I feel a girl will 'complete' me but I have to feel good about myself alone first. Congrats on your 4th date

@Wiseman2

Completely right, i've been brainwashed by these red pill youtubers giving advice. Maybe i'm trying to impersonate a 'player' type which is  not at all in my nature to do that so it will always feel forced. And it's true i'm always trying to artifically build attraction. 

I greatly appreciate your advice guys it really helped thank you.

[Batya33]

There literally is no way to create chemistry. There are ways to be open to it happening, there are ways to kill potential chemistry and if you have chemistry there are ways to enhance it, maintain it, etc.  I had a first meet with a potential platonic friend.  Last week.  We had a really nice conversation during our 40 minute walk in our local park.  She's smart and interesting and we have sons the same age (but our conversation didn't focus on parenting or our kids).  But. I didn't feel that click that made me feel like -oh I can see us being good friends! She "gets me" - I would be happy to see her again -but I'm not so interested either.  

When I met men in real life and through online sites and blind dates - I gave it up to 4 dates if I was on the fence -if there was potential for a spark. I met a number of incredibly hot looking men who I felt -absolutely no spark with.  I met men who weren't conventionally good looking and we sparked a lot!

When my husband and I reconnected years after we broke up and cancelled our wedding - it was supposed to be a platonic catch up dinner. 

He arrived late ad sweaty -who knew there were 2 restaurants with the same name? I was dressed down since we made the plan last minute- neither of us tried to have chemistry.  And -sparks flew! Shocking. 2 meets later - after about 3 weeks - he asked me to get back together.  We didn't act on the sparks till then at all.  But it was undeniable.  Absolutely it can take time to develop -to feel that click especially with a stranger - but - I respect the women who after a few dates realize it's a no go.  Sounds like you're trying too hard maybe? 

[rainbowsandroses]

1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

When my husband and I reconnected years after we broke up and cancelled our wedding - it was supposed to be a platonic catch up dinner. 

neither of us tried to have chemistry.  And -sparks flew! 

Batya, what a great story!  

Re second bolded, I wonder if you had met online, where there is that "pressure" to connect and make chemistry happen that so many online daters believe, you and your now-hubs would NOT have connected and felt sparks!

The pressure to connect and create chemistry is what kills it imo.

If one were to meet the same person they did not connect with when meeting online spontaneously at a party or out and about or as in your case, a catch up as friends, without that pressure to connect, to feel sparks, to make chemistry happen, they may have actually connected and felt the spark! 

Just like you and your hubs did. 

It's the pressure and expectation that ruins it, which is why I hate online and prefer spontaneous meets. 

JMO.

 

[lostandhurt]

You are trying to solve a problem with the wrong equation.  You freely admit you avoid social interactions even with the safest women to talk to.  If a woman goes as far to actually tell you that you gave off a weird vibe either she was not a nice person, you pushed her for a reason or you put off I really weird vibe.  

 You are not dating girls with no experience, you are dating attractive women that have been on a lot of dates so they know when a guy is trying to hard or is using a formula he saw to get women.  Please stop all that because you are getting dates with attractive women which is the hard part.  You need to do as I said and I mean tomorrow but first you need to hide your profile for a while so you can get to work on you.  This in real life problem has come home to roost and you need to break out of it.

I have no idea what your days are like but you need to interact with women so you become relaxed and natural around them.  They are just people that have issues, poop and pee just like you do, are insecure at times and even nervous on a first meet/date.  Make it a point each day to talk to a woman you have an interaction with.  This is not going to solve itself and hoping to meet a woman that gets you and will wait for you to not be weird around them is not going to happen.

 I am curious what happened to cause you to regress like this since you said you weren't always like this.

 Lost