I was in a bad relationship

[CoreyM]

I was in a bad relationship about a year ago and the girl I was with I still can't forget her, I can't get her out of my mind, let me explain from the beginning, I used to work in a hotel about a year ago, there is a girl who is originally from the Dominican Republic, she is a room attendant, I met her we started conversing, she speaks mostly Spanish so a lot of our conversation was mostly translated so I had to translate into her language but I learned more Spanish as I was conversing with her more, I fell in love with her instantly, she's beautiful and exotic, she has three kids and she separated from her husband, they're not divorced but they're separated.

I started dating her and then I found out that one day she would be kind of sweet but not overly sweet, and then there were some days where she wouldn't even talk to me and being such a harsh foul mood, until I found out she has bipolar disorder which I was totally okay with because my older brother also suffers from the same disorder, that didn't bother me much. But when she would get in a bad mood she wouldn't talk to me for days or she would treat me really bad and she would expect me to just be okay with it and accept it which I did, I took care of her and her kids, she would always ask me for money, not $50 or $60.. More like $1,500.. she kept asking me for money, now she was my queen and I took extreme care of her, giving her everything, I did everything to make her happy, she was starting to change a little bit, not being as nice anymore, being more foul so she wanted another $1,500 a week later, I told her I can't do it and she told me if I don't give her the money that she will not be affectionate or loving to me which she wasn't anyway, so I walked away from her and I left her, now thinking about it..

I kind of miss her, she was so beautiful and attractive and I'll never find anyone like that again.. A year has passed in I just keep missing her, I can't get her out of my mind It's from the morning to the night and I really don't know what to do, please help..

[Batya33]

I think you get busy creating a fun fulfilling life and let those thoughts exist but on the periphery.  They are focused on her looks and your sexual attraction to her.  If you create a full life my sense is your perspective on what you find attractive for romantic relationships may shift to less of an intense focus on physical features.  If you're looking for random hookups or casual dating where you can have "arm candy" that's different.  My sense also is you feel that the way someone looks is valuable as far as showing what you can get.  Hopefully that will shift too.  You also sound like you had low self esteem and were vulnerable to her financial demand.

[Wiseman2]

Do you still work at the same place? Where is she now? It seems she was troubled and somewhat desperate. 

[Andrina]

4 hours ago, CoreyM said:

I'll never find anyone like that again.

Well, I hope not. Who needs a black heart packaged in a pretty package? Subconsciously, likely because of poor self esteem, you believe she is all you're worthy of in life.

How about having the standard of only dating women who have kind hearts. A person like that won't be asking you for money, and will treat you as you should be treated.

What is keeping her in your present? Do you look through saved photos of her and texts? If so, delete all that. I wouldn't date again until you won't be comparing her to a new lady, assuming nobody else will measure up to her outer beauty. Strange if you can only be attracted to one woman on the planet. You're fooling yourself with that thought. Good luck in starting a new chapter of your life.

[Kwothe28]

So you found a pretty, probably big booty, single mom Dominican, who extreacted cash from you? I would say you got off easily. You could have married something like that.

Anyway, I am more worried about your behavior. You found somebody who extracted cash from you. And you were happy to oblige because "She is my Queen". Are you Jon Snow from Game of Thrones? Were writers of your life also written all of your IQ points away when you met your Dominican woman like they did with Jon after he met Daenerys? Because its very worrying to exhibit this kind of behavior. Maybe in the moment you didnt had enough money to give it to her so you broke up. But its very worrying that you considered giving her large sums of money OK. Why? Because she is pretty? Because you were worried that she wont love you otherwise? Its something you should retrospect so it wont happen in the future. You can find somebody who will love you without large sum of money which you will give them. Heck, its preferable, because, as you can see, people who love you for the money, will leave after that money stops flowing.

[AndieA]

You need to keep telling yourself some things to help get your mind off the fact that you think you love her.  She is married.  And the only she wants is your money.  Why don't you think about (whether true or not) she is taking your money and giving it to her husband.  She is NOT a nice person, no matter where she is in her psychological pathology.  She told you all she wants is your money. At least she was honest about that!  You are in love with the idea of her being someone whom she is not.   Another trick is, find a woman you think is very physically unattractive, then think of your woman in that body.  Would you still be pining over her?

Just as a side note, I do not have a pretty face.  And hearing that all you still think about is her beauty (nothing about how she treated you or any positive personality traits) "amuses" me.  I have several male high school classmates who all married "beautiful" women.  They are ALL divorced.  These women cheated on them, were high maintenance, violent when they didn't get their way, and felt like they deserved a richer husband.  I don't believe that all pretty women are like that, but I guess some learn because of their looks they can get away with a lot, "your" girl being one of them.

 

[smackie9]

We desire most what we can't have. Snap out of it...it's unhealthy.

[HeartGoesOn]

Not only is she still married, her main goal was to use you as a meal ticket...so to speak. Also, when you feel the need to win them over with money, you've already lost your value.

In any event there is no future with this woman, and it may be helpful to see this as a lesson learned.