Confused about my boss

[Eva1223]

I’ve been at my previous company for 2 years. 

When my boss left to manage a better company in the same field, I left shortly after him. He offered me a very good position and it felt like a natural step to be working with him again.

We’ve always had a very special and close relationship - unlike one I’ve ever had with anyone at work. 
He is married with 2 children, around 10 yrs older than me. 
We never talked much about our personal lives - but we’ve talked loads about business, life, thoughts, dreams etc. 
No lines have ever been crossed. 
I’d say we get along very well but there was something I noticed lately - just how available he is to me. Too much? 
So, like i said, a few months after him, i also quit my job. He was very involved in the whole process, encouraging me and checking in almost daily. The day I did quit, he came to my work to take me to lunch, we talked mostly about how my notice went and how i feel. 
Then i got back to work and was stranded by some colleagues who I don’t like etc. So I needed support and asked him to call me. 
Well - he did call me while en route from his job, we ended up talking for an hour. 
And here is the thing - I noticed he stopped driving and parked his car at home but continued to talk to me and didn’t leave his car. After a while I heard he’s been parked but didn’t tell me he needs to go, so I did. 
So all of this makes me wonder now… i know i lean too much on him for advice but he is there and we bond too much. 
i have 0 daddy issues if someone feels this way, it’s not about that. 
I just feel good around him and the feeling is mutual. 

What are your thoughts on this? Is all of that OK?

[Wiseman2]

5 minutes ago, Eva1223 said:

 He is married with 2 children, around 10 yrs older than me. 

It's ok to have a little bit of a work crush, but since you are both married and work together, it's best to keep it as professional as possible. Is this the same man?:

 

[Eva1223]

Yes, unfortunately i am still stuck in this situation. 

[smackie9]

Put yourself in his wife’s shoes and ask yourself how would it look to you if your husband was paying this much attention and emotion into a female coworker? Would it look Ok to you?? 

[Jaunty]

Why have you not mentioned that you are married in this post?  Is your husband OK with this situation?

 

[catfeeder]

58 minutes ago, Eva1223 said:

Yes, unfortunately i am still stuck in this situation. 

You’re not stuck, you deliberately followed him there. None of this is happening ‘to’ you, you are the one driving it. And you can un-stick yourself at any time.

You could have resolved this months ago. When I look at your prior thread, I see all of the thoughtful and sincere responses you received, yet you took a job with this guy anyway, and you come back to reframe this as some innocent set of circumstances that might somehow just appear to be unethical?

What more do you want anyone to say?

[Andrina]

45 minutes ago, Eva1223 said:

i know i lean too much on him for advice but he is there and we bond too much. 

These are the moments you have to be a mature adult and place boundaries on yourself. If there were no other people to be made uncomfortable in the situation (spouses, co-workers seeing favoritism and fraternization), then this might be doable but still ill-advised.

It's like a child eating endless amounts of candy because her brain isn't fully formed to worry about the consequences. A child has an excuse. You don't, because you know better but are still engaging for the inappropriate fulfillment you get from all of this.

Mature adults who possess ethics think about how their actions affect others, and if it's negative, then they stop. If it doesn't make you feel better to do the right thing, I suggest making an appointment with a psychologist to try to change the "me, me, me" mentality.

[Jaunty]

I just read your past thread.

I'm confused and concerned.  Are you actively setting yourself up to have an affair with this married man?  In August you said you would be cutting him off.

Now you have followed him to a new company and you actually seem quite invested in nurturing whatever you have going on.

You've chosen to pose this thread as if this is a new situation you are encountering.  But it's far from that.  You've gone to pretty extreme measures to be in his orbit.

What is actually going on in your mind?   Are you thinking that you'll just kind of "land" in an affair and some excitement will come your way?   

I really hope you will answer this question.

[shouldhavelearned]

Grow up and stop finding ways to communicate and see this married man.

[boltnrun]

Why don't you discuss your work issues with your own husband?

Or is it more exciting to have an affair type thing going with your boss?

Imagine his kids' faces when his wife kicks him out for emotionally cheating on his family. 

[MissCanuck]

9 hours ago, Eva1223 said:

Is all of that OK?

Is what okay? That you are a married woman who is very clearly trying to get close to a married man? 

No, that is not okay. Time to grow up, Eva. 

[Kwothe28]

From what I collected from last thread and this: You are a "Drama Queen". You get excited by drama. You find your marriage boring. He isnt exciting, doesnt get jealous etc. So you seek drama by trying to enter in affair with a married man. That would not only be dramatic by default but even if a hubby finds out he would create drama on his own. More drama is a win for you, that is all excitment in the world. I have a friend that is like that. Last time she found some ruffian with 3 kids who was abusive to her. Now she is with some guy musician that made a baby to his previous girlfriend. Because she cant live without drama. To the point that when the times are peaceful with current boyfriend, she gets drunk and creates some. So you chase that same kind of excitment. You dont care about "The Boss" or his marriage and what would the ramification of that be. But it would create drama for you. That is all you care.

And I would say the same thing I say to all of you who want to cheat. Get divorced and free the other side of your toxic influence. Then you can go around and chase other men, including married ones. But without your hubby as a victim of your toxicity and drama chasing.