Does This Girl Like Me

[Darrinmtec]

I went out with this girl 2 times in September both times I spent about 5 hours with her.  After the date I told her my intentions in which she said that in this time in her life she is looking for solid friends only it’s all she has to give (she just got out of a 4 year relationship in feb of this year).  On the second date she went completely off on her ex in all negative ways including how bad he was to her which disappointed me because this meetup was suppose to be us getting to know each other better.  Since those last 2 dates I figured I wanted to try a 3rd time and so far we haven’t been able to get out schedules figured out.  She has though mentioned going to a concert, meeting for lunch and going to her apartment to talk which we were suppose to do last weekend but a medical thing kept her from it but she did say we can reschedule and did mention I hope this doesn’t cause problems for future meet ups.

i am trying to figure out this girl has her feelings changed.  How do I persue this but no over persue.

[Wiseman2]

10 minutes ago, Darrinmtec said:

 she said that in this time in her life she is looking for solid friends only it’s all she has to give. On the second date she went completely off on her ex in all negative ways 

How did you meet? How old is she? Have you been in touch regularly?

Unfortunately it seems she's not really willing or able to date at this time. It's a red flag that she went on a rant about her ex on your second date. It's also a red flag that she only wants "friends" . 

Please try dating other women who are interested as well as ready willing and able to date. This woman may need a therapist rather than a date. 

[SherrySher]

19 minutes ago, Darrinmtec said:

I went out with this girl 2 times in September both times I spent about 5 hours with her.  After the date I told her my intentions in which she said that in this time in her life she is looking for solid friends only it’s all she has to give (she just got out of a 4 year relationship in feb of this year).  On the second date she went completely off on her ex in all negative ways including how bad he was to her which disappointed me because this meetup was suppose to be us getting to know each other better.  Since those last 2 dates I figured I wanted to try a 3rd time and so far we haven’t been able to get out schedules figured out.  She has though mentioned going to a concert, meeting for lunch and going to her apartment to talk which we were suppose to do last weekend but a medical thing kept her from it but she did say we can reschedule and did mention I hope this doesn’t cause problems for future meet ups.

i am trying to figure out this girl has her feelings changed.  How do I persue this but no over persue.

The first date she let you know that it's not going to be a relationship. Please listen to her.

Second date, she showed you in no uncertain terms that she is not over her ex.

Switch your thinking now to viewing this person as a possible friend only, but even then, it's not looking good.

[MissCanuck]

Putting it bluntly, there is nothing to pursue.

She has told you she can only offer you friendship. If you are hoping to date someone, she isn't your girl. 

 

[Darrinmtec]

She is work colleague of mine and we are in touch a bit through text.  I see her every second weekend.

[Darrinmtec]

2 minutes ago, SherrySher said:

The first date she let you know that it's not going to be a relationship. Please listen to her.

Second date, she showed you in no uncertain terms that she is not over her ex.

Switch your thinking now to viewing this person as a possible friend only, but even then, it's not looking good.

The last date was 7 weeks ago and she still wants to meet up and she initiated all the meet ups so far there has to be something there.

[SherrySher]

5 minutes ago, Darrinmtec said:

The last date was 7 weeks ago and she still wants to meet up and she initiated all the meet ups so far there has to be something there.

She has already told you..."friend only", and the second date was to have someone listen to how she is not over her boyfriend.

I'm a woman, I can tell you, that if she is still telling you about her ex boyfriend, she is saying in no uncertain terms that she is still thinking about him, she is still hurting over him, and she is not over him.

 

[Darrinmtec]

18 minutes ago, SherrySher said:

She has already told you..."friend only", and the second date was to have someone listen to how she is not over her boyfriend.

I'm a woman, I can tell you, that if she is still telling you about her ex boyfriend, she is saying in no uncertain terms that she is still thinking about him, she is still hurting over him, and she is not over him.

 

Well I agree she probably isn’t over him it has only been like 8 months.  I just like this women but it might be to hard to hang out with her.  Why is she initiating all these meet ups then.

[MissCanuck]

3 minutes ago, Darrinmtec said:

Why is she initiating all these meet ups then.

All what meetups?

There were only 2. Correct? And you haven't actually met up with her again in weeks now - and the last time she told you all about her ex. 

My guy, this is not a woman with a serious interest in dating you. 

[Wiseman2]

44 minutes ago, Darrinmtec said:

She is work colleague of mine and we are in touch a bit through text.  I see her every second weekend.

Do you see her at work? It's possible she's not over her ex or doesn't like messy workplace romances and very likely that she is dating others. You're obviously not exclusive so you are free to date others as well.

Perhaps she arranges "all these meetups" (2) when she's bored, lonely or in between dating others. Please trust your instincts that ranting about an ex instead of the date being about getting to know you better is definitely a red flag. 

[Darrinmtec]

9 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

All what meetups?

There were only 2. Correct? And you haven't actually met up with her again in weeks now - and the last time she told you all about her ex. 

My guy, this is not a woman with a serious interest in dating you. 

You’re right we haven’t met up again since then we have been planning to but our schedules are very different we haven’t got the chance.  She has been the one initiating I backed off after the second date she has reached out to me with all I mentioned.  This past weekend we were suppose to meet at her place but a medical emergency that she had the doctor told her to rest that day and she said she wasn’t feeling great but we would reschedule for the next day.  The next day she said she still was feeling bad so we canceled again but she said I hope this doesn’t mess with future meetings

[Andrina]

Only attempt dating women whose words plus actions=the same interest you have in her.

You're there for her as a fan and a listening ear. Don't be used liked that. When two people don't have the same relationship goals, it's time to move on.

[shouldhavelearned]

Back off

Keep it all work related

It's okay to be an ear to listen or shoulder to cry on every now and again. Not every time. 

 

[MissCanuck]

8 hours ago, Darrinmtec said:

She has been the one initiating I backed off after the second date she has reached out to me with all I mentioned.

Again, this means very little if she is not following through. 

9 hours ago, Darrinmtec said:

she said that in this time in her life she is looking for solid friends only

Why don't you believe her? Do you think orbiting her will make her change her mind? That doesn't generally work. 

You need to move on and find a woman who is enthusiastic about being with you. This one isn't. 

[Kwothe28]

Quote

Does This Girl Like Me

She likes you. As a friend. You are "friendzoned". Big time.

She literally told you that and that there is nothing there. Women have particular distinction when it comes to potential boyfriends and friends. If they like you they would want to be with you and wouldnt care about some ex. When they dont, you are "friend". Now you may ask why does she keeps you there knowing your intention? As an "orbiter". She likes your attention and she can "offload" about her ex to you. Something btw she would never do if she would even consider you as a "boyfriend material".

Get out of there. There is nothing there for you but misery.

[smackie9]

There's nothing to figure out...she's not interested, and not over her ex...she's damaged goods. Ditch her and move on...she's not GF material.