Need help connecting with a girl

[Rg111]

Hello everyone and thank you in advance for your time. This is the first time I've written here, so I'll try to be clear. 

My situation is as follows: I started college this year, and since it's not near my hometown, I'm living in a community college. A friend of mine is also here, but he is staying in a residence.

The other day I went to his dorm, and when I arrived, a girl came up to us and started talking to me. A little later she invited me to play pool and we hit it off very well from the beginning. I should clarify that my experience with women is nil, so I have never been involved in a similar situation.

The straw that broke the camel's back was the other day when I was leaving class. She goes to the same university but in another group, and my friend and I were waiting for everyone from his residence to leave. When she saw me she waved at me from afar, ran up to me and hugged me. I have nothing that makes me suspect she is trying to take advantage of me: she barely knows anything about me, and from what she told my friend, she is very reserved about relationships. In addition, every time I see her from afar in the halls, she greets me effusively, even shouting my name.

I couldn't say, although it seems a bit hurried to me, that we like each other, but I would like, even if it wasn't asking her out, to at least try to relate more with her, but we hardly ever meet and never alone. I know her Instagram because my friend is in a group with her and others, but I don't know if she'll think it's a little weird that I'm asking to follow her when she didn't give it to me and, I repeat, we've barely spoken since the day we played pool. What would be the right way to deal with this situation?

Again, thank you very much for your answers!

[Wiseman2]

35 minutes ago, Rg111 said:

 . When she saw me she waved at me from afar, ran up to me and hugged me. I have nothing that makes me suspect she is trying to take advantage of me

She seems quite friendly and approachable and into you. What do you mean by "take advantage of you"? 

If you see her around campus or social events be friendly, approachable and start some small talk and conversation. Give her your social media and other contact information and ask her out. 

[Andrina]

Hard to know if her behavior is just because she's an extrovert or if she's into you. It's good that you regularly see her. Next time you see her, have a place in mind, and as an example, say something like: Hey, I'm going to try this pizza place I heard is good on Friday night. Would you like to come with me?

If she says she already has plans, but is into you, she will suggest an alternate date. If she says yes, this gives you some time to get to know one another, either as friends or more. I wouldn't bother with some long, drawn out process of Instagram and connecting on social media as a pathway to closeness, where you're among a group of 200 other people. Cut to the chase and get some one-on-one time. Good luck.

[Rg111]

41 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

She seems quite friendly and approachable and into you. What do you mean by "take advantage of you"? 

If you see her around campus or social events be friendly, approachable and start some small talk and conversation. Give her your social media and other contact information and ask her out. 

The truth is that I don't really know how to express it hahaha. As I said nothing like this has ever happened to me before and I don't know how it works and how to manage it. But the thing is that I'm a pretty introverted person who always talks to the people he knows and I don't know why he has noticed me. From what my friend has told me there was already someone who tried to hit on her, and she just ignored him. Besides, it seems that she doesn't behave like that with almost anyone, and from what he sees of her he was very surprised about the hug. So I don't know if she does it because she somehow likes me or for some other reason that I don't know, although I'd like to go with the former.

 

Also, thank you for your advice. I am trying to go out more often to see her more, but at the moment we could only coincide on Fridays and Saturdays (when she goes out) and by chance, because of the fact that I don't have any contact with her by social media to talk directly. You say I should give her my contact information rather than wait for her to give me hers?

 

Thank you, really, for your response. Right now I don't know what to do or who to talk to about it, so your response is a comfort to me.

[Kwothe28]

I wouldnt do social media. Though I would think she would accept your request on Instagram and that you could "slide into her DMs", because its not that big of a deal as you think it is, its also very generic. She probably gets couple of men a week at least who want to connect in that way. If you see her regularly, I would suggest you do it in person. Say that she seems like a very interesting woman and that you would like to get to know her better. And call her for a food or drink. And see where it leads.

[Rg111]

37 minutes ago, Andrina said:

Hard to know if her behavior is just because she's an extrovert or if she's into you. It's good that you regularly see her. Next time you see her, have a place in mind, and as an example, say something like: Hey, I'm going to try this pizza place I heard is good on Friday night. Would you like to come with me?

If she says she already has plans, but is into you, she will suggest an alternate date. If she says yes, this gives you some time to get to know one another, either as friends or more. I wouldn't bother with some long, drawn out process of Instagram and connecting on social media as a pathway to closeness, where you're among a group of 200 other people. Cut to the chase and get some one-on-one time. Good luck.

My intention was precisely that. I don't like relationships through networks either, and talking through Instagram was an excuse to be able to meet physically. I really like your advice and I think that's what I'm going to try as soon as I see her. The only downside is that when I see her she's never alone, and I'm a little shy about asking her in front of others. Hopefully the others won't mind (after all they are going through the same thing too).

 

Thank you very much for your answer and I will try to put it into practice as soon as possible.

[Rg111]

2 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

I wouldnt do social media. Though I would think she would accept your request on Instagram and that you could "slide into her DMs", because its not that big of a deal as you think it is, its also very generic. She probably gets couple of men a week at least who want to connect in that way. If you see her regularly, I would suggest you do it in person. Say that she seems like a very interesting woman and that you would like to get to know her better. And call her for a food or drink. And see where it leads.

Yes, that's what I plan to do, as Andrina suggested before. About following her on Instagram, what do you think would be better? I know a couple of other people from the residence, should I ask to follow all of them at once? My main problem is that I don't know how she will react if I write her out of the blue, and I wouldn't want her to tell more people because I've been hanging around the residence a lot lately and I wouldn't want the situation to become awkward. Maybe if I ask to follow everyone at once it will go more unnoticed, and from there I could start talking to her little by little to meet the two of us alone.

 

Thank you so much for your reply!

[Kwothe28]

1 minute ago, Rg111 said:

Maybe if I ask to follow everyone at once it will go more unnoticed, and from there I could start talking to her little by little to meet the two of us alone.

I think you are overthinking that. If you want to add her on Instagram, just add her. She wont think its weird, its not really that big of a deal to follow somebody on Instagram or even DM. As Ive said she probably gets lots of those. But think its better to see her and ask her in person. More personal.

[catfeeder]

Next time you see her, approach her, greet her, and ask if she’d like to meet for lunch or dinner tomorrow. Get her phone number.

[shouldhavelearned]

Spot on cat 

[lostandhurt]

If she isn't into you I would be stunned, especially since she does not behave that way with other guys.

You are overthinking this big time.  Stop waiting for her to approach you, it is time you step up and reciprocate so she knows you like her.  When you see her from afar walk right towards her with a smile on your face and when she sees you say "Hi, I was hoping I would see you today"  there may be some chit chat or she may ask you why you were hoping you would see her today.  Either way make a point of saying how much fun you had playing pool with her and want to know if she would like to get a coffee/juice/ice cream/drink or what ever and get to know each other better.

  She seems super friendly and a nice person so no matter answer I am sure she will be nice about it.

 Asking a girl for her number or out on a date is nerve wracking but not fatal.  Don't let it get all up in your head, just go for it before you talk yourself into chickening out and she gets away.

Lost