How young is too young?

[Snowed23]

On 8/31/2023 at 9:58 PM, waffle said:

I like that the H is keeping pix of the young hottie tho.  What's that about?  Is he jealous?

Where did you read that he, my husband, is keeping pics of the young hottie?  I never said that he got any pics of this 23 year old.  Read my other reply to someone else about the pics.  My BIL was sending him pics of escorts years ago when he was still married to his 2nd wife.  Years ago.  BIL has never sent him pics of the new girl, why, because their relationship has been strained for years and they stopped texting.  

[Snowed23]

On 8/31/2023 at 10:21 PM, boltnrun said:

I agree, but I hope he's not preaching from his pulpit to abstain from sex outside of marriage while engaging in it himself. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if he was, but it would be extremely hypocritical.

Here's an update on that.  No, BIL was not in any type of preaching position.  He was a deacon who sat in the pulpit with the pastor every Sun.  Something happened last week and my husband's mom text him to say that their pastor has removed BIL from the deacon's board and told him he can't participate in anything as a deacon.  He's not even allowed to sit with them.  My husband told him this months ago that he has put his entire position in jeopardy by galivanting around and possibly knocking up this 23 year old child.  So what he told him has come true.  He has been removed from office.  

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Snowed23 said:

 knocking up this 23 year old child.  

Why not step away from the situation like your husband has. If you're still upset your husband goes to his mother's house to help her, trashing the brother and his choices won't solve that problem.  

[Jaunty]

Wow.   Do you ever question yourself about your obsession with your husband's family and the minute details of all that goes on in their personal and even financial lives?  It's pretty extreme.  

Do you have a job or interests outside of that family?  Do you and your husband have a personal relationship that is more about the two of you?  

[Tinydance]

21 hours ago, Snowed23 said:

Here's an update on that.  No, BIL was not in any type of preaching position.  He was a deacon who sat in the pulpit with the pastor every Sun.  Something happened last week and my husband's mom text him to say that their pastor has removed BIL from the deacon's board and told him he can't participate in anything as a deacon.  He's not even allowed to sit with them.  My husband told him this months ago that he has put his entire position in jeopardy by galivanting around and possibly knocking up this 23 year old child.  So what he told him has come true.  He has been removed from office.  

I hate to say it but a 23-year-old is actually not a child. They are a legal adult in their mid 20's. I'm sure your BIL has done something to deserve being removed as a deacon. But you can't get into any legal trouble or things like get fired from your job for sleeping with a 23-year-old. So while yes, your BIL is more than double this girl's age, it's not illegal. Also I don't really see how him being with this girl actually affects you. You don't have to be friends with her if you don't want to. And if your husband isn't close to his brother anymore and doesn't even text him then why are you so worked up about all this?

[1a1a]

Rough rule of thumb, if they’re less than half your age plus 7 years they’re too young to date. It happens anyway. The older person should adhere to the campsite rule and leave their younger partner in as good if not better condition when the relationship ends. Alas this rarely happens either and from how you describe him i doubt your BIL will leave this young woman in a better state than he met her. 
 

As for why bother getting to know her? Why not? She’s a person too. Are you blaming the younger one for the inappropriate age gap because out of the two she’s not the one that ought to know better. 
 

As for not being able to interact with people in their early 20s, that’s a shame, i’m sure it keeps you from building relationships with family in that age bracket too.