Does boyfriend really want me?

[123dde]

So ive been dating this guy for like 4 mnths now. Things seemed fine at first but it bothers me that he will tell me how hot other woman are all the time (like looks at the boobs on her but he knows im self confident about mine) and be like i would do her but he doesnt say it to me that im hot or anything will give me a wee wolf whistle when im getting changed but to me thats not the same atol. Now he is saying he thinks we should get another girl in for fun, Says he can have sex with her and kiss her so can i (issue with that is he rarely kisses me apart from a peck) and there isnt any real intimacy with us. He struggles with staying arroused with me so i struggle to see why would he want sex with someone else. Confidence is at an all time low and im feeling like maybe im not worthy. He gets jelous of other men looking at me so i cant see why he acts lile this. Can it maybe be he doesnt fancy me? Is this worth continueing with?

[MissCanuck]

33 minutes ago, 123dde said:

he will tell me how hot other woman are all the time (like looks at the boobs on her but he knows im self confident about mine) and be like i would do her

This is jaw-droppingly disrespectful (and immature) 

34 minutes ago, 123dde said:

Now he is saying he thinks we should get another girl in for fun, Says he can have sex with her and kiss her so can i

This man is not into you. 

34 minutes ago, 123dde said:

He struggles with staying arroused with me

See above. Please, it shouldn't be like this after just 4 months (and never should you tolerate your partner telling you how he would have sex with various hot women) 

35 minutes ago, 123dde said:

Can it maybe be he doesnt fancy me?

Yes, this is it - but he doesn't even have basic respect for you. 

35 minutes ago, 123dde said:

Is this worth continueing with?

Girl. GIRL. What do you think? 

How old are you, and is this your first boyfriend? I am wondering why you tolerate any of this nonsense at all. 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, 123dde said:

. Now he is saying he thinks we should get another girl in for fun, He struggles with staying arroused with me. Confidence is at an all time low 

Sorry this is happening. How old is he? Please reconsider the relationship. There's no reason to put up with disrespect like this from an immature sexually incompetent man.

Maybe he's addicted to porn maybe he's just a humongous jerk. Maybe both. Whatever the case, most men aren't this bad

 

[Kwothe28]

1 hour ago, 123dde said:

Things seemed fine at first but it bothers me that he will tell me how hot other woman are all the time

I have a family friend. She has a boyfriend that she lives with. Anyway, her boyfriend exhibits that kind of behavior. Turns around for the women in the street while they are together and stuff like that. She tolerates it because he pays for everything. They live in his appartment, takes her to dinners, travels etc. While she spends her salary on clothes(she likes to dress fancy). Met the guy, he is what we call "villager". Meaning that he is a simpleton, smug and rude. While her mom loves him a lot(because he is rich), her brother very much doesnt like him because of behavior of his.

Anyway, my friend tolerates that kind of behavior because she has an interest in tolerating it. She nabbed a rich guy, she is quite pretty so he doesnt mind paying for stuff for her etc. But I dunno why you tolerate some idiot who looks at other women, even suggests for you both to have sex with them. He doesnt respect you. And you mistaken his possesivness for some kind of love. Just because he doesnt want somebody else to look at you doesnt mean he loves you. Just means that he doesnt want somebody else to play with his toy. Dont tolerate that kind of behavior.

[smackie9]

This guy is a turd. He's disrespectful towards women, and he doesn't give a rat's butt about anyone but himself. Dump this chump. 

[Cherylyn]

You need a new boyfriend.  In the future,  be with a very moral man who knows how to respect and honor women in particular.  Any other type of man is a pure waste IMHO.

[SooSad33]

Very immature & disrespectful!

Its only been a few months, move on.  Be with someone who does not talk this way to his gf!

 

[shouldhavelearned]

Imagine what he does when you're not around 

[Ocean Turbulence]

Girl, he’s not worthy of you. You don’t feel any intimacy with him, he disrespects you and not values you enough. He’s not worthy enough for you. You shouldn’t tolerate this kind of person.

[123dde]

22 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

This is jaw-droppingly disrespectful (and immature) 

This man is not into you. 

See above. Please, it shouldn't be like this after just 4 months (and never should you tolerate your partner telling you how he would have sex with various hot women) 

Yes, this is it - but he doesn't even have basic respect for you. 

Girl. GIRL. What do you think? 

How old are you, and is this your first boyfriend? I am wondering why you tolerate any of this nonsense at all. 

We are both late 30s, Not my first relationship but other relationships havent been great have lost all confidence in myself and i think this is what he is now playing on. Thank you for reply. 

[MissCanuck]

3 minutes ago, 123dde said:

We are both late 30s

I am genuinely gobsmacked. I thought you and he were possibly in your late teens or early 20s at most. That's the level of immaturity I thought we were looking at here. 

I don't mean to be unkind, but you are both far too old for this behaviour: he is plain gross, and you sadly have little self-worth to even still be dating this clown. 

If this is not unusual for your relationships, I suggest you take time off dating to work on your self-esteem and boundaries. You're really going after the wrong type of man and they will smell your vulnerability coming, just as this one has. 

[smackie9]

7 hours ago, 123dde said:

We are both late 30s, Not my first relationship but other relationships havent been great have lost all confidence in myself and i think this is what he is now playing on. Thank you for reply. 

It's the guys you are choosing to date. There are decent guys out there trust me. Maybe take time off from dating and work on yourself. When you have a fulfilling life, positive attitude, self worth, you attract better quality men.