Ex's Friend Birthday it's coming... Damn.

[RoseInConstruction]

I have to give a little context. I had a best friend for a year, but he kissed me like 4 months ago, was a very passionate moment... I always felt things for him and with that kiss I got excited. But then, 2 weeks later he started dating with someone else. I decided to talk to him about the situation but he ignored me, so I never talked to him again. Then, one day we casually meet on a brigde and he told me that he was angry because a took distance, he said that he was sad but that he never wrote me because of his pride... I couldn't understand how he was saying that after he broke my heart. I told him everything that I was feeling and my expectations after that kiss, the way that saw him with other girl hurts me and all the pain that I was living, but he only blamed me and wasn't empathic (The story more complete it's in another post in my profile). The days passed, sometimes we talked and recently he told me that all his life broke in pieces. He lost his job, broke up with that girl, he's very sick and alone. And there you got me telling him things to make him feel better, knowing that I'm having hard months because of him, I'm so stupid. Now, the situation is that I don't feel valued, I don't deserve that way he treats me and it's tough know that he takes more care about how that girl is feeling than me, the friend that was with him for so much time. He's birthday it's on 2 weeks and I don't know that to do, neither that day, nor with him hahaha. For my birthday he invited me to an amusement park but the context was different. ¿What do you think? ¿What would you do? 

[Wiseman2]

Send a happy birthday text and leave it at that unless you are hoping to rekindle the FWB situation.

[catfeeder]

I’d just leave a happy birthday on his social media with everyone else and avoid him. He is not going to suddenly decide that you are the love of his life, and by sinking your focus into him, you are depriving yourself of a clean healing and the potential to find real love and happiness with someone else.

Head high and respect yourself.

[smackie9]

Wow Guuuurrrrl this dude is a manipulative user. In no way are you obligated to wish him a happy birthday. He deserves nothing from you. Write him off. 

[Kwothe28]

You should just implement Tobey Spiderman meme in real life

You are friendzoned. That means that you for him dont exist in a romantic sense. He doesnt see you in that way even with a binoculars. You are a woman so you maybe got few hot moments every now and then or maybe even sex(male counterparts rarely get that) but other then that, you dont exist to him. He only complains to you because he knows that you will listen and make him feel better. Other then that, he doesnt care about you or your feelings. He cares about the other woman because she, unlike you, exists to him as a girlfriend material.

So again, implement a meme. Its really not your problem that he lost his job or his girlfriend. Especially after how he treated you. You are not his friend, you have a feelings for him. And he is certanly not your friend in the way he treated you. So just wish him a happy birthday and move on with your life.

[Andrina]

3 hours ago, RoseInConstruction said:

but he only blamed me and wasn't empathic

Why would you want someone in your life who treats you like that? If you have a younger sister or niece, or imagine having one, would you tell them: Oh, the poor guy. You really need to make sure you send him a nice b-day message and listen to his woes whenever he needs to vent.

You're not practicing self-love. He kissed you without thinking about how you might take it more seriously than him, and you both crossed a line whereas you can't just go back to being friends. Because no other man will date you when you're communicating with a guy you kissed and wanted a relationship with.

Go no contact. If you don't think you deserve better than someone who makes you feel unvalued, that's on you to correct. You can't complain when you're allowing yourself to be treated this way. You have two feet, so walk away.

[shouldhavelearned]

At this point just acknowledge his day in the friendliest/easiest way possible.

 

Could be social media or a .99 birthday card. Nothing fancy and nothing even close to suggestive 

[Cherylyn]

Ghost,  block and delete.  He's not worth it.  ☹️