RoseInConstruction

I have to give a little context. I had a best friend for a year, but he kissed me like 4 months ago, was a very passionate moment... I always felt things for him and with that kiss I got excited. But then, 2 weeks later he started dating with someone else. I decided to talk to him about the situation but he ignored me, so I never talked to him again. Then, one day we casually meet on a brigde and he told me that he was angry because a took distance, he said that he was sad but that he never wrote me because of his pride... I couldn't understand how he was saying that after he broke my heart. I told him everything that I was feeling and my expectations after that kiss, the way that saw him with other girl hurts me and all the pain that I was living, but he only blamed me and wasn't empathic (The story more complete it's in another post in my profile). The days passed, sometimes we talked and recently he told me that all his life broke in pieces. He lost his job, broke up with that girl, he's very sick and alone. And there you got me telling him things to make him feel better, knowing that I'm having hard months because of him, I'm so stupid. Now, the situation is that I don't feel valued, I don't deserve that way he treats me and it's tough know that he takes more care about how that girl is feeling than me, the friend that was with him for so much time. He's birthday it's on 2 weeks and I don't know that to do, neither that day, nor with him hahaha. For my birthday he invited me to an amusement park but the context was different. ¿What do you think? ¿What would you do?

Well. I found this guy the last year and since the moment a saw him, I want him to be part of my life, at the moment I just wanted a know him more and make a friendship, but I always like him. For 7 months we have a beautiful friendship, we made plans to many places, had loong calls till midnight, we had a great conection and I, stupidly, thought that maybe he feels something for me as I do. However, once we discuss and he said that he didn't like somebody, so I accept that and decided to keep the friendship. 4 months ago, we were in his home watching a movie, I'd bought ice cream and we were lay on the bed. Suddenly, he kissed me. Then I kissed him too, was a beautiful moment, but after that day, the didn't write me for a week. A month passed and we talked about what happen, he said that was something for a moment and nothing more, that he didn't want a relationship at that moment. At the next day, I was cooking in his place and, again, we kissed and almost had intimacy. After that, we talked about that and he said that was a beautiful moment but, again, he wasn't ready for a relationship. I trust him but then he took distance from me, and after 2 weeks he told me he was dating with someone. I never admit that I like him because I was worry about losing the friendship, but after he told me that, I decided to tell him the truth. The day that I was going to tell him and told me to call me after his work, but he never did it. Then I watched him holding hands with another girl... My heart and soul breaks in a thousand parts. I gave him a letter where I told what I was feeling and decide to no talk to him more. Then I knew that that week, he was sleeping with that girl in his house. A month passed and he never wrote me, then we casually met and he told me that he was angry with me because I left him. I did that because I feel betrayed, how we had that moment that feels with so much love, and in less than a month he was already with someone else. I was waiting him to come back telling me that he was sorry, or asking why I was angry, but never did it and he said that it was because he's prideful. Now, he want to build again the friendship but he still sleeping with that girl. For me it isn't easy and even more when I tell him all the feelings that I have, and all the pain that I have been feeling, and he didn't care and said only that was my fault to think that what happen was more than just a moment. So, what must I do? I feel rage and can't stop thinking about him with that new girl doing the things that he did with me.