I’m gay, but I don’t think I can love a man.

[Mozzarella_Stick]

So I’m 21 and I am gay. I have no attraction to women whatsoever, but I was thinking about it earlier tonight and I realized that every single guy, every last one of them, that I’ve ever liked, is a total douchebag, proud ones at that. 

From reading online and hearing other people’s experiences, it seems every man is a douchebag in one way or another. It’s actually made me feel nothing but hate towards them thinking about it in retrospective. 
 

A lot of women aren’t nice people, sure, but a lot of them are. I don’t think I believe in a nice man, being gay doesn’t make them any less worse than straight men. 
 

I was thinking about it and I seriously want to try dating women. I’m not afraid of being hurt emotionally/physically like I am with men. I’ve seriously decided that I don’t like men. I might like their sex and I might like their money but I seriously don’t think I can love one. 
 

I’m not trolling and I seriously feel like I’ve made a realization, though I’m not sure how to process it. Any advice? 

[MissCanuck]

You're really young, OP. Your inexperience is speaking here. 

That's not to say your experience with d-bags is invalid. However, it also means you have yet to really experience what the world of dating has to offer. Surely you realize that sweeping generalizations reflect a very limited worldview. There are plenty of lovely men out there, of all orientations. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face, here. 

Also, dating women when you aren't attracted to them is not fair to the women. Please don't do that. 

[Coily]

5 hours ago, Mozzarella_Stick said:

...and I might like their money but I seriously don’t think I can love one. 

 

That's a yikes for anyone you could date.

Overall, if you have these attitudes it may be worth looking inward for answers. If everyone you have been into, may be a reflection of who you seek rather than the general populace.

[SherrySher]

6 hours ago, Mozzarella_Stick said:

So I’m 21 and I am gay. I have no attraction to women whatsoever, but I was thinking about it earlier tonight and I realized that every single guy, every last one of them, that I’ve ever liked, is a total douchebag, proud ones at that. 

From reading online and hearing other people’s experiences, it seems every man is a douchebag in one way or another. It’s actually made me feel nothing but hate towards them thinking about it in retrospective. 
 

A lot of women aren’t nice people, sure, but a lot of them are. I don’t think I believe in a nice man, being gay doesn’t make them any less worse than straight men. 
 

I was thinking about it and I seriously want to try dating women. I’m not afraid of being hurt emotionally/physically like I am with men. I’ve seriously decided that I don’t like men. I might like their sex and I might like their money but I seriously don’t think I can love one. 
 

I’m not trolling and I seriously feel like I’ve made a realization, though I’m not sure how to process it. Any advice? 

You are meeting the wrong type of men.

Are all men douche bags? Absolutely, 100%...not.

There are a lot of good men out there. A lot who are genuine, good hearted, decent, respectful, kind.

It sounds as though you have run into a lot of bad ones, but it doesn't mean there aren't any good ones.

Keep in mind that people are human, that means that whether a man, or women, we are all flawed.

There is going to be something flawed about every single person you come across.

Some people are worse than others, but there are a lot of good people in this world.

It can be more difficult to find someone you're compatible with when dating, but it doesn't mean it's impossible.

Why not just give dating a rest for the time being? Because feeling like you have to have someone, anyone, even someone you're not really attracted to, just to have someone...is not the best idea.

Wait until you're ready to date again, and have more patience for finding someone worth dating who is more of what you're hoping to find.

[itsallgrand]

2 hours ago, Coily said:

That's a yikes for anyone you could date.

Overall, if you have these attitudes it may be worth looking inward for answers. If everyone you have been into, may be a reflection of who you seek rather than the general populace.

Yes, what the heck dude?

Of course you will find douchebags if you are going after guys for the money in their pocket.

 

[Mozzarella_Stick]

8 minutes ago, itsallgrand said:

Yes, what the heck dude?

Of course you will find douchebags if you are going after guys for the money in their pocket.

 

It’s not wrong to want a rich man. If it’s the only reason you like them, then yes, that’s probably wrong, but as I’m getting older I’m seeing that’s all men are good for relationship wise in the first place. 

[itsallgrand]

8 minutes ago, Mozzarella_Stick said:

It’s not wrong to want a rich man. If it’s the only reason you like them, then yes, that’s probably wrong, but as I’m getting older I’m seeing that’s all men are good for relationship wise in the first place. 

Sorry to say this Mr. Mozzarella but you are behaving like a douche yourself. 

I really hope it's just a phase and you don't let these beliefs get entrenched.

Is this coming from a really bad experience you've had? 

[Batya33]

13 minutes ago, Mozzarella_Stick said:

It’s not wrong to want a rich man. If it’s the only reason you like them, then yes, that’s probably wrong, but as I’m getting older I’m seeing that’s all men are good for relationship wise in the first place. 

Agree with Itsallgrand.  Novel thought -you want to be rich? Go out and work and make/save your own $.

[Coily]

13 minutes ago, Mozzarella_Stick said:

It’s not wrong to want a rich man. If it’s the only reason you like them, then yes, that’s probably wrong, but as I’m getting older I’m seeing that’s all men are good for relationship wise in the first place. 

A prospector I see?

With that mindset you have set yourself up for a very specific kind of personality, typically a douche.

Probably time to re-evaluate what you bring to the table.

[Batya33]

Oh and I'll go out on a limb -I think it is wrong to look for a rich person when looking for a partner.  Similar financial values -sure.  Financial stability -sure.  Depends also what you bring to the table as far as assets.  And of course rich people can lose all their $ depending on their career/financial values/illness - and then what.  And rich people can require a prenup.  

[MrMan1983]

44 minutes ago, Mozzarella_Stick said:

as I’m getting older

You're 21, you were a teenager only two years ago. Plenty of nice people out there of both sexes if you're looking in the right places and for the right values.

[ConfusedGayDude]

Please believe me, I have been in the same boat before I even went so far as to sleep with a woman not just date her and believe me, it does not fill the void. If you are gay, truly gay, but lonely dating, a woman will not solve it in my opinion at least I wish you the best of luck. I’m trying to find love myself always

[MissCanuck]

1 hour ago, Mozzarella_Stick said:

but as I’m getting older I’m seeing that’s all men are good for relationship wise in the first place. 

Son, you were a minor 4 years ago. 

Maybe check yourself before making absurd generalizations when you don't have the life experience to back it up yet. 

[ConfusedGayDude]

Although that’s true… sorry it comes off a bit harsh just saying (replying to the person saying you’re too young to know)

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, Mozzarella_Stick said:

  I don’t like men. I might like their sex and I might like their money . I'm not trolling 

If this post is real as you say, try to get into counseling especially LGBT specific counseling.

You're all over the map from being in love with your straight male cousin to, wanting to be a male prostitute, to pretending you're bi so you can date women because you hate men.

. It's fine to be confused but don't damage other people in your hurricane of confusion.

[Mozzarella_Stick]

17 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

If this post is real as you say, try to get into counseling especially LGBT specific counseling.

You're all over the map from being in love with your straight male cousin to, wanting to be a male prostitute, to pretending you're bi so you can date women because you hate men.

. It's fine to be confused but don't damage other people in your hurricane of confusion.

I’m sorry? I’ve never been in love with a family member, I’ve never considered prostitution, having a sugar daddy/rich husband is not prostitution, and I DO hate men. Where are you getting this information from? Homophobic stereotypes?

 

1 hour ago, itsallgrand said:

Sorry to say this Mr. Mozzarella but you are behaving like a douche yourself. 

I really hope it's just a phase and you don't let these beliefs get entrenched.

Is this coming from a really bad experience you've had? 

Multiple and multiple bad experiences. Even if I hadn’t experienced them myself, the warning signs from women and even other gay men are telling enough. 

[Wiseman2]

15 minutes ago, Mozzarella_Stick said:

 Where are you getting this information from? 

Sorry, my mistake.  Another poster on your thread claimed all these things but presented it as if this were his thread . If it was someone else I was responding to please disregard.

[itsallgrand]

5 hours ago, Mozzarella_Stick said:

Multiple and multiple bad experiences. Even if I hadn’t experienced them myself, the warning signs from women and even other gay men are telling enough. 

What happened? 

[smackie9]

This is how you learn to stop dealing with the dbags, by experience. Yes it's a bumpy road...it is like that for everyone that came before you and will after you. It's just part of life. The harder the life's lessons are, the more knowledge you bring, the better off you will be. Knowledge is power. Dbags follow a pattern, you will figure it out, and be better for it. You expectations about dating were too high. It's challenging but your goal will not be impossible to reach. You just keep trying, and be more wiser in your choices.