ConfusedGayDude

I am in such a situation I just can’t even begin to explain… I have posted something already about one of my issues so I won’t go into that and length here and now … but it’s not just that issue. It’s also the issue of being completely alone for months and months at a time staring at the same four walls, not leaving the house because I have agoraphobia any local friends that I had near me which were only two both died last year. I am now completely alone in the city. And I don’t mean to sound all woa is me many people have it much worse. I am blessed to be on disability for my issues so I have a roof over my head and I have food. I don’t have much of an income but it’s enough to keep me going daily and for that I’m extremely grateful, I do the whole therapy and medication thing but that only goes so far you know? When does it become enough? How much loneliness can one person take? Do we have the right to say it’s time to walk away from life? I feel in many ways that every human has that fundamental right and it should not be taken away from them but if they want to end their life, they should be able to. I do not want to end my life , but I also feel like I do not feel any for seeable future where this daily turmoil and depression will change will ever get better?

I do not mean to be insensitive by any means, but this reply is completely true. This does a disservice to real abuse victims. Please be aware of that that being said, my heart does go out for you because I know how hard it is to let someone go, but sometimes the best thing is to walk away as hard as that is if you ever need to talk I’m here take care

Thank you so much for replying that means a lot. I feel twisted and perverted I know and I feel like this is the only platform that I can actually vent these feelings on because they’re not normal feelings and I feel ashamed for them in Waze and other ways I don’t it’s so confusing, I don’t know what to do. I’m so very alone. Thank you for reaching out and replying so far you’re the only one, but I mean so much it really really does and I live alone I have agoraphobia I don’t leave the house often at all I really can’t hardly but maybe see you this site. I can finally get some advice from people let’s hope thank you again

My heart breaks for you I too grew up with very very traumatic events regarding my parents that story is for another day. I don’t need to burden you with it. I just know that my heart is with you and part of me wants to say, and please don’t be mad for this but part of me wants to remind you that mental illness is a huge real struggle. I suffer from many issues myself and I’m in therapy and in medication and if your mom suffers from mental illness part of me wants to remind you even if it’s hard that you need to keep that in the back of your mind that the cruel treatment may not be all your mother, but the disease in her brain as well, so don’t take it entirely completely to personally if you can in anyway, OK? Because speaking from personal real experience, I can tell you that being a person with mental illness as well as growing up with parents with mental illness. Also, they’re still a part of that parent inside of them that really does. love you even if it doesn’t come out so don’t ever forget that but ask for some of the other postings they’re right as hard as it is distance will help but don’t give up completely OK? I’ll always be here if you need to talk even though you don’t know me take care.

Although that’s true… sorry it comes off a bit harsh just saying (replying to the person saying you’re too young to know)

It is always important to remember that anything that goes on the Internet is on there forever so I don’t mean to go off your topic I think replying to your topic? My answer is I also would ponder the idea of an NDA because you never know right? And you want to protect yourself and that’s smart and if you got famous are in the public spotlight, at least it never hurts to protect oneself because like I said, people can look almost anything up on the Internet even if it’s nothing that was posted on the Internet somebody somewhere may I hear some thing and then post it or repeat it or what have you and then you may never live it down so this is a very good question you ask I’d be interested to see other peoples, viewpoints and responses

Please believe me, I have been in the same boat before I even went so far as to sleep with a woman not just date her and believe me, it does not fill the void. If you are gay, truly gay, but lonely dating, a woman will not solve it in my opinion at least I wish you the best of luck. I’m trying to find love myself always

I am gay my cousin is straight. He is totally fine with that. The problem is that I am extremely attracted to him, and I feel that he knows this when we hang out, we always play flirt, but when it gets to a certain point, he always just says things like it’s a shame you’re my cousin haha so it plays with my head, you know? Even though he’s straight, I know he would be very open to experimentation with the right guy from conversations we have had but I worry that the stigma of two cousins first cousins at that would not fly. Call me perverted. If you will I won’t judge, but I would go for it. I would give it a shot. I really would. You only live one life and it’s not like we can procreate so we wouldn’t have deformed Babies, but I worry that he would be so grossed out. He may never talk to me again, even though he blatantly flirts back all the time when we’re together, I mean we’ve jerked off together in the same room, but not touched each other and completely comfortable with that he is as well. He’s even said that so it makes me wonder and ponder, but I just don’t know what to do and if I should finally tell him I feel.