Am I abused? Indeed cursed!

[cursed dude]

So I've got a question, and it's really silly, sorry.
I'm really interested in a woman(she's a PhD student) and we are in a long-distance. She always reach to me whenever she needs some computer help, and tend not to talk to me at all. Recently she came with a shocking news that she lost her virginity(actually defloration), and she doesn't need any man in her life anymore, and actually asked for another help. What does it mean? I think it means she just finds me as a free help/support guy

I've helped her before already several times, and also expressed my feeling about her too. We were bf/gf before we broke for some silly stuff, and she could find a PhD position, now we are in a long-distance. I've tried my best to keep her happy, smiling, and rolling, and she approves it.

At the moment we started chatting online together, things were good(she still used to ask for help), but as time passed, she became less and less interested in me.

I'm not sure if she's with another guy, and I'm just wonder if I've been being abused, like free pc support, etc... need help! I don't have any friend to ask, and chatgpt didn't help much too. Thanks.

[Wiseman2]

15 minutes ago, cursed dude said:

. We were bf/gf before we broke for some silly stuff, and she could find a PhD position, now we are in a long-distance. 

You're not being "abused" . You're pursuing what you thought was a long distance relationship, even though you broke up.  You already know you're in the friendzone, so don't bother with her anymore.

Set yourself free. Tell her it's not working out then delete and block her from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

You don't need chatgpt, you need to get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to real life women and start meeting and dating local interested women.

Talking to chatbots and long distance women who friendzoned you long ago is a waste of your time. 

[cursed dude]

12 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Talking to chatbots and long distance women who friendzoned you long ago is a waste of your time. 

I think yes, you are right. I'm such an idiot. I just did that, and I'm going stay single for a while and keep studying and advancing in my life.

Thank you so much.

Math and science bless us all

[Kwothe28]

9 hours ago, cursed dude said:

Recently she came with a shocking news that she lost her virginity(actually defloration), and she doesn't need any man in her life anymore

Unless she became a lesbian, that is not how it goes. That is not how any of it goes lol

What do you mean "asked for help"? Financially? If so, yes, you are being "USED" there.

[MissCanuck]

8 hours ago, cursed dude said:

I'm just wonder if I've been being abused

Absolutely not. To try to frame any of this as abuse does a disservice to real abuse victims. 

You need to let go of her. You are not together anymore and it's time you stop offering your support or advice.

[cursed dude]

8 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

What do you mean "asked for help"? Financially? If so, yes, you are being "USED" there.

Mostly "fix my computer nerd" requests, not financially

[cursed dude]

7 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

You need to let go of her. You are not together anymore and it's time you stop offering your support or advice.

That's it, thanks

[ConfusedGayDude]

On 6/25/2023 at 6:15 AM, MissCanuck said:

Absolutely not. To try to frame any of this as abuse does a disservice to real abuse victims. 

You need to let go of her. You are not together anymore and it's time you stop offering your support or advice.

I do not mean to be insensitive by any means, but this reply is completely true. This does a disservice to real abuse victims. Please be aware of that that being said, my heart does go out for you because I know how hard it is to let someone go, but sometimes the best thing is to walk away as hard as that is if you ever need to talk I’m here take care 

[cursed dude]

On 6/27/2023 at 1:22 PM, ConfusedGayDude said:

I do not mean to be insensitive by any means, but this reply is completely true. This does a disservice to real abuse victims. Please be aware of that that being said, my heart does go out for you because I know how hard it is to let someone go, but sometimes the best thing is to walk away as hard as that is if you ever need to talk I’m here take care 

Thanks, actually I got used to it. Thanks to math, and science, as I'm deadly busy studying and enjoying them. I might miss her later, but for now, I'm doing good, and I prefer stay single for a notable time because it worth.
Thank you all wonderful legendarily human. Science bless us all!

[Andrina]

Using such a negative moniker as cursed dude is gearing yourself toward a self-fulfilling prophecy. Self-talk is very important and you're doing yourself a great disservice if much of the reel going on in your brain is negative about your worth.

Could be why you're in the predicament you're in. If you lack confidence, you will only attract predators and users.

Yes, you plan of concentrating on your studies is a good one. However, you say you have no friends. It's always good to have a support system, and to enjoy the company of your peers. Plus a future partner will be scared off if she's the only source of your social world. How about joining a college club in an area that interests you? I was a member of the ski club when I was in college, and met friends and went on fun skiing trips.

Good luck.

[cursed dude]

On 6/28/2023 at 6:45 PM, Andrina said:

Using such a negative moniker as cursed dude is gearing yourself toward a self-fulfilling prophecy. Self-talk is very important and you're doing yourself a great disservice if much of the reel going on in your brain is negative about your worth.

Could be why you're in the predicament you're in. If you lack confidence, you will only attract predators and users.

Yes, you plan of concentrating on your studies is a good one. However, you say you have no friends. It's always good to have a support system, and to enjoy the company of your peers. Plus a future partner will be scared off if she's the only source of your social world. How about joining a college club in an area that interests you? I was a member of the ski club when I was in college, and met friends and went on fun skiing trips.

Good luck.

Yes, I understand what you mean. Actually I have good connections, but most of them just contact me whenever they need some kind of help, and it's mostly because I'm kind of a nerd bastard, and an introvert, so it's accepted if people find me boring, no problem. I've accepted that.

 

Yes, I'm actually in talk to start a small project in college, build a team of dudes who are close-minded to me, so we can just start building great stuff, and support each other if we can.

Thank you very much for your advice, math bless you

[cursed dude]

So here is an update. So she recently reached out(around 1 month later), and asked for another favor, and actually I didn't rejected that, but told her since hers birthday is near, I would help her with that(as a birthday gift), but then she suddenly got mad, and asked why I turned formal to her.

I just stated hers statement that she said "I don't need any man anymore", and as I'm a guy, so that's why,  then she replied that I judged her(I really didn't, and actually said I'm sorry for misunderstanding), as she meant "not having sex with men" by that sentence. IDK what does it mean.

Since she's a student, I've never ever tried to distract her(taking any time of her), and I have always been supporting and encouraging her.

I really don't like to hurt people, and I'm kind of sure she finds me really boring, but handy nerd maybe. Any idea about that?

[MissCanuck]

It doesn't sound like a mutually-enjoyable friendship. 

Stop doing her favours. Let this person fade out of your life. 

[cursed dude]

14 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

It doesn't sound like a mutually-enjoyable friendship. 

Stop doing her favours. Let this person fade out of your life. 

Sure thing. I'm happy that in recent month I could manage it, and I didn't spend 1 min for her. It seems she could fix hers problem this round, and IDK, probably she will get in touch later or sooner for another thing.

Thank you so much! Science Bless us All