Was she just being nice or...

[Sindy_0311]

6 hours ago, TheLambOfDeth said:

if I texted her to let me take her out or let me take her to dinner and actually go on a date? I'd be ghosted and never hear from her again...

I think she knows perfectly she’s going on a DATE with you. Call it what you want but a guy wanting to hang out alone with a woman is usually perceived as a date by women… 

[rainbowsandroses]

Playing devils advocate, to the ladies participating on this thread. 

If you had invited a man out with a specific plan, gave him two days to choose (Wed/Thursday), he replied saying he has to check his schedule and would get back to you. 

BUT then did NOT reply back until one week later saying he was free the following day, a Sunday (the day of rest for many of us), with heart emoji's, how would you feel?

Really think about this.  For me, I'd interpret as low interest.  And waited to reply to assure no better options presented itself.  The heart emoji's as BS, I certainly wouid NOT take them seriously. 

I've read countless threads on various forums with this exact scenario.  And the general consensus was the guy was a player, a "waste of time," no interested person (friend or otherwise) waits an entire week to know their schedule and then replies with a one-day notice. 

Is it different because the roles are flipped?  And because men are the natural hunters/chasers? So they should tolerate such low interest, frankly rude (imo) behavior from women? 

These are not rhetorical questions, I am sincerely interested in knowing the answers.  To me, it seems there are two sets of behavior, one for women, one for men. 

It's OK for a woman to stall, avoid, even flake but NOT OK when a man does, otherwise he's deemed a player and a waste of time. 

Again, just how I'm seeing this, I could be wrong and my thinking is off?  Frankly I hope so because I find this thread unsettling.

These are red flags and it's important to pay attention to them.  If we don't, we risk getting out hearts ripped to shreds later.  

It's happened to me!!  I ignored, gave benefit of doubt, and went full steam ahead.  

Doesn't matter the gender, both women and men need to be prudent in today's dating environment, it's all changed since the birth of dating apps and sites and articles/books/videos by so-called dating gurus on how to "play the game."

Just my .$02 fwiw.

Best of luck @TheLambOfDethwhatever you decide. 

 

[Batya33]

1 minute ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Playing devils advocate, to the ladies participating on this thread. 

If you had invited a man out with a specific plan, gave him two days to choose (Wed/Thursday), he replied saying he has to check his schedule and would get back to you. 

BUT then did NOT reply back until one week later saying he was free the following day, a Sunday (the day of rest for many of us), with heart emoji's, how would you feel?

Really think about this.  For me, I'd interpret as low interest.  And waited to reply to assure no better options presented itself.  The heart emoji's as BS, I certainly wouid NOT take them seriously. 

I've read countless threads on various forums with this exact scenario.  And the general consensus was the guy was a player, a "waste of time," no interested person (friend or otherwise) waits an entire week to know their schedule and then replies with a one-day notice. 

Is it different because the roles are flipped?  And because men are the natural hunters/chasers? So they should tolerate such low interest, frankly rude (imo) behavior from women? 

These are not rhetorical questions, I am sincerely interested in knowing the answers.  To me, it seems there are two sets of behavior, one for women, one for men. 

It's OK for a woman to stall, avoid, even flake but NOT OK when a man does, otherwise he's deemed a player and a waste of time. 

Again, just how I'm seeing this, I could be wrong and my thinking is off?  Frankly I hope so because I find this thread unsettling.

These are red flags and it's important to pay attention to them.  If we don't, we risk getting out hearts ripped to shreds later.  

It's happened to me!!  I ignored, gave benefit of doubt, and went full steam ahead.  

Doesn't matter the gender, both women and men need to be prudent in today's dating environment l, it's all changed since the birth of dating apps and sites.

Just my .$02 fwiw.

Best of luck @TheLambOfDethwhatever you decide. 

 

As you know they weren’t planning a date and he flaked on her too. To me nothing to do with gender at all. 

[Batya33]

11 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

I think she knows perfectly she’s going on a DATE with you. Call it what you want but a guy wanting to hang out alone with a woman is usually perceived as a date by women… 

Not to me. I met up with men as friends many times. And they work together. I met up with coworkers for lunch or social and it wasn’t a date. 

[rainbowsandroses]

3 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

As you know they weren’t planning a date and he flaked on her too. 

Did he actually flake?  I don't recall that, I may have missed.

In any event, two wrongs don't make a right. 

[Sindy_0311]

17 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Not to me. I met up with men as friends many times. And they work together. I met up with coworkers for lunch or social and it wasn’t a date. 

Just based on my experience. I have been going out with friends or coworkers but at some point, even if not the first day, there was some more expectation from their part. Even one of my best friends, coworker at that time, confessed after 6 month he wasn’t viewing me as just a friend. Which was weird to me. I don’t have many male friends. The only ones I have are ex boyfriends turned into friendship or guys I hang out with occasionally in group settings or my girlfriends husbands… I don’t really believe in male/female friendship. But this is just my opinion. 

[boltnrun]

I have male friends. They don't want to have sex with me and I don't want to have sex with them. We aren't exes. We just hit it off for whatever reason. And we have great times hanging out and doing things that friends normally do. Like going for coffee. 

[rainbowsandroses]

3 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Just based on my experience. I have been going out with friends or coworkers but at some point, even if not the first day, there was some more expectation from their part. Even one of my best friends, coworker at that time, confessed after 6 month he wasn’t viewing me as just a friend. Which was weird to me. I don’t have many male friends. The only ones I have are ex boyfriends turned into friendship or guys I hang out with occasionally in group settings or my girlfriends husbands… I don’t really believe in male/female friendship. But this is just my opinion. 

Agree @Sindy_0311I just re-reread their text message exchange posted several pages back, wherein he asked her out with a plan, and two dates to choose (Wed and Thursday). 

If me (as a woman) I would have definitely interpreted that as a "date." 

[Sindy_0311]

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

I have male friends. They don't want to have sex with me and I don't want to have sex with them. We aren't exes. We just hit it off for whatever reason. And we have great times hanging out and doing things that friends normally do. Like going for coffee. 

I’m just curious… are these men married? Or older/younger than you? When I was young and single I used to have a friend, he was older, and more like a mentor with spiritual connection but even there, there was ambiguity as he never told his wife that we were seeing each other for coffee sometimes. See i might be old fashioned in a sense, but I never saw my mom, my sister or any of my married girlfriends having such male friends. Even my ex husband wouldn’t have accepted me to go out for coffee with a man if he wasn’t a coworker or if it wasn’t in a group setting…

[TheLambOfDeth]

1 hour ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Did he actually flake?  I don't recall that, I may have missed.

In any event, two wrongs don't make a right. 

I did not ever flake on her, nor have i ever said so in this thread. I never agreed to do something with her, and then not do so. Due to the...nature of this thread, please don't believe I've done something, unless I've confirmed so.

[rainbowsandroses]

6 minutes ago, TheLambOfDeth said:

Due to the...nature of this thread, please don't believe I've done something, unless I've confirmed so.

Since you quoted my post, I will respond.  

I never thought you flaked, my read on it was just as you said. 

My response was to what Batya posted. 

[TheLambOfDeth]

8 hours ago, Sindy_0311 said:

I see nothing wrong in this woman’s behavior. She replied, with orange hearts because she isn’t your girlfriend yet. It’s like sending 😚 instead of 😘 when you start to date someone… nothing wrong with her contacting you one week later. I often have to wait one to two weeks to be free and ready to plan a date. She might be not romantically interested in you yet but if you don’t give it a chance you will never know what will happen. It’s sometimes easier to retreat and not take the risk… (what do you have to loose? Your comfort?) 

That means nothing, though. I've had a woman send me a heart after like every message and she ultimately ghosted me out of nowhere. And maybe there's nothing wrong TO YOU about her contacting you a week later. It's funny, bc I can guarantee all the people saying "So what she doesn't value your time and is continually demonstrating low interest!" if someone did that to them, they would be calling the other person toxic and not respecting their time, but for someone reason everyone wants to give this random woman a pass. I've already given her a chance...twice and the first time she "had" to reschedule and then I had to wait a week to get an answer. It's really...weird that everyone is empathizing with her just don't water, yet I'm in the wrong for expecting human decency. Just weird.

8 hours ago, Sindy_0311 said:

you say you are ugly and don’t get many matches on dating apps, believe me, there are tons of average looking guys who don’t get matches either… might just be that you are not photogenic. No big deal. I used to like profiles without really liking the photos, because I found something interesting in their profile details. And when I met them I was sometime positively surprised. Also have to say that men often look better for real than on the pictures they post… (which I assume isn’t always the case for ladies… way to much filters) If you have great posture, good style, then there is not reason no one would be interested in dating you…

IMHO you should have replied and accepted to see her sunday (today?) whatever plans you had… too bad… did you at least reply? 

Nope, I'm ugly and do not many matches, I get NO matches...not on a single dating app And those average-looking guys may not get tons of matches, or the perfect matches, but they still get SOME matches. They can still get dates there. Hell, many threads on here demonstrate that.  But lol at that "no big deal". Yes, not being able to get a date or ever find a partner bc I'm too ugly, and the VAST majority of women these days prefer OLD sites...ah yes..no biggie lol. And yeah...this isn't the 70s or 80s anymore. Good posture and style aren't enough to get a date...that's not even enough to get a conversation these days. Women can go one SM or OLD sites and find their perfect man in every metric...you need far more than style or posture to even have a remote chance lol.

 

8 hours ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Don’t you think that you just don’t fit to online dating? Because it’s all based on apparences. As you are someone “different” I suggest you stick to meeting people in real life were you can let your charisma, style and posture speak for you. You just have to create your own culture and do what’s best for you which is the best way to attract interesting people. Unsubscribe from dating apps and putt your energy elsewhere if it’s not working for you. I’ve know a black man who had a skin condition. He had a profile on dating apps but never got any date. But this guy was sexy as hell and had any woman he wanted in real life (including me LOL) so please don’t let your lack of success in online dating define your attractiveness… 

Meeting women irl is no easier. In fact, its even worse. On OLD sites you know the women there are looking to date, that they're attracted and interested if they're talking to you, you already know you have things in common, and you get to talk before meeting. Therocially OLD is much better to introverts, it just sux you have to look like Robert Pattinson to use it now. Bc of first-world feminism and the like, you're deemed rude or "creepy" if you approach women and don't meet a certain looks threshold. There are no real acceptable venues to socially meet women these days. bc most women just prefer the leisure and luxury of using OLD and don't want to be bothered by random, strange men unless they're exceptional. It's just logistics.

Quote

I think she knows perfectly she’s going on a DATE with you. Call it what you want but a guy wanting to hang out alone with a woman is usually perceived as a date by women… 

No, you're projecting. There's no flirting or any sexual or suggestive interactions, hints of subtext between us. Neither party has no merit to assume it's at all a date. Neither party has shown any remote in interest in that way, and if she thought I was suggesting a date, I never would've heard back.

[TheLambOfDeth]

2 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Playing devils advocate, to the ladies participating on this thread. 

If you had invited a man out with a specific plan, gave him two days to choose (Wed/Thursday), he replied saying he has to check his schedule and would get back to you. 

BUT then did NOT reply back until one week later saying he was free the following day, a Sunday (the day of rest for many of us), with heart emoji's, how would you feel?

Really think about this.  For me, I'd interpret as low interest.  And waited to reply to assure no better options presented itself.  The heart emoji's as BS, I certainly wouid NOT take them seriously. 

I've read countless threads on various forums with this exact scenario.  And the general consensus was the guy was a player, a "waste of time," no interested person (friend or otherwise) waits an entire week to know their schedule and then replies with a one-day notice. 

Is it different because the roles are flipped?  And because men are the natural hunters/chasers? So they should tolerate such low interest, frankly rude (imo) behavior from women? 

These are not rhetorical questions, I am sincerely interested in knowing the answers.  To me, it seems there are two sets of behavior, one for women, one for men. 

It's OK for a woman to stall, avoid, even flake but NOT OK when a man does, otherwise he's deemed a player and a waste of time. 

Again, just how I'm seeing this, I could be wrong and my thinking is off?  Frankly I hope so because I find this thread unsettling.

These are red flags and it's important to pay attention to them.  If we don't, we risk getting out hearts ripped to shreds later.  

It's happened to me!!  I ignored, gave benefit of doubt, and went full steam ahead.  

Doesn't matter the gender, both women and men need to be prudent in today's dating environment, it's all changed since the birth of dating apps and sites and articles/books/videos by so-called dating gurus on how to "play the game."

Just my .$02 fwiw.

Best of luck @TheLambOfDethwhatever you decide. 

 

Thank you. Literally, if I was a woman, and made the exact same thread, beat by beat...the nature of my replies would be soooooo different...Or if they were in my position. Yet no one else even remotely acknowledges that. And the part about the influence of dating apps and gurus and all that information CANNOT be overstated. Too many people seem to projecting their experience from decades ago, not how things are now. Especially when you have no options, and the other person has dozens. You're the only one with something to lose.

2 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Agree @Sindy_0311I just re-reread their text message exchange posted several pages back, wherein he asked her out with a plan, and two dates to choose (Wed and Thursday). 

If me (as a woman) I would have definitely interpreted that as a "date." 

I don't think she does. Or maybe she does and the flaking, extended time of waiting, and obvious low effort and interest is her giving me a sign, lol. Which would be even more telling, bc I legitimately have no delusions of dating her. That's why I've never used the word "date" or tried to come on too strong.

[LootieTootie]

5 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Playing devils advocate, to the ladies participating on this thread. 

If you had invited a man out with a specific plan, gave him two days to choose (Wed/Thursday), he replied saying he has to check his schedule and would get back to you. 

BUT then did NOT reply back until one week later saying he was free the following day, a Sunday (the day of rest for many of us), with heart emoji's, how would you feel?

 

 

I would be like "cool. let me check my calendar." Because if I am dating, I'm also open to the fact folks are dating and probably super busy with work or/and kids. Would I think this person's interest isn't high like mine? Probably - but then I would also be mindful that I have been there before where sometimes setting dates wasn't a priority for me even tho I really like the guy, because when I was super busy as a college kid, I had a full time job too and it was hard to set a date. Oh and if I was already dating a couple of guys, it was hard to nailed a date with another guy.

If the art lady is cute and talented, and it sounds like she's very nice and popular, she probably is multi-dating too and that doesn't mean she's not interested in you. 

 

 

[LootieTootie]

3 hours ago, TheLambOfDeth said:

Thank you. Literally, if I was a woman, and made the exact same thread, beat by beat...the nature of my replies would be soooooo different...Or if they were in my position. Yet no one else even remotely acknowledges that. 

 

If you were a woman, I would have told you the same thing. 

"Girl, you said you can't get a date and now someone you think is hot is asking about hanging out! Go get it! Because even if you're butthurt they didn't respond to you in a timely fashion, you're still going out! Like what else are you going to be doing on those nights? Sitting and watching some sappy romance movies and eating ice cream all by yourself? You're too young to be spending time alone and being damsel in distress."

 

 

[TheLambOfDeth]

11 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

I dont think you "embelish" and "brag" about it, I think you really believe that. Problem is that you could have a date today. But you decided that "you dont feel like it". You cant complain how you are "sub 5 that cant get a date". When you were presented an opportunity for a date. And you say things like "I dont feel like it". If you are "undatable" you wouldnt have an opportunity for a date. But you would rather stay at home and wallow in self-pity then do something about it. At some point you would need to stop blaming everybody else. And see that you are also making big mistakes when it comes to dating and that you cant say "I dont feel like it" when an opportunity for a date presents itself.

lol its not about me "believing" anything, it's a fact. I don't believe that I've swiped on thousands of women on five different sites for years and virtually none will even talk to me. That's a fact. It's not up to interpretation or belief. And again....it.was.not.a.date. Yes, I could've possibly met her today (possibly, that's assuming she didn't pull another last-minute "rescheduling") but under no pretenses was it a date. There is no romantic leaning from either side. I cannot stress this enough. There was no opportunity for a date, there was an opportunity for a casual meet between pseudo-work acquaintances. That is VASTLY different. If I assumed it was a date, it would only be at my unfounded detriment.

A date has the connotation of mutual interest or attraction, and she hasn't demonstrated remote increments of either beyond being professional. As I said countless times, when I make it obvious I'm seeking a date with a woman, I get ghosted or flaked on until she ghosts. IDK why that aspect I keep mentioning is always ignored to make a point that isn't applicable. Meeting your co worker for coffee when you two have never flirted, touched, or did anything romantic or intimate isn't a date. She might as well be a man in this situation...it makes no difference.

[WaywardKiwi]

Well, I think I may be done. You refuse to focus and commit to the situation right in front of you and would rather argue about historic occurrences with totally irrelevant third parties, or hypothetical gender swaps. This woman right now has gone above and beyond, and you decided to walk away. That's not some random OLD match's fault, that's your decision right here today. 

I won't be replying anymore, the is no pay off for the investment. 

[TheLambOfDeth]

7 hours ago, LootieTootie said:

My gawd you got heart emojis from her!  Would you at least put your ego to the side, and respond to her with an emphatic yes and give her the time and days you are available?

Literally one of the last women I messaged sent me a heart and exclamation marks after like every message...until I asked to meet her...then I never heard from her again lol. Hearts mean nothing. And I've sent her a message regarding my availability. She hasn't replied yet.

7 hours ago, LootieTootie said:

Seriously this is progress, TLOD. Dating is hard to navigate especially someone like you who isn't getting dates, but one thing to be is when you're opening yourself to dating, you need to be understanding and open-minded. This is how you show the other person you are capable of problem-solving together. And vice versa.

Progress for making a friend and possibly expanding my social circle. Sure. Dating? No. Women don't wind up dating every random guy they hang out with. We're not dating, we're barely friends at this point. Nothing about our relationship has anything to do with dating...

7 hours ago, LootieTootie said:

Now if you rather just go back to your self-pity and preserve your ego, then do it and stop thinking about this art lady who just happened to be misunderstood because of her own busy schedule and her own internal struggles. God forbid she takes a week to reconcile her own feelings and emotions about you and the potential of more than a colleague relationship.

lol you don't know any of that, you're just assuming the most positive scenario for her....for some reason. You have no way of knowing she had "internal struggles" or was reconciling her feelings for...anything. That is a giant reach for someone asking about a casual meet. Just a random guy who volunteered for yet. When in all likelihood she hasn't had a second thought about me beyond "volunteer guy" and Sunday was just the day she didn't have anything better to do. It's not at all that deep lol.

7 hours ago, LootieTootie said:

Any way, dating is hard but like Jaunty said so perfectly, when the chance is there, you need to show up. If you don't because you don't feel like it any more, you are just going to keep landing where you've been landing, nowhere.

Again...this isn't a date and we're not dating. 

1 hour ago, LootieTootie said:

I would be like "cool. let me check my calendar." Because if I am dating, I'm also open to the fact folks are dating and probably super busy with work or/and kids. Would I think this person's interest isn't high like mine? Probably - but then I would also be mindful that I have been there before where sometimes setting dates wasn't a priority for me even tho I really like the guy, because when I was super busy as a college kid, I had a full time job too and it was hard to set a date. Oh and if I was already dating a couple of guys, it was hard to nailed a date with another guy.

If the art lady is cute and talented, and it sounds like she's very nice and popular, she probably is multi-dating too and that doesn't mean she's not interested in you. 

I didn't ask her on a date, and we're not dating though, you keep mentioning dating when the more applicable comparison is hanging out with friends. You don't consider if you're dating or if your friend is when they ask to hang out. Maybe in terms of scheduling priorities. But none of that matters: if she's dating multiple people or whatever, bc literally the meet I've been trying to set up was only set to friendly drinks. Not.a.date. It doesn't matter if she's dating 30 guys or none, I didn't ask her on one lol.

1 hour ago, LootieTootie said:

If you were a woman, I would have told you the same thing. 

"Girl, you said you can't get a date and now someone you think is hot is asking about hanging out! Go get it! Because even if you're butthurt they didn't respond to you in a timely fashion, you're still going out! Like what else are you going to be doing on those nights? Sitting and watching some sappy romance movies and eating ice cream all by yourself? You're too young to be spending time alone and being damsel in distress."

....there are threads made here all the time akin to this, and this is NOT the advice women are routinely given.

[Jaunty]

2 hours ago, LootieTootie said:

If you were a woman, I would have told you the same thing. 

"Girl, you said you can't get a date and now someone you think is hot is asking about hanging out! Go get it! Because even if you're butthurt they didn't respond to you in a timely fashion, you're still going out! Like what else are you going to be doing on those nights? Sitting and watching some sappy romance movies and eating ice cream all by yourself? You're too young to be spending time alone and being damsel in distress."

 

 

Same.  If I had the inclination I could probably find some posts to women I have made to this effect.  It is not gender specific, I am almost completely outside of all of that.  My general core belief is that those who act "outside of the box" in most circumstances usually come out ahead.   This includes challenging gender roles whenever anybody feels like it.

[LootieTootie]

On 6/17/2023 at 12:57 PM, TheLambOfDeth said:

I would love to nail something down for next week but as the last text imagine upload I showed, pretty after every hot message she sends, she gets cold. Once I message her regarding a couple days next week, I'll either get no response, a response days later, or she'll say she's actually not free next week. This thread has detailed her sudden...shifts.

Okay I am not going to keep beating a dead horse here but date or no date, this post you wrote -  it appears that you were by all means and purposes somewhat trying to nail a DATE with her but as you said she would go cold. So yes if someone asked me on coffee and I couldn't make it and then they asked me my availability for the following week - yea!  Any sensible person would think you're more than likely asking her out.  If you wanna preserve your ego and say otherwise, I got one word for you - Riiiiight. 

2 hours ago, TheLambOfDeth said:

 

....there are threads made here all the time akin to this, and this is NOT the advice women are routinely given.

Well if thats what you got, I can tell you you didn't read everyone's post thoroughly. The consensus mostly for threads like yours when someone is way invested in someone they hardly know and the relationship is still new or hasn't even begun: Don't emotionally invest in someone or something so fast that whatever action or non-action from them spells miracle or doom. Be realistic. People have lives and life does get in the way. For all you know, she might be having to take care of a sick family member or is going thru some personal demons and don't feel like sharing her space yet. 

Any way, I don't want to drag this on but I still stand by what I said. If you ever want to date, I advise you to build some thick skin and be open-minded. If you can't do that, yea you probably shouldn't date because you will more than likely be upset at your inability to find someone.

Part of growing up is experiencing lots of crap and learning to let go - even if you can't let it all go. And yea, sometimes you just experience more crap as you get older. But once you get the hang of letting stuff go, you get better at handling crap that comes your way. 

You're a great catch and if the art lady doesn't see it, then maybe another lady will see it. Raise your positive vibrations by loving yourself and being kind to yourself. People gravitate to kind and positive people. 

[TheLambOfDeth]

Welp I guess I have to update it here:

 

So she def liked me to some extent....but she's...weird. We hung out like a month ago at one of her events and she just keep teasing me and laughing for no reason. She introduced me to more of her friends and just kept teasing and giggling at me. And a bit of light flirting. I left early bc all her friends were women and there was a lot of them. A few weeks went by and I reached out and she said "You've been on my mind" and she invited me to one of her openings that night. I didn't go bc it was short notice and I had to reach out. She said we should catch up soon and invited me to another one of her events on Thursday.

After the event we hung out with the gallery's director and her bf and this is where I could tell she was interested. We hung around each other the entire time, she asked me a bunch of questions, kept saying "you get me so well" and we just really talked a lot and had a lot in common. A lot of teasing and more flirting. At one point one lady said something about someone taking her home and she said "I wish someone would take me home" and then she looked at me. After that we went to a bar close by and had drinks and and more flirting. At one point she said she couldn't be held responsible if she took advantage of me or something. The she started texting her friends and kept looking at me but idk what she said bc I was talking to the bartender. She out of nowhere she just left. After she was in her uber she texted "sorry, but the only way I can exercise boundaries is to bail hard and fast".....

Ok so during all this she invited me to a friend's warehouse part that nxt Saturday. And this is why she irks me so. Throughout the whole week she didn't text at all. I texted her early in the week in regards to a convo we had on Thursday about a movie that was an inside joke and she just said "lol". So on Friday I ask if she was still going to that party and she said "I intend so"...I even had to ask for the address since she didn't give it to me. Soooo I didn't go. "I intend to" sounds like code for "No". It's like this woman is literally two different people. Irl she's warm and engaging and clearly into me, yet via text she's curt af and almost seems annoyed. And she never reaches out first. She literally waits until I text her, then will invite me to something the same day, instead of just texting first. Those tendencies trigger my anxiety and make me feel like I'm bothering her. We haven't spoken since I asked for the address on Friday.

The horrible texting habits just throw me off so I'll have to find more prospects, but I'm not sure how or where. I haven't met anyone at the gallery that isn't a friend or acquaintance of her. I've been looking into meet ups, but I never take that step to actually join...

[Morello]

Come on, man... she was literally throwing herself into your arms. And you did nothing. Just kept flirting, and flirting, and talking, and flirting... No wonder she sounds frustrated.

[TheLambOfDeth]

3 hours ago, Morello said:

Come on, man... she was literally throwing herself into your arms. And you did nothing. Just kept flirting, and flirting, and talking, and flirting... No wonder she sounds frustrated.

She being very hot and cold and sending mixed signals. That's pretty frustrating tbh...

[MrMan1983]

7 hours ago, TheLambOfDeth said:

Welp I guess I have to update it here:

 

So she def liked me to some extent....but she's...weird. We hung out like a month ago at one of her events and she just keep teasing me and laughing for no reason. She introduced me to more of her friends and just kept teasing and giggling at me. And a bit of light flirting. I left early bc all her friends were women and there was a lot of them. A few weeks went by and I reached out and she said "You've been on my mind" and she invited me to one of her openings that night. I didn't go bc it was short notice and I had to reach out. She said we should catch up soon and invited me to another one of her events on Thursday.

After the event we hung out with the gallery's director and her bf and this is where I could tell she was interested. We hung around each other the entire time, she asked me a bunch of questions, kept saying "you get me so well" and we just really talked a lot and had a lot in common. A lot of teasing and more flirting. At one point one lady said something about someone taking her home and she said "I wish someone would take me home" and then she looked at me. After that we went to a bar close by and had drinks and and more flirting. At one point she said she couldn't be held responsible if she took advantage of me or something. The she started texting her friends and kept looking at me but idk what she said bc I was talking to the bartender. She out of nowhere she just left. After she was in her uber she texted "sorry, but the only way I can exercise boundaries is to bail hard and fast".....

Ok so during all this she invited me to a friend's warehouse part that nxt Saturday. And this is why she irks me so. Throughout the whole week she didn't text at all. I texted her early in the week in regards to a convo we had on Thursday about a movie that was an inside joke and she just said "lol". So on Friday I ask if she was still going to that party and she said "I intend so"...I even had to ask for the address since she didn't give it to me. Soooo I didn't go. "I intend to" sounds like code for "No". It's like this woman is literally two different people. Irl she's warm and engaging and clearly into me, yet via text she's curt af and almost seems annoyed. And she never reaches out first. She literally waits until I text her, then will invite me to something the same day, instead of just texting first. Those tendencies trigger my anxiety and make me feel like I'm bothering her. We haven't spoken since I asked for the address on Friday.

The horrible texting habits just throw me off so I'll have to find more prospects, but I'm not sure how or where. I haven't met anyone at the gallery that isn't a friend or acquaintance of her. I've been looking into meet ups, but I never take that step to actually join...

Blimey could she be making it any more obvious 😂 Man you’re fumbling the bag stop focusing on texting habits and set a one on one date, be concise and suggest a good plan and see where the chips fall.

[WaywardKiwi]

So TLDR, I was right, she was just bad at texting? You have blown her off multiple times and she is still inviting you out time and time again. If you choose to take everything as a negative then so be it, but you cant claim noone ever wants to date you or is interested in you because it is patently untrue.