Did I blow it?

[MissCanuck]

7 hours ago, Username02 said:

Some black men are more cautious because of the history of violence against black men who were falsely accused of rape.  I could be reading entirely too much into it- but my intuition tells me it possibly contributed to his fears

You are really reaching with this. You have no clue what is going through this man's mind or if he even has any "fears" at all. He might already have a wife or girlfriend but enjoys checking you out, for all you know. 

Just say hi next time. Try to avoid coming up with far-fetched scenarios. 

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, Username02 said:

.  I could be reading entirely too much into it- but my intuition tells me it possibly contributed to his fears.

There's no reason to assume he's afraid of anything. There are plenty of other reasons he may not be approaching you. Maybe he's not available, maybe he's not interested, maybe he's not straight, maybe he thinks picking up women at gyms is creepy, etc.

Try to focus more on your shyness and social anxiety. Perhaps join some other groups and clubs, take some classes and courses, volunteer. That way you can get more comfortable with making small talk and making friends.

As far as dating, you could also use these opportunities to mingle in a way that is based more on social interaction rather than just glancing at people.

Additionally, you can get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting men who you already know are interested in dating.

 

[Batya33]

11 hours ago, Username02 said:

No- It’s a distraction from doing some soul searching and facing fears about why I can’t even hello to someone…

Thank you for asking.

Please don't resort to these sorts of claims and untrue stereotypes as a way to distract yourself- just a suggestion -soon it becomes something you actually believe -especially the hyperbolic lies you're telling yourself and it's offensive to individuals should it become obvious or even implied.

Of course you can say hello -you're simply choosing your fear over saying hello.  I can relate to the temptation to choose fear and safety over putting myself out there- in almost every instance the latter resulted in great rewards or at least some cool insights or wisdom.

[boltnrun]

What frightening things do you fear would happen if you smiled and said hello?

[Username02]

7 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

Try to avoid coming up with far-fetched scenarios. 

I agree-thank you for your feedback.

[catfeeder]

You didn't blow it, you smiled and waved. That's an encouraging acknowledgement.

People at gyms and other places where we see people frequently tend to grow more comfortable over time with familiarity. 

This wasn't some make-or-break encounter, it was kind body language. Good!

Don't overthink it. Stay encouraging, and if you can manage a smile and a hello next time, great. If not, that's not the end of the world, either.

Head high.