Looks like I have to lie :(

[SherrySher]

3 minutes ago, midnightdeirdre said:

Lol no. Never been. He is single. 

I think you have thought all of this through in a very reasonable manner.

You don't sound like someone who would ever be with a married man. 

You sound like a very nice lady.

[kamurj]

There seems to be some some frustration here that the OP does not understand, accept or hear the advice given. ENA is a platform to share our advice, whether or not the OP will accept or follow that is not and can not be the objective. If that is your feeling, please do move to the next topic that could use your advice. 

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, SherrySher said:

Nothing silly at all.

This lady knows what she wants and what she's comfortable telling him.

If she is disappointed, it sounds like she knows how to handle it.

At the end of the day, it will be her situation to deal with. 

But I think she sounds pretty level headed about all of it.

Nevermind -will heed KamurJ's input.

[Batya33]

35 minutes ago, kamurj said:

There seems to be some some frustration here that the OP does not understand, accept or hear the advice given. ENA is a platform to share our advice, whether or not the OP will accept or follow that is not and can not be the objective. If that is your feeling, please do move to the next topic that could use your advice. 

I agree and will move on. I am feeling frustrated at the OP going back and forth with what she's hoping to gain from this sexual experience and I realize my reactions are not helping her.  The risks of harm to her from what she is planning to do likely are not life threatening for sure.  So with that perspective yes I'll move on.  Good luck with whatever you choose to do OP.

[Jibralta]

6 hours ago, midnightdeirdre said:

Lol no. Never been. He is single. 

Just checking. I saw he had a son--had to ask.

[woodsrose10]

On 4/5/2023 at 5:56 PM, Cherylyn said:

Lying causes you to dig a deeper hole for yourself and then you can't get away with it.  Your original lie needs more lies to pile on top of it as you continue your ruse.

Sooner or later when your stories don't add up to whomever you're lying to,  will catch on and catch up with you.  Deceit and betrayal are impossible to recover from.  Sure, there could be civility post-lie(s) but trust in you is destroyed and permanently dead.  ☹️ 

If being respected and admired doesn't matter to you,  then lie and consequences be da _ _ _ _.   If you're not concerned with harsh consequences,  then lie and do whatever your heart desires with abandon.  Some people dispense whatever they say or write without thinking of the repercussions. 

Always remember,  one action leads to another which can either impact your life positively and smoothly or have disastrous results in all relationships.  Think before you do otherwise you could very well live with a lot of regrets which can never be undone. 

Perhaps some of you recall a guy I dated in 2017-2018. He was divorced with 2 children. We weren't a couple for too long; just a few months. We kept it secret at first, and then we were planning to tell people once we had settled.

I admit, I did lie to my parents about where he and I really were a few times. I said we were going out to dinner and then a movie. (Instead of a movie we snuck out to a secluded area to watch a DVD in his car and then make love.) We timed it perfectly so I'd get home without my parents suspecting anything. It worked every time.

[Batya33]

The reason to let your parents know is safety -and you can decide if that is an issue.  

[MissCanuck]

7 hours ago, Batya33 said:

The reason to let your parents know is safety -and you can decide if that is an issue

This. 

OP, when my friends and I were younger and still dating around, we'd always let each other know where we were if we met up with a new guy. It was simply a matter of wanting to be safe, and forunately, there were never any issues. It is just good practice that someone knows where you are when you're hooking up with a new guy. 

I realize you've known this particular man since high school, but as you have not actually spent time with him in years, it would be wise to make someone aware of your location when you meet him. Have you got a friend you could trust with that information? 

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, midnightdeirdre said:

 We timed it perfectly so I'd get home without my parents suspecting anything. 

If your parents are overprotective, you seem to have found a way to find intimacy privately. Have you ever spoken to them about your dating? Maybe they're not as opposed to it as you think. 

Even if your parents are still your legal guardians, they may be ok with you having sex and dates as long as you assure them you're safe. In fact why not bring dates home to reassure your parents so you don't have to lie?