Reality is too painful

[Katt2323]

Has anyone ever felt like reality is to painful? What do you do when reality is too painful?

[Beebee1234]

Seek out support from your friends and family. It is good to talk. Someone will be glad you did. 

[Wiseman2]

29 minutes ago, Katt2323 said:

Has anyone ever felt like reality is to painful? What do you do when reality is too painful?

Is this about a recent breakup? You can call a mental health hotline. Someone will listen to you and help you. They can direct you to affordable clinics and therapists for ongoing support. 

[Katt2323]

16 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is this about a recent breakup? You can call a mental health hotline. Someone will listen to you and help you. They can direct you to affordable clinics and therapists for ongoing support. 

Ya it’s really painful. I went from being valued to being treated like a total stranger. I really need someone to talk to and I feel so alone. 

[Cherylyn]

Fortunately, I have my husband and sons to lean on.  They're my staunchest allies. 

As back up, I have my brother and very close, local friends for additional moral support. 

I also take good care of myself by eating right, exercising daily and remaining productive and industrious.  I'm proud of my household as I run a tight ship. 

I enjoy a multitude of hobbies (sewing quilts, table runners, pot holders, oven mitts, trivets, crocheting blankets, cooking, cake decorating, calligraphy like the 'Declaration of Independence,' scrap booking, greeting card embossing, making homemade postal greeting cards, stamping, wax seal making, jewelry making, etc).  I like to make things with my hands.  I occasionally watch educational documentaries and great movies. 

I like to look pretty so I frequent hair salons, get manicures and pedicures.  Life is painful so I might as well take good care of myself and family.  It makes me happy to buy posh handbags, stylish shoes and clothes.  I have all of these outlets to compensate for whatever pain I feel such as past relationships with some relatives and extended relatives which went awry due to serious moral offenses.   I keep busy!  I do what I want when I want.

I've also quit FB which feels quite liberating. 

[Cherylyn]

Reality is indeed too painful for millions of people.  It's sad that they've resorted to alcohol and drugs to numb their pain.  Getting high is many times, their way of not dealing with life's harsh every day reality.  They can't cope with painful daily reality. 

[Batya33]

5 hours ago, Katt2323 said:

Ya it’s really painful. I went from being valued to being treated like a total stranger. I really need someone to talk to and I feel so alone. 

I suggest as an initial way online therapy /hotline. I’m sorry you’re struggling. Or if relevant someone at your place of worship. 

[Cherylyn]

23 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I suggest as an initial way online therapy /hotline. I’m sorry you’re struggling. Or if relevant someone at your place of worship. 

I agree with @Batya33 church (if you're faith based) is an excellent source of moral support especially in person. 

[Sam_McGee]

Quitting Faceache and other forms of social media is definitely a plus. I don't use Twatter or Instacrap and definitely not TikTok because it's full of child molesters and Chinese spyware.

Social media was a mistake and has ruined our mental health as a society. Its business model is on making you feel inadequate so you will click more things and see more ads. Nothing on it is real.

Do they have the Samaritans where you are? That has helped in the past when I needed to talk to someone like right now.

[catfeeder]

8 hours ago, Katt2323 said:

Ya it’s really painful. I went from being valued to being treated like a total stranger. I really need someone to talk to and I feel so alone. 

My heart goes out to you. The most helpful shift I learned to make after a breakup was away from a belief that one other person could estimate my 'value'.

You will never NOT be valued when you can recognize your own unique value, which not everyone else will have the vision to see. That's true for each of us.

If you can think of two puzzle pieces that don't fit together, they're both still valuable in the scheme of things, they just don't belong with one another.

Hold out and trust that your best possible partner is yet to come. Meanwhile, use the Internet to search for a hotline number and speak with people who are trained to listen. They do this because they care. They appreciate the value in all of us frightened humans who are just doing the best we know how. 

Trust that someday you will thank yourself, and you will be able to help the next person through this.

[Cynder]

I know exactly how this feels.  I have spent most of my life (basically teen years on) wishing I was dead.  I remember having a conversation with my therapist about it once and she said just because people have been nasty and I was dealt a bad hand in life doesn't mean I don't deserve to be alive.  And I said it's not that I don't think I deserve to be alive.  It's that I don't want to live in a world like this.  On top of all that, I am also physically disabled (legally blind in both eyes) and the limitations of my disability get really depressing sometimes. 

In 2016 I had a near Death experience.  This made me appreciate my life more, but on the other side of things it also made me want death more during the hard times because now I've experienced it and know it's nothing to be afraid of.  (My NDE wasn't caused by a suicide attempt, if anyone is wondering.) 

In September of 2021 I checked myself into a hotel with the intention of unaliving myself.  And the only thing that stopped me was literally not wanting to inconvenience the hotel staff and traumatize some poor housekeeper who would come in and find my body.

Since then It's been an uphill ride.  But now I am happier than I've ever been.  A big thing was cutting contact with everyone who was ruining my inner peace.  I also started doing random acts of kindness as much as I could.  And I do them anonymously when I can because then it's all about creating positive feelings for other people and not taking credit for it.  Gratitude is huge, too.  I started thinking of all the things I have to be grateful for.  I own a successful business doing something I'm passionate about.  I have a great group of friends.  I have a nephew I care about more than anyone and I can't wait to see him grow up.  I own a beautiful home with a beautiful yard in a nice neighborhood.  And now I have an amazing SO who carried a torch for me for 5 years and I had no idea.  If I would have died in 2016 or in 2021 I would have missed out on so much. 

So I guess the takeaway from this would be distance yourself from things that disrupt your peace, and be grateful for the positive things in your life.  Also, therapy helps.  Working out helps, too.  And so do random acts of kindness.  Any act of kindness really. 

I hope this helps.