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Falling for a guy who used to like me


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I (22F) have known this guy (22M) for about two years now. A few months ago, we met again for the first time in a while, and he confessed that he had been interested in me when we first met, but after being teased by our friends he said that his feelings towards me had faded since some time had passed. I didn't think much of it at the time as I wasn't particularly interested in starting anything with him. However, we have been seeing each other (with other friends) a lot more recently, and I've found myself thinking about him a lot. He's a naturally flirty person, and has been openly complimenting me in front of our friends and doing little things to help me. I didn't want to admit it, but I think I've fallen for him as well. 

The problem is that he hasn't made any other moves. I would go out with him if he asked. Is there a chance that he really doesn't like me romantically anymore? I don't understand why he would confess to me and flirt like that if he just wanted to stay as friends. I really want to get closer to him and hang out with him one on one, but I also don't want to make things awkward between us. Should I make the first move and how?

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Does he still flirts? Maybe he just wanted it to get out of his chest and move on? Or maybe he wanted to see your reaction but as you didnt think much of that, he retracted that he likes you?

Anyway, how do you plan for him to ask you out when you already

a) reacted cold to his confession

b) dont show any interest from your side (or at least didnt wrote you do aside that you secretly like him back)

So, show some interest. Maybe give him a few compliments and flirt back so that he actually has an idea that you are interested. Because like this neither you or him are clear in what you want toward each other. You dont know if he likes you and he certanly doesnt know that you like him. So, try to change that. Subtly, not hitting him with the head with it.

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I like Batya's suggestion as it's fun (who doesn't love a fun activity!) and it doesn't beat around the bush.

A not so straight forward alternative is to ask him to help you with something you know he's good at that way you get 1 on 1 time. For example: help you bake a cake.

 

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Or, meet for coffee or lunch sometime.  Hang out more with him 1:1 so you can get to know him better instead of always being lumped together within a group of mutual friends.

Be prepared though.  Even though he's giving you mixed feelings with flirtatious behavior, he may only be trying to be friendly while his true original feelings have since faded away.  Some guys (or people) in general can be charming and pretentious while not having any serious intentions of feeling close to you.  When they're "ON" socially, they put on a good act and whenever they don't show their social face, t they're either quite boring, scary or both.  Just be prepared either way.  However, I hope it works in your favor. 

Take it slow and eventually you will know if he's interested in you or not.

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11 hours ago, bagelbakes33 said:

 he said that his feelings towards me had faded since some time had passed.  he hasn't made any other moves.

Think of him as an old friend. If a guy is not asking you out, they're not interested in dating.

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It’s hard to tell. You say he’s naturally flirty but he doesn’t ask you out. He’s also mentioned he used to like you in the past tense. When I was younger and more dumb, I flirted with young men I thought weren’t ever going to be a threat to my singledom (yes, it happened). It was just for fun, people I’d never date. You’re both only 22 and he may be just having some fun with you. 

Be friendly with him and see if you both have time to do something one on one. If you’re not willing to do that it’s fine. Him not asking you out means he’s not that interested.

Edited by Rose Mosse
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