Advice on what to do?

[hannah9]

So there is this other guy, hes 17 and im 15 and we started talking during lunch. He was really funny and I actually liked being around him. At first I kept dreaming of him in a sexual way? I know its bad but I couldnt help it, but at the same time I just really liked talking to him. I dont know if I like him or not but I do think of him sometimes. I remember we were on a facetime call and he said things such as: youre really cute, if your Dad is strict then we cant date. I was too flustered to even react so I just stayed silent or said yeah haha when he said stuff like that. Then he started saying cringey but funny pickup lines and he started telling me his friends told him to say that to me. He often texted me that he loves me but I didnt really respond to it because I wasnt even sure how I felt about him at the time. I texted him about 3 weeks ago or so and he didnt respond, he gives me these big droopy eyes when I see him in the hallway. I really liked talking to him he was funny and I would like to talk to him again. Im friends with his sister who is in my class but she rarely talks about him. Should I talk to him or leave him be?

[Rose Mosse]

Is it the same guy in the other recent thread? I thought you got the feeling he didn't like you. 

I think he's teasing you because you aren't able to date or it's not allowed. If he doesn't want to speak with you or walked away the last time mid-conversation, take the hint.

[hannah9]

2 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

Is it the same guy in the other recent thread? I thought you got the feeling he didn't like you. 

I think he's teasing you because you aren't able to date or it's not allowed. If he doesn't want to speak with you or walked away the last time mid-conversation, take the hint.

Its someone else 😅

[hannah9]

3 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

Is it the same guy in the other recent thread? I thought you got the feeling he didn't like you. 

I think he's teasing you because you aren't able to date or it's not allowed. If he doesn't want to speak with you or walked away the last time mid-conversation, take the hint.

This one just left me on read, I never really said I love you back to him because I was too confused but at the same time I liked him? Its weird.

[Andrina]

Stick to hanging out with girl friends right now, because you don't recognize red flags in guys, or ignore them. Enjoy your freedom, being single without the stress a short term romance will be at this time in your life, because with the maturity levels of these guys you're attracted to, it will end up very short term and with a lot of heartache.

[hannah9]

10 minutes ago, Andrina said:

Stick to hanging out with girl friends right now, because you don't recognize red flags in guys, or ignore them. Enjoy your freedom, being single without the stress a short term romance will be at this time in your life, because with the maturity levels of these guys you're attracted to, it will end up very short term and with a lot of heartache.

Thank you, the thing with me is Im sort of boy crazy? I like guys like a lot and I cant control myself sometimes. How do I stop this? 😞

[hannah9]

Just now, hannah9 said:

Thank you, the thing with me is Im sort of boy crazy? I like guys like a lot and I cant control myself sometimes. How do I stop this? 😞

Like every guy I meet I have some sort of attraction towards them and in really bad cases I get obsessed and think about them 24/7 non stop and then I will try to get their attention even if its negative.

[boltnrun]

20 minutes ago, hannah9 said:

Like every guy I meet I have some sort of attraction towards them and in really bad cases I get obsessed and think about them 24/7 non stop and then I will try to get their attention even if its negative.

What else are you interested in besides boys? Are you involved in clubs, sports, student government, drama club, choir, band or anything else?

[hannah9]

18 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

What else are you interested in besides boys? Are you involved in clubs, sports, student government, drama club, choir, band or anything else?

I like to draw and make memes 😭 going to the gym is also fun for me 

[Andrina]

What's your family life like? Sometimes when closeness and attention is lacking in home life, we seek out that closeness in a guy, who really ends up not filling that void and causing more issues at this young time in your life. I was really boy crazy too during my teen years and too intent on always having a bf, and then when I had a dry spell, I went into a serious depression. As an adult, I realized what had happened was just as I said here, that my parents weren't the worse parents, and were good in some areas, but there was some distance between us and I lacked a normal affection most parents give like hugging, amongst other things. 

If this is the case with you, I'd speak to a school counselor. Maybe ask your parents what you need from them, as they are not mindreaders. I wished I'd not made getting boyfriends a big goal in my life--relaxed in that area. I did have girlfriends and played soccer and did value alone time. I guess those are some things I did right. Like the other poster said, think about other areas you can focus on and find fun with your own company and also with friends. When you find yourself obsessively thinking of boys, redirect your mind to other thoughts and get busy doing something else. Practice makes perfect. Take care. 

[boltnrun]

4 minutes ago, hannah9 said:

I like to draw and make memes 😭 going to the gym is also fun for me 

Ok, but what do you do for social life? What are you and your friends into? Are you active in any school activities or anything outside of school? Sports? A musical instrument? 

[hannah9]

2 hours ago, boltnrun said:

Ok, but what do you do for social life? What are you and your friends into? Are you active in any school activities or anything outside of school? Sports? A musical instrument? 

Im not allowed to hang out with friends outside of school, but we like laughing, joking around, playing pranks and what not.

[hannah9]

2 hours ago, Andrina said:

What's your family life like? Sometimes when closeness and attention is lacking in home life, we seek out that closeness in a guy, who really ends up not filling that void and causing more issues at this young time in your life. I was really boy crazy too during my teen years and too intent on always having a bf, and then when I had a dry spell, I went into a serious depression. As an adult, I realized what had happened was just as I said here, that my parents weren't the worse parents, and were good in some areas, but there was some distance between us and I lacked a normal affection most parents give like hugging, amongst other things. 

If this is the case with you, I'd speak to a school counselor. Maybe ask your parents what you need from them, as they are not mindreaders. I wished I'd not made getting boyfriends a big goal in my life--relaxed in that area. I did have girlfriends and played soccer and did value alone time. I guess those are some things I did right. Like the other poster said, think about other areas you can focus on and find fun with your own company and also with friends. When you find yourself obsessively thinking of boys, redirect your mind to other thoughts and get busy doing something else. Practice makes perfect. Take care. 

Thank you ❤️☺️

[Batya33]

3 hours ago, hannah9 said:

Thank you, the thing with me is Im sort of boy crazy? I like guys like a lot and I cant control myself sometimes. How do I stop this? 😞

If you are angry with someone and want to hit them across the face do you do it? No.  Same thing - you can't control your feelings.  You can control how you choose to react.  So just because you're boy crazy doesn't mean you should put it all out there in front of boys your age.  Get to know boys as people -as human beings - find common interests. Otherwise the boy will know you don't really care about him as a person you're just collecting boys like candy and seeking attention.  

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, hannah9 said:

Im not allowed to hang out with friends outside of school, but we like laughing, joking around, playing pranks and what not.

But what about any of the things I listed? Do you have NO interests or activities other than joking around with your friends and making memes? How about art classes? 

You're totally focused on boys possibly because you don't have anything else to fill your time. Get involved in something and you won't have much time to obsess over boys.

[hannah9]

2 hours ago, boltnrun said:

But what about any of the things I listed? Do you have NO interests or activities other than joking around with your friends and making memes? How about art classes? 

You're totally focused on boys possibly because you don't have anything else to fill your time. Get involved in something and you won't have much time to obsess over boys.

Ill try and find time to distract myself, the gym helps a lot, and Ill join a club.

[Wiseman2]

10 hours ago, hannah9 said:

Im not allowed to hang out with friends outside of school, but we like laughing, joking around, playing pranks and what not.

Is there trouble at home? Are you an only child? Are your parents overprotective?

Stop playing pranks for attention. That's bullying and acting out. You won't make friends that way, just enemies and get a reputation as a jerk.

It's not true that you can't join some sports and groups and clubs at school. Talk to your teachers and guidance counselors.

Stop being a bully for attention. 

[Jibralta]

14 hours ago, hannah9 said:

Thank you, the thing with me is Im sort of boy crazy? I like guys like a lot and I cant control myself sometimes. How do I stop this? 😞

Well, I think it's not unusual for a 15-year old to be boy-crazy. I had crushes left and right when I was a kid. It was both overwhelming and a lot of fun. I couldn't help it. And didn't really want to, if I'm honest.

At 15, you're still well within in the sandbox of adulthood. Most of what you're doing is learning and practice for later, when you have real control over your life. 

I agree with Batya, though. You are in control of how you react. Yes, you're going to be a goofball and do a lot of goofy crap. And the guys will do it right back. It's to be expected. Just stay respectful of yourself and of others.

Also, be careful. Even though you're still a kid you can still get pregnant or get into some other trouble. Not saying you will, but sometimes things get out of hand, so be mindful. 

[hannah9]

3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is there trouble at home? Are you an only child? Are your parents overprotective?

Stop playing pranks for attention. That's bullying and acting out. You won't make friends that way, just enemies and get a reputation as a jerk.

It's not true that you can't join some sports and groups and clubs at school. Talk to your teachers and guidance counselors.

Stop being a bully for attention. 

The pranks arent even considered as pranks because its within my friend group, we just print out memes and post them around the school like the bathroom and stuff. My parents are quite overprotective and they have little trust in me.

[Batya33]

19 minutes ago, hannah9 said:

The pranks arent even considered as pranks because its within my friend group, we just print out memes and post them around the school like the bathroom and stuff. My parents are quite overprotective and they have little trust in me.

Please stop doing that.  All you need is for one teacher or administrator to call you out on it and you have a bad mark on your school record.  Who needs that? It's also littering.  Your parents might be protective because they know you act impulsively and they're concerned about you really angering someone and getting really hurt.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, hannah9 said:

My parents are quite overprotective and they have little trust in me.

Ok, then you need to be more trustworthy. Get better grades. Get involved in school activities, sports, groups, clubs.

Decide what you are interested in and start looking at colleges. Talk to teachers about your interests and goals so they can help you start looking at what colleges would best suit you.

Stop goofing your life away so your parents Can trust you. The more mature and responsible you act the more they will trust you.

[hannah9]

9 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Please stop doing that.  All you need is for one teacher or administrator to call you out on it and you have a bad mark on your school record.  Who needs that? It's also littering.  Your parents might be protective because they know you act impulsively and they're concerned about you really angering someone and getting really hurt.

Thank you for the advice