Previous dating sites before relationship

[Nolie6774]

So i have been in a relationship for 12 years. My significant other continues signing up on dating sites and each time i find out he lies about it and says its not him. Or he tells me he does it because im a *** and its the way i treat him. I dont get sex at home because he had cancer and it caused some issue with sexual performance with his man parts. I have come to accept the fact but it bothers me he is on these dating sites. It tells me he is still looking for another woman. Any input please.

[HeartGoesOn]

I'd tell him you were born at night, but it wasn't last night.

Seriously, the writing is on the wall, therefore what's in it for you?

[waffle]

44 minutes ago, Nolie6774 said:

It tells me he is still looking for another woman. Any input please.

BINGO.  I'm not sure what other input we can provide that you don't already know.

[Rose Mosse]

Are you with him because you feel sorry for him or because it’s a relationship of convenience?

He’s abusive and blaming you for his cheating and lack of discretion and loyalty. 

 

[SooSad33]

3 hours ago, Nolie6774 said:

in a relationship for 12 years. My significant other continues signing up on dating sites and each time i find out he lies about it and says its not him. Or he tells me he does it because im a *** and its the way i treat him.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is him... especially with such a response. (  Or he tells me he does it because im a *** and its the way i treat him.).  I know a few guys to tend to hang out there still, even when already involved. like a habit?

In ways, I am thinking he does this because he feels low about himself.. and it trying to life his spirits, knowing his issue's.. Anyone can feel some shame knowing they can' perform.

If you two don't have sex, how can he with anyone else?

 

[MissCanuck]

Why are you still with him?

[SherrySher]

4 hours ago, Nolie6774 said:

So i have been in a relationship for 12 years. My significant other continues signing up on dating sites and each time i find out he lies about it and says its not him. Or he tells me he does it because im a *** and its the way i treat him. I dont get sex at home because he had cancer and it caused some issue with sexual performance with his man parts. I have come to accept the fact but it bothers me he is on these dating sites. It tells me he is still looking for another woman. Any input please.

Yes, he is 100% looking for another woman to replace you.

Why are you not talking to a divorce lawyer?

This man is not respectful to you, or to the relationship and he is desperately wanting to find someone else.

What else is there to know?

There is no fixing this.

[DarkCh0c0]

Why put up with this?!?

6 hours ago, Rose Mosse said:

Are you with him because you feel sorry for him or because it’s a relationship of convenience?

He’s abusive and blaming you for his cheating and lack of discretion and loyalty

Do you not think you deserve better? To be in a true honest and loving relationship?

Agree with everyone. Nothing to fix here. Consult a divorce attorney. Your husband does not desire you and wants out. He's just too coward to do it.

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, Nolie6774 said:

 Or he tells me he does it because im a *** and its the way i treat him. I dont get sex at home because he had cancer and it caused some issue with sexual performance with his man parts.

He's abusive, but you already know this.

Cheating is just an extension of the abuse. Stop sleeping with him.

You need to see a physician and get tested for STDs. What you uncovered may be the tip of the iceberg. Be frank about your husband's activities and the abuse.

Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support.

How old is he? How long ago did he have cancer? Is he in remission?

Was he always this abusive? Or is it since his cancer treatment and subsequent ED?

Are you on these dating apps as well or are you going through his phone? 

You say you don't get sex at home, do you get it somewhere else?

[catfeeder]

I'd stop making this about him, and I'd make it about caring for myself, instead.

Why stay with him?