very disappointed with this site.

[punchy504]

very true

[hecka_bekah]

Usually when you have a friend in need they act on their emotions and you think, 'I can't believe they did that! I would never make that mistake!' and yes, you do get a little irritated. However, people will more likely continue to make the same mistakes if there isn't a friend to support them in their time of need. I think about all of the times I've felt sorry for myself and how my friends probably got sick of me talking about an ex over and over again. It's a learning process and this site is just a way for people to express their sadness, anger and frustation. I look back at some posts I've made and wondered, 'What was I thinking?!'. I'm sure many of us have but I'm not going to beat myself up about it or get upset with others who just need to let out their emotions. This is a great website for those who just need someone to listen to, especially for those who are uncomfortable conversing their thoughts and feelings.

[hecka_bekah]

I would also like to add that it is true people need to help themselves out before others can help them out, but why not take the first step in giving someone encouragement in their time of need? One should learn to balance justice and compassion instead of belittling those who have made mistakes or continuing to give into self pity and also the selfishness of others.

[lostlove]

this is and ADVICE site, not a discussion site. people come here looking for advice on things, not to have intelligent discussions. maybe if you opened your eyes and looked around you, you would notice that humans are often sad and looking for help, and the best thing to do in order to help people is not always to complain about their seeking advice.

[Spirits Away]

I think i understand where you're coming from. Sometimes when someone post "I want my ex back" comments, i sometimes would think to myself... another one of those posts.

 

And then i see posts with keyword such as "controlling", i would flip and immediately go inside and see if there is something i can help.

 

When we haven't experienced something, we tend to lack that part of a empathy. And when we have experienced something, we want to see if we can learn something in the post or help out the poster because we've been in that situation before.

 

Just the word "being controlled" itself sounds like a little thing to many of those who haven't experienced it, but to me, it's 100% of my own life, i'm in that environment for at least 8 hours/day. So i would think posting it on the board is legitimate.

 

It's the same as "I want my ex back"; I haven't been in the situation, but I can imagine how painful the poster would be to be posting it with emotion that can be seen with words.

 

I also don't like those who loves to post things in this board and no action to change anything, but there isn't much of them around in porportion to the members here. Just identify it, and ignore it.

[ShySoul]

Each person who posts here is going through something that has them down or worried. Yes, some may seem trival in the larger scheme of things. Questions about how to attract a girl, or why won't my ex talk to me may not seem important to you but it is very important to the person posting. Sometimes the person may just be looking for a place to vent or just need a shoulder to cry on. Thats why we are here. This site is about letting people know that they "are not alone." Sometimes that involves giving serious advice, sometimes personal experiences, other times just being there to listen. I have also seen posts that make me shake my head and say, "thats silly" or "what's the problem?" But I still realize that the person is having a hard time with this and if I am able to help, I do.

 

Not every post covers large, life and death matters. People have problems with small things too. Every issue, large or small, deserves to be treated with respect and listened to.

[sunnihunni]

im sorry...if you have a problem with this site...dont come here. its very simple. if there was something on tv that you didnt like would you watch it anyways? certainly not!

 

you said youre tired of people trying to get attention...well excuse me but what exactly was the purpose of your post here? to complain and make others feel bad for having actual problems that they are searching for help with? maybe you were hoping that someone would agree with you and you two could have a wonderfully intelligent conversation about how pitiful everyone else is? maybe you were just being rather mean?

 

maybe you should stick to a different site!

[Duff]

in a nut shell....stop wasting our time! We have people to look after

[30zIHULK]

I am sort of new to this forum and I have met a few people that really understand me and I understand them, I think that since you are from a "legal" forum you should understand that people have very strong feelings about things. I have talked with some of these people and they are hurting inside or just need someone extra for themselves to help them with things. I think that if you don't like this or don't understand it than leave. I am sorry for being so blunt but that is just me.

[sillyme666]

Well i just joined this site and was just brushing through topics and bumped into this one well my friend if you dont like this site no one is forcing you to visit it plus thing you said that happy to be miserable so buddy Godforbidd if you ever fall into some kind of miserable sitation and try asking people for solutions keep your saying in mind because they might be thinking same thing as you are. Its always to keep a better and positive attitude towards life and keeping all your doors open always helps.

[aries]

Emotions are not logical. there is no rhyme or reason.....just is.

[Empathy]

I am very disappointed in this site too. Now at least! I think it's very unfair that they will suspend you from starting new posts because you used profanity and they don't even specify which post you used profanity in! I don't remember using profanity. I'm not dumb. I know that profanity is not allowed at this site. If I did use profanity it was an accident. And if it was actual profanity then how did it get through the filters? I honestly don't remember using profanity and I KNOW not too! I am going through a very hard time right now and I'm MAD! I came to this site tonight needing support very badly and what do I find, I can't post a damn thing (and last time I checked the word damn was not considered profanity). This is just the last freakin' straw. I have been rejected by my own best friend tonight and then I come to this site for support. Lo and freakin' behold! REJECTED! I'm done here. I'm falling apart fast and I guess I can't trust in a forum that is going to be this uptight and this vague about their suspensions. And I'm sorry if I ruined anyone's perception of me, but if you ever had a good one you were wrong to begin with. I can give trustworthy advice when I'm not in pain, but when I'm in pain I feel too much and can reach instability quickly. That is when I ASK for help. I'm unstable right now and I'm LOSING IT!

[Caldus]

I was so excited when I found this forum, I am also a member of a legal advice forum, I love it and the friends I have made there. This forum seems excessively full people trying to get attention over exaggerated emotions and situations. even in the career forum. I have looked all over this forum for an intelligent conversation and all I find is pity partys and people who don't want to move on because they are too happy being miserable. If there is a current discussion about something of substance, would someone please be so kind as to direct me to it?

 

I'm sure there was a time at some point in your life where you looked for help or advice from someone else about something to do with your love life. I seriously doubt anyone's love life is so perfect that they never thought of the possibility of getting advice or venting to someone else about a certain situation. I doubt relationships are 100% fine and dandy for anyone. In addition, people in life learn at different rates as to how to handle their relationships or whatever situations they are in.

 

And as someone else said earlier, this topic isn't exactly the epitome of intelligent discussion either. I'm sure you knew that as soon as you created this topic that you would get several negative replies and draw attention to yourself the same way you describe how these other people do it on here. Can we agree that this is hypocritical behavior here?

 

I think complaints are great. They give people a chance to reflect on what may possibly be wrong with something and work from there. Like playing devil's advocate. However, I see nothing wrong with this site at all. The purpose is clearly established: to destroy peoples' mindsets that they are 'alone' in whatever situation they are in and to receive help for that situation. Have you ever been to other advice forums with less rules? Oh man those places are a big flame fest. You have 25 year olds acting like immature kids. It's sad.

 

You know what? Let these "miserable" people as you describe learn from their mistakes. I'm sure you've made a mistake or two in your life as well and learned from it. Me? I will never be able to count how many I've made. I'm not ashamed of people looking at my past posts on here. I used to make those kind of posts too. But the people who helped me back then helped change me. Changed me into a stronger person. I'm sure they've done the same to many other people. You gotta love self-improvement.

 

And if you're talking about my most recent topic in the career forum, that was me venting my frustrations ... something else that you've probably done one time or two in your life too. But after that post, the rest of my posts in that topic were very calm and productive. And viola I got help for my situation. Now I am doing even better in that part of my life.

 

And when I say self-improvement ... I'm talking about people believing that they have met their expectations of what an improved person is in their eyes. Some people go through this process in baby steps and some go through it in one big step after a big event in their life. The people who help here are trying to help those people climb out of that hole they are in and accomplish whatever their current step of self-improvement is at that moment.

[Caldus]

Try PMing a moderator on here about it.

[avman]

I PM'd you the problem post. And yes we will suspend members for repeatedly using profanity. We do warn people before taking that step but if the warnings are ignored we have little choice.

[Empathy]

You pmed me the problem post after I asked what I'd done wrong. Thank you. I appreciate it. But I just wish that I could have been told what I'd done wrong at the same time you sent me the warning. I was also told that I wasn't being suspended yet and that if I did it again I would be. Yet when I tried to post I found myself suspended.

[avman]

But I just wish that I could have been told what I'd done wrong at the same time you sent me the warning

 

The warning told you it was for inappropriate language. That IS telling you what you had done wrong. As I explained to you in a PM you were not suspended. The forum makes you wait awhile before posting again so that people cannot flood the forum with post after post. Otherwise spammers create automated programs which flood the forum with useless junk.

[Empathy]

When I said I wanted to know what I'd done wrong I meant that I wanted to know specifically. I knew that I was warned for profanity I just didn't know what post I used profanity in.

[7CardStud]

Funny... Why did u ever post this? Really... Did u want to start an argument? Thats all that has come from this haha... Anyways, if u dont like the topics on the board, well then u have your right not to even look at them... Also if u don't like the advice some people give, give your own advice, but if you don't know how to respond, well then to be honest, you shouldn't even be here.

 

Thanks,

Sven