Jump to content

aries

Members
  • Posts

    51
  • Joined

Everything posted by aries

  1. Do yourself a favor...you mentioned depression.......go see a therapist. they wil help you find the answers you are looking for within yourself. Things will get easier. Be strong
  2. Even though you may not realize it ..you may be feeling a sense of rejection subconsciously. I am now 28 and just broke up after 3 1/2 years. I have come to realize.....NOT EVERYONE IS MEANT TO BE TOGETHER NO MATTER HOW GREAT THINGS ARE> no matter how hard you may try....its just not meant to be. This is what you have to learn to accept and everything will be so much easier. My M/O is now....IF IT WAS MEANT TO BE>>>IT WILL BE(has helped me a ton in accepting things) You must have confidence in yourself that you are a good person and have something to offer someone. You cant sit and dwell about this woman as it will be wasted energy and possibly unhealthy for you. Pick yourself up and get out there. This world is FULL of potential partners and friends. Meet some new people. If it is really bothering you about what your friends think re: get togethers....i would talk to them and let them know that your friendship with them is important...and that there is NO reason for them to not invite you because we are all mature adults and it just didnt work. Just make sure that you do what you have to do to get over this situation so that they can be confident that everything would be ok. move on and "show up for your life" - Wish you the best.
  3. Sometimes.....when someone breaks it off with someone...they come to realize that they made a mistake. Sounds like he still has interest.
  4. Hey......give her a little time to miss you. Send her a nice card in the mail telling her that you understand things got sour.....but you are willing to make changes to make the both of you happy. Try and find one of those cards where it says everythign you are feeling right now. I hope it will warm her heart. If you wanna talk..you can PM me anytime.
  5. his lowered drive may also be physiological. it is proven that as men gain weight..there testosterone decreases. At one point I had gained alot of weight which i have since lost.....and it killed my drive. Eating habits can also have something to do with it.
  6. WOW ...sounds exactly like my situation. Except she wasnt into it. Becasue i voiced my opinion.....we are no longer together. On a supposed break....who knows what will happen in the future. What I have to say is this.....have you ever tried to seduce him. Do you make fun of him for gaining a little extra padding? In a friendly manner try and have him join in on activities that will allow him to beter himsefl...there by increasing his self esteem. Try seducing him. Now that My ex and I are no longer together......I thinkback and see how I could have handled the situation differently in order to get her into it. Maybe try playing out one of his fantasies. Tell you what.....PM me and we can chat all you want. hope to har from you. "love is heavenly....but hurts like hell."
  7. Well its been a few weeks now....we spoke earlier in the week and she said she may or may not "date". I told her that was unacceptable to me if we were on a break....so we broke it off totally. Ive been doing pretty well until today. I really miss her sooooo much. I just dont know if i should call her. My friends say no.....but i just want to speak to her. What should I do? By missing her I came to understand that I have done alot of things wrong. My attitude sucked. I dont know if i should just move on or do whatever i can to get her back. Im hurting.
  8. Lets not lose sight...fist he must tak th first step. Any exercise is better than none. Start running or doing some sort of exercise to begin with so you can find a groove. if you start trying to do some sort of heavy duty routine right fomr the start....you will hurt yourself, find it to difficult.. and will probably quit. i will try and post a god routine for the beginner which is meant to just gt you in the gym for the first month ...then take it from there. Just a not .......the Body for Life routine that was mentioned earlier by someone else is excellent. I say that as someone who has been working out since I was 17 years old..now 28. Lik anything else it requires dedication ...but it really is good.
  9. Just to get better aqcuainted with exercises , supplements, and mealsconducive to good health and body image.....do yourself a favor and pick up a fitness magazine at the store. If you really want to get into fitness and read about diets supplenmets and work-out regiments...I would say get an issue of " Muscle & Fitness" yes the guys in there are huge...butthat doesnt mean you have to be. It will just be used as an educational tool that will help you find your own pace. Go on link removed I was able to get a subscription for $4 for the year. But go out and buy your first issue as it would take 4-6 weeks to get the first issue.
  10. As someone who just broke up........if you feel there are feelings that need to be expressed....write a letter or email. end it on a positive note. then do NC. I recently broke up with someone becasue I wasnt happy. A couple of weeks later i realized I was making a big mistake and we just really needed to speak and feed each others needs. We got to comfortable. needless to say she pushed no contact for awhile..but i wanted to discuss the situation. In the end......We are done for good. Do yourself a favor...express your feelings then move on. if it was meant to be ...you will be togther again. Let him miss you...allow yourself to miss him. you will rejoin with renewed passion and sense of clarity for whats really important in the relationship. i wish you the best.
  11. Thanks raykay......made very good points
  12. So now im going crazy.........I broke up with her becasue i kept the sexual frustration inside for quite sometime. We have spoken about it before ....but would always revert back to the same old thing. Well its been a week now since we've broken up. I am going crazy. I miss her so much. She was such a great person and friend. Marriage material. the only thing lacking was the sex drive. I'm starting to wonder if i made a mistake. I spoke to her ysterday and she thinks that a break from each other would be good for us. Im so affraid now that she might find someone better and move on. I know that alot of her friends who are now married had broken up with their spouses during the dating stage for a significant amount of time and wound up getting back together eventually. I just dont know what to think right know. Good women are hard to find. She is one of the few. Im just wondering if sexual compatibility is really that important when you have everything else.
  13. Well now im all screwed up. I really love this girl....everything except the sex was great. I miss her so much. I dont know what to do. arrrrrrrrrggggggggg this sucks.
  14. Thanks goddess for the advice. We havent spoken on the phone or in person..but have emailed each other a couple of times. As far as she is saying...she thinks/ understands that we need to be apart right now as I may have issues that need to be worked on that may have affected how I felt about the realtionship as a whole. There are so many things that I want to work on and advance in. Maybe I'll figure out that the sexual aspect isnt important afterall. Says that some time apart would be good for us...and that whether we get back together or not.....it will b for the best. That makes me care about her even more. But it makes me so happy that we can communicate on friendly terms. She wil forever be in my heart...and my best friend. SHE IS A GREAT GIRL....we'll see waht the future holds for us. What I've learned from this........You must love yourself before you can expect to love another - or be loved back. "show up for your life"
  15. UPDATE: Well on friday evening....we broke up. I told her that i wasnt happy. She told me "well I hope you find the sex slave you want." That kind of makes me realize that she will never understand...because it wasnt about that AT ALL. I also never made it seem that way either. i just wanted intimacy that is usually found in a relationship. Even some passionate kissing or something. I feel so bad. I cared about her veery much and obviously still do. I guess I just need to let her go and let her find someone better suited for her. I will miss her ALOT. Havent spoken to her since the break up. Dont know if I should call her or not.
  16. Well at this point......we have spoken about it previsously. As I said in the first post......It goes back to te same old thing.....rather quickly I might add. i feel like I have been holdig it in and not getting what I want for so long...that my feelings have changed. Please dont misunderstand....this isnt really about "SEX SEX SEX" but more about intimacy with each other. I have started to feel as if love isnt th only bond between two people. And that there my be aother better suited for me. I guess I sorta feel like I have already made a decision from with in. When we do become intimate....it isnt even exciting anymore. I almost feel like she doesnt know herself sexually, and theredfore cant tell me. I definitely feel as if I were to marry her.....and continue the way we are...I would DEF cheat on her eventually. I care about her....but the intimate connection is gone. I APPRECIATE EVERYONE'S MATURE THOUGHTS> I Think at this point I see myself being alone for a while and just working on ME. Now I know by me saying that ...someone is gonna say that maybethe problem is from within myself. That quite possibly may be part of it. Who knows. If I was to break up....how should I go about it? I just totally fear that she wil ust freak out right in front of me. I dont know if I can handle that knowing that I am hurting her. oh boy.
  17. Please advise...men & women welcome to comment: I am 28 years old. My G/F is 29. For a long time now I have been having doubts about us. We have been together for 3 1/2 years. I care about her very much and I know she loves me to death...she puts up with me...she must The thing is that I dont feel like we really have romantic chemistry. She is my best friend, and I trust her with anything; yet I cant confidently say that she is my lover. I am very sexual and she is not. I have spoken to her twice about this in the past and we tried to work on it. But it always goes back to the same old thing. When we do have relations....its more just to get to the end and thats it. Im very experimental, and like to have fun at it. She isnt. It is always such a dissappointment for me. I would ask her what she likes...or what she would have me do to make it enjoyable for her...but she either says she doesnt know....or that everything is fine. She would tell me that sex isnt the most important thing in a relationship and I tried to buy into that for a long time. But now I feel that it is JUST AS important as all of the other factors such as trust and friendship. I am at the point where I dont really feel connected to her and look at other women CONSTANTLY. I am approached by, or complimented by women all the time. Yet I stay with her cause I love her. I just dont feel as though I am getting what I need. What do you guys/gals think? Obviously a strong lasting relationship is more than just love alone. If I do decide to break up with her....I dont know how to say it/ bring it up. I REALLY DONT want to hurt her. I also dont want to let her go. I will miss her as I have grown so much since I have know her; in many ways. We hardly ever argue & financially we see eye to eye. There just isnt any spark. I know if I mention a split....it will hit her hard cause i dont think she sees anything wrong. this has been killing me for a long time now. Any mature suggestions, thoughts or personal experiences? Please help me find my way.
  18. Emotions are not logical. there is no rhyme or reason.....just is.
  19. When i was younger my parents did the same thing to me. After and adjustment period and starting at a new school. It was the best thing the could have ever happened. Where we moved to has shaped who i am today and would never move back. Trust me I was there too. it will get better as you meet new friends and learn what there is to do around you. Wish you the best
  20. I love a girl who can carry herself well.........adn if she knows how to walk well in a pair of nice heels.....woof woof
  21. Im sorry to hear about your experience. As a guy.....i would always caution a girl in those types of situations. When drinkning heavily......things can get out of hand and no one even knows how the situation escalated to that point. I would say that before you accuse the guy of rape......please be sure within yourself that you tried to stop him. I definitely think he took advantage. Only you can answer if he took it further than that. I am glad that you have been able to deal wiht the situation with in yourself
  22. Sorry for asking AN2004.....but maybe we are in the same boat...so if i may......what exactly is it that u are trying to figure out wiht other women? You mentioned other issues....so i want to be sure that you dont mean those. So Now that you have grown ....what is your take on the whole passion/emotional stability thing? Do you think it is possible to find both....or is it one or the other?
  23. I am 27...she is 28. We do not live together. I will give u the latest update later today/tonight...... for all the help.
  24. AN2004: question.....so you say....7 month removed..........do you NOW see it the same way as she had mentioned? Does the passion need to be there as along wiht everything else?
  25. As you posted: ""on the other hand, i have a very good friend in your same position right now. he is currently living with his girlfriend of 5 years. she has all the amazing qualities he could possibly desire, yet the sexual aspect is lacking. needless to say, he is extremely dissatisfied and unhappy, sticking around in hopes that things change. my question is, what if things don't change? will you go on living the rest of your life asking "what if?" or being resentful because you stayed in a relationship, unfulfilled? and then what if you two get married? it will be that much harder and "stickier" to break it off then. "" Tis is how i have been feeling. It has been an issue for a long time. We have been toghether for 3 years now. We dont really argue///and are on the same page when it comes to finances, and compromise in other areas. I will speak to her today and see if she thinks this all would be to much for her. At this point I really feel it is something necessary for me in a relationship. I dont want to live my life suffering in silence. JUST TO LET YOU ALL KNOW.....I APPRECIATE EVERYONE'S INSIGHT TO MY PROBLEM HERE. YOU HAVE ALL HELPED ME THINK MORE CLEARLY ABOUT THIS IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER///// KEEP POSTING
×
×
  • Create New...