My Boyfriend sent intimate video of us to his friends, he doesnt understand why Im upset

[Bothered2021]

42 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

@Bothered2021  This is why, it's in her OP.  He wanted to brag about how he was getting a certain kind of sex.

What a piece of garbage.

I get that. I mean I just don’t  get his thought process. No matter what, you don’t do that to someone you claim to value. Idk

[StillBelivees81]

I haven't gone to the authorities...  For a few reasons ...  first I truly don't want to hurt him ..second,  I haven't had time,  and third,  we live in a very rural area where everyone knows everyone and he is very prominent in the community,  the cops wouldn't do a thing.  I am 99% positive it would go nowhere. 

 

However , last night his mother called me and literally begged me to come talk to her.. So I did.  And I feel better having told her the truth.  He had told her that we  broke up because I thought he was involved with another woman .. So she wanted my side of the story.  And she got it too .. .. every dirty detail ..  

She was so shocked at his behavior. but she was very supportive,  which I really needed at the moment.  

Hes just a bad guy ..  all there is to it. I guess it's just another lesson learned 

[LaHermes]

8 minutes ago, StillBelivees81 said:

he is very prominent in the community,

Well, that's how these so-called pillars of the community get away with the things they do. No one calls them on their behaviour, until someone eventually does, when he oversteps himself next time round. As he will.

Yeh, he's a bad guy, but you don't want to hurt him.  

[boltnrun]

He didn't care about hurting you.

[Bothered2021]

7 hours ago, StillBelivees81 said:

I haven't gone to the authorities...  For a few reasons ...  first I truly don't want to hurt him ..second,  I haven't had time,  and third,  we live in a very rural area where everyone knows everyone and he is very prominent in the community,  the cops wouldn't do a thing.  I am 99% positive it would go nowhere. 

 

However , last night his mother called me and literally begged me to come talk to her.. So I did.  And I feel better having told her the truth.  He had told her that we  broke up because I thought he was involved with another woman .. So she wanted my side of the story.  And she got it too .. .. every dirty detail ..  

She was so shocked at his behavior. but she was very supportive,  which I really needed at the moment.  

Hes just a bad guy ..  all there is to it. I guess it's just another lesson learned 

I wouldn’t go to the authorities either. I know that what he did was repulsive and scummy. But I don’t think in his twisted mind he thought what he was doing was going to hurt you. He assumed his little gang of buddies would be impressed with him and he could have an inflated ego. He’s disgusting but I don’t think what he did was full of malice or any desire to ruin your reputation. 
What also confirms his ***ty character is telling his mother you thought he was seeing someone else. He took no responsibility for the break up and instead made it look like you were the reason for it. I’m glad you are done with him. He’s untrustworthy and at 51, it’s probably too late for him to ever grow up

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, StillBelivees81 said:

his mother called me and literally begged me to come talk to her... .. every dirty detail ..  

True you may not get any legal satisfaction, it varies from  jurisdiction to jurisdiction as to what 'revenge porn' is and if it's criminal or civil.

Hopefully chatting with his mother gave you the closure you needed.  He's a creep, unfortunately. Delete and block him.

[bellaje]

Get out, there will always be more. You are being used. Don't discuss, explain, or excuse. Leave. Distance. Just get out.

[Carnatic]

Glad to see you ended the relationship. I have a friend who recently ended a relationship for a similar reason. She found out her boyfriend who she had only started seeing a few months prior (but who was a long time mutual friend of her and her previous boyfriend, but that's a whole other story) had made videos of other girls he had been with (presumably consensually) and then shared them with girls he hoped to sleep with (non-consensually). One of the girls he showed a video told her friends about this creep and it turned out one of her friends knew him and it became known what he had done.

[YummIumI]

WOW this is so disrespectful 

[East4]

Glad you ended it. 

It is still worth it reporting this creep to the authorities, because :

1) it will establish a police record of the illegal distribution of intimate videi without your consent. Next time he does it, and he will, it will be a recurrent offence. Perhaps another woman before you, has already filed a complaint for the same transgression. 

2) do not assume that the police will do nothing. You may meet the right police officer with enough integrity to take your complaint to heart. 

The police can make this creep and his friends delete all copies of the video and remove it from any website, if they stooped so low to broadcast it. I would not be surprised. 

What this creep is doing, is beyond despicable and is illegal. It is a case of sl** - shaming and there are multiple cases of women taking their lives, as a result of being s**t shamed.