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Bothered2021

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  1. Not working isn’t an option, unless you’re an heir to a massive fortune. You can love him all you want but that won’t make up for struggling the rest of your life with someone who contributes nothing. I would express to him that he needs to talk, listen and make a plan to secure a job or it’s over.
  2. I don’t think you are wrong for how you feel about the situation. I do think it makes 0 sense to be in a “secret” relationship
  3. I wouldn’t go to the authorities either. I know that what he did was repulsive and scummy. But I don’t think in his twisted mind he thought what he was doing was going to hurt you. He assumed his little gang of buddies would be impressed with him and he could have an inflated ego. He’s disgusting but I don’t think what he did was full of malice or any desire to ruin your reputation. What also confirms his ***ty character is telling his mother you thought he was seeing someone else. He took no responsibility for the break up and instead made it look like you were the reason for it. I’m glad you are done with him. He’s untrustworthy and at 51, it’s probably too late for him to ever grow up
  4. I get that. I mean I just don’t get his thought process. No matter what, you don’t do that to someone you claim to value. Idk
  5. His word is worthless. He proved he’s a liar and a manipulator
  6. Cute. Classic maneuver. You don’t trust him so he does something untrustworthy? Doesn’t make sense. He did it because he is sneaky and a liar. Newsflash to him, now you trust him less. Smh. Then he tries the whole I wasn’t sure if I saw a future with you? Should have said, nah you don’t, bye. You are still finding evidence of his sneaky behavior and he’s really laying on the guilt trip. He wants you to fully trust him after being untrustworthy and continuing to do so. That’s a NO. He doesn’t deserve your trust and you’re just going to end up hurt and miserable constantly suspecting him of lying and finding trace evidence. I can’t stand the manipulation tactics people use. Do things wrong and make the person you are betraying look like the one with an issue. Sick
  7. ***?! I don’t understand why he would want his friends to see him or you naked. First he violated your privacy and ultimately shows you can’t trust him. Gross. But why would he want his friends to see him have sex and why would they want to see it? Yeah people love porn. Totally normal. Porn starring your friends, kinda weird….
  8. Well if you’re in a committed relationship, taking a number from a random girl, texting her and gauging your connection, while “falling for her”, and keeping this “connection” from your girlfriend, you are the person who would cheat. Sometimes relationships gets stale or you hit a rough patch. You work through it or end it, and then take numbers from random girls. It seems like you are justifying your actions because you “know it’s over”. Problem is, your girlfriend doesn’t know, you haven’t actually ended it and now there’s a third party.
  9. I agree with the others who say that he’s the one your problem should be with. And if he cheated in the past you shouldn’t have stayed. It’s hard to get over and will literally drive you crazy. What’s worse is it was with a past co worker. Which means you will worry constantly because he has to work everyday until retirement. It’s not worth it in my opinion. He’s just not trustworthy. Now about the smiley face. I think it’s tacky of the woman who drew it. Especially if she knows about you. Also, why draw it if you aren’t flirting or wanting some kind of reaction? I draw 0 things on other people’s notes and I especially don’t draw smiley faces. Someone likened it to teachers grading papers. A little different. I’ve never had a teacher beyond possibly 6th grade draw a smiley face on my paper. Anyway, I am gonna assume he does act super flirty and that’s how they are going about it.
  10. I totally get what you’re saying. I just don’t know that this example defines who he is as a person. I could be wrong. I don’t know him or their relationship obviously. I just think from my perspective and I would be upset he didn’t offer but I guess I don’t have a problem waiting for AAA or asking for help. I also wouldn’t have a problem telling him that I would prefer he make the trip to help me if that’s what I really wanted
  11. That’s kind of what I was trying to say. In a nutshell, you have to communicate your displeasure or disappointment. And I agree that men, well women too, can be completely oblivious to what someone else finds a big deal or important.
  12. Not at all “When he answered I mentioned that my car wouldn't start and I wasn't sure what the problem was, it had just been in the shop for routine maintenance the prior week. He asked if I thought it was the battery and I said, I wasn't sure, but the car hadn't given me any indication that the battery might be bad. He asked if I had jumper cables, and I said I did. He then proceeded to tell me to walk around the parking lot, look for someone friendly and ask if they will give me a jump. His logic was, "Well, if it's the battery we will know right away and if it's not we can eliminate that immediately. If you can just get a jump to get home it will save me frommaking a trip out there." The market is probably 15 minutesaway from where we live. I hung up and sat in the car dumbfounded for a few minutes because what I had expected was "Where are you...I'm on my way." she MENTIONED her car problem. He told her to ask someone to save him the trip. She didn’t say “no I really need you to come”.
  13. That’s awesome. I’m not saying that it’s not nice to run and help. I’m not saying he wasn’t insensitive or that it wouldn’t have been better for him to offer. I’m not saying she shouldn’t be upset. I’m just saying it’s not the end of the world. Had she expressed herself and still been met with him not caring, that would be different to me.
  14. These all seem more serious than a dead battery. And if she said I’d like you to come help and he said no, I would see this more negatively. From the post he told her to ask a friendly stranger, they hung up and then she felt upset. Rightfully so that he didn’t volunteer. However he may not see a woman with a dead battery as a damsel in distress. Maybe he grew up with moms or sisters who never asked for help so to him it’s not a big deal. We don’t know the background history. And she didn’t tell him she didn’t want to or anything. Idk
  15. I wouldn’t have this problem because I have AAA and I have asked a stranger to jump me. It’s quicker than waiting for someone to drive to me. And to be fair, I literally took my jumper cables out of the trunk and walked to the front of my car and two people asked if I needed help. That being said, I would be pissed if I called and he didn’t say “I’ll be right down there”. At least throw the offer out there. Then you can decide how to proceed. I think your partner should be someone you can count on to jump up and rescue you when you need them to. And I would be offended. But I would only feel like this was a deal breaker if I expressed how I felt, such as not wanting to ask a stranger and wanting him to help me, and he wouldn’t come help me. Even if he’s 15 mins away, a stranger in the parking lot is already there 🤷🏻‍♀️Even though we are women we are completely able to take care of ourselves. I can purchase and use AAA. I can also find someone to help me in the parking lot. Nobody expects a woman to go rescue their bf/husband in this situation. What if neither of you had cellphones or they were dead etc. you would find a way then. And in the end, you did find someone.
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