Help me someone

[personwithcomputr]

I am new to this so bear with me.

I'm a high schooler and it is the summer at the time of posting this. I do not have many friends, no friend group, and I'm bad at interactions. I have no friends because I tried to be cooler by doing some stuff that got me in trouble. It did work but I realized I didn't like hanging out with bad people so now I have no friends. Now this cooler girl likes me, she looks better than me, has more friends than me, talks more, does more. A mutual friend told me that she likes me so we went to hang out with her friends, it went fine, then a second time, but we didnt really talk much. 

 

She and her friends are cooler than me, and I will ask her out, her friend says it WILL work, but I feel like if it even does she is gonna get really bored of me and dump me, and I'm gonna go back to having no friends again. Now I feel insecure about how I look, really uncomfortable, so I have to work out now and I'm feeling less happy about something that I dreamed of. How do I be less boring, what do I do, I never had a girlfriend before and she has. >:

[Wiseman2]

15 minutes ago, personwithcomputr said:

I never had a girlfriend before and she has. 

Is this a friendship or same sex dating you are seeking?

[Betterwithout]

Compatibility is a huge factor when dating.  it sounds like you are more introverted and that's fine.  If your "cooler girl" is extremely extroverted, the opposites could attract, but could also cause problems.  The advice I always stick with is, you need to like/love yourself before you can truly like/love another.  Keep up with the working out, and find new ways to build your confidence.  Even introverted people can become super confident with some work.  Good luck with the "cooler girl".

 

[smackie9]

Focus on making friends...good friends. And never think you are lesser than them, they are just people and they have insecurities like yourself. Everyone does. The more relaxed you are the more reward you will get. Don't push for things, just be kind, funny, bright, positive, and friendly. Good things will come to you.

[personwithcomputr]

@Wiseman2 Sorry a typo, she has dated a guy before, and im a guy who has never dated anyone before, so i feel inferior

[melancholy123]

You sound like a young teen and if I am right, believe me when I say almost all teens feel inferior and have low self esteem and beat themselves up about how they look, act, dress.  Keep going to the gym to work out, make some friends there.  To have a friend you have to be a friend.

Get up to speed on the music your peers like, join a club, get another hobby, get yourself out there to meet people and develop some self confidence.

Ask that girl out for coffee or whatever and get to know her.  It all takes time and you will feel better as you grow.

[Andrina]

A gf can't be the sole center of your universe, because yeah, she will feel smothered. Like melancholy said, join a club or get a hobby you can be passionate about--a great way to make friends. 

Confidence is the biggest attractor, so get rid of your downer mentality. Each decent person has something to offer, so start practicing positive self talk. Negativity and self pity get really old, really fast, no matter how cute someone thinks you are.

And get the mindset that you'll be okay even if a breakup happens. Especially because teens usually don't marry the first person they date. Usually, people have many dating experiences throughout their young years while learning what works for them and what doesn't. Good luck.

[Rose Mosse]

On 6/8/2021 at 11:03 AM, personwithcomputr said:

She and her friends are cooler than me, and I will ask her out, her friend says it WILL work, but I feel like if it even does she is gonna get really bored of me and dump me, and I'm gonna go back to having no friends again. Now I feel insecure about how I look, really uncomfortable, so I have to work out now and I'm feeling less happy about something that I dreamed of. How do I be less boring, what do I do, I never had a girlfriend before and she has. >:

How about not asking her out, working out, feeling good about yourself and not having any pressure while you're feeling low. When this passes as it surely will you may feel a bit more up to asking her out. Who cares what her friend says. Do what you want to do and your main priority should always be ensuring your peace of mind, good health and well being. 

Don't worry about those other friends. Keep on the straight and narrow and ditch the bad influences. Join arts classes or extracurricular programs after school, sports leagues/teams and make new friends. I had a ball in photography and metal and wood work.