Help! - Dealing with a toxic aggressive coworker

[mical]

Really need some advise here.

Since January I started a new career (which I love) and have been working with a very toxic, aggressive coworker. She always gossips and instead of working on a team, she treats us as competitors and has absolutely no empathy, a really vicious person.

Even during our onboarding, she would try and make the group report to her and she's not our boss. If we showed up at 9:00 am instead of 8:30 am she would want to know about it. If you asked a question several times she would get angry and call you names in front of others.

I always tried to be polite, calm and friendly with others. Did my work which was audited and the director even wrote me to say well-done. However, this person is just out to get me, micromanages me looking for anything trivial to report to upper management. I believe she is doing this because she is trying to play politics and do anything she can to reach the top while pushing everyone else down in a ruthless way.

It got so bad that my other coworker who's the most senior in the company told me to go to HR and document everything. Here are some things she did

 

Incident #1 - during training my other nice coworker whom I am covering did an exercise not knowing that I would be doing it for training. No big deal! The problematic coworker violently slammed her first on the desk, started shouting and yelling, swearing, gossiping. The thing is that this was just a small task and she was saying we don't know how to communicate, so she reported this to upper management.

Incident #2 - my boss told me to review the company policies and procedures in the morning which I did and then to some tasks. That problematic coworker was watching everything I was doing and asked how many XYZ did I do in the last hour and I just said I'm tackling those after lunch as I'm going through some policies and procedures (which was agreed with my supervisor, just didn't feel I had to tell her). She shouted a swearword in polish and started accusing me of not doing work in front of the team. (I actually do my work well and the most senior person said I do well). She reported me to upper management. It was very trivial.

Incident #3 - I asked for help or her opinion and she said "What you think you have a personal trainer and I should help you whenever you want all day?" (and no I don't bother her with questions all the time, this was the first several weeks of my training on the job!)

I finally had to tell her look we are on the same team, she is not my boss, we are here to support and help eachother.

Incident #4 - During training made a human error for a very trival thing (which the senior guy helped with and was fine), she accused me of lying saying I understood something when I didn't, which was completely false. Her way of training is she would say something fast and then say "everything clear" and sure in theory but in practice I think it's normal to have a question and she would say "You are lying! You said it was clear!" She started to swear at me in front of others.

but this was during first weeks of training. For something very trivial. Now since I look back, those were not even important. And I actually do a good job as the director reached out and told me!

So I politely told her I would like to have a meeting to to discuss any issues and ways to improve communication, etc.  She then said "We are not friends, I will never have any meeting". Actually I later learned a colleague heard the way she was talking to me that day and reported her to the boss.

So after this I reported to my boss who felt sorry for me and said the workplace shouldn't be like that. Everything was ok for the next months, but since my boss left a few weeks ago, this coworker is trying to act like our manager and demanding we give her updates and is micromanaging our work like crazy. She even again reported me AND this time the senior colleague for another very trivial thing which was a judgement error on her part.

The thing is, this person lacks empathy and is very cold. Instead of feeling like a team member, she treats us like competitors and wants to act like a dictator and have us report to her. I stood my ground and said "we are coworkers so we are on the same level and I'll gladly help out, but you are not my supervisor, so I don't report to you and you don't report to me. If you need help with anything I'll gladly support you though."

Everyone else is fantastic and we get along great!! I actually had several others come to me and say that coworker is vicious and mean. The problem is that she is needed in the organization because she has few years experience in the company...

Not sure what else to do...I hate having this corporate psychopathic gossiping vicious person watching our every move, looking for anything trivial to report and make her look better. Actually I learned from the most senior guy she made a huge company error last year that could have cost the company $50,000 in damages and it took her two months to learn during training (but yet would yell after our first few weeks)

Im a very positive, friendly, hardworking guy, but dealing with this is just getting to be a bit much now... Any suggestions?

 

 

[Jibralta]

1 hour ago, mical said:

I actually had several others come to me and say that coworker is vicious and mean. The problem is that she is needed in the organization because she has few years experience in the company...

Not sure what else to do...I hate having this corporate psychopathic gossiping vicious person watching our every move, looking for anything trivial to report and make her look better. Actually I learned from the most senior guy she made a huge company error last year that could have cost the company $50,000 in damages and it took her two months to learn during training (but yet would yell after our first few weeks)

Oh man, I could have written some of this a couple of years ago. Two jobs ago. In my case, she actually was a manager. She'd slam her fist on the desk, too. She gossiped behind people's backs, got them in trouble for things they didn't do. 

Everyone knew what she was like. They whispered about it, warned all the new people. But it didn't matter. She was highly valued there. You know why? Because the owners were like that too, deep down. It was disappointing, but also a great learning experience.

1 hour ago, mical said:

Im a very positive, friendly, hardworking guy, but dealing with this is just getting to be a bit much now... Any suggestions?

Have you considered changing jobs? You mentioned this is a new career, so I can see why you might be inclined to stick it out for a while.

[Tinydance]

I actually think you should keep documenting everything she's doing and make a formal complaint to HR and present all your evidence. Encourage other colleagues who told you she's mean to also make a complaint to HR. She's not your manager so her behaviour is COMPLETELY unacceptable. Even if she was your boss, she can't do things like slam her fist on the table and yell and swear. It's really unprofessional and should not be tolerated. She is actually bullying you and other staff so you should formally report this.

[Lambert]

keep documenting and keep standing up to her. Stay professional though. 

I would not be nice and friendly to her. be professional and cold. Be nice to everyone you do like.  

Some people will use your high standards for yourself, against you.  Don't let her. 

If the company is allowing this, you have to re-consider, is it such a great company?

 

 

[Batya33]

I'm really sorry you are experiencing this.  It does sound like in some ways she is your supervisor, at least based on what you wrote.  Any chance she is in a relationship -personal -with upper management or there is some non-work reason they're keeping her on?  Perhaps request a meeting with her and her superior so that if she says know her superior will know.  Keep your distance and refrain from asking her for any help or assistance unless it's by email with her superior CC'd.

[Rose Mosse]

It doesn't sound like she's hoping to climb the ladder. She's trying not to fall off of it or get fired. This level of defensiveness and difficulty getting along with others are signs she's close to being let go and there are probably numerous complaint against her. She has been advised by HR to document and report all incidents because of those existing complaints. 

If you like this position and it forwards your career, keep your cool and continue documenting the incidents.

Report only to your director. She is only as loud as others listen. Don't award her any attention or extra grief and don't approach her for any questions. It's clear she is not supportive or a team member. Lower your expectations there and collaborate with your other team members. 

[Tonight.majestic]

18 hours ago, Jibralta said:

Oh man, I could have written some of this a couple of years ago. Two jobs ago. In my case, she actually was a manager. She'd slam her fist on the desk, too. She gossiped behind people's backs, got them in trouble for things they didn't do. 

Everyone knew what she was like. They whispered about it, warned all the new people. But it didn't matter. She was highly valued there. You know why? Because the owners were like that too, deep down. It was disappointing, but also a great learning experience.

Have you considered changing jobs? You mentioned this is a new career, so I can see why you might be inclined to stick it out for a while.

Did the job have a high turnover rate? 

[Jibralta]

6 hours ago, Tonight.majestic said:

Did the job have a high turnover rate? 

Yes! At least 20 people came and went the first year that I was there. I stopped counting after that. But the IT guy, who had been there for 25 years, told my coworker that 500 people had come and gone since he started--the IT guy knows because he sets up and decommissions all of their computers!! That averages out to 20 people per year, which is what I'd witnessed.