Does she like me?

[Bolly14]

I’ve been talking to this girl for 2 months. She is 2 years older than me (both late teens) and is in one of my classes. We got talking over Instagram and moved to messaging at her request after about 2 weeks. For the first month and a half we texted 100-200 messages a day and we have face timed multiple times. She texts me when she’s out with her friends (idk if this is relevant). She sends selfies and funny videos of her and laughs at my jokes (IMO I’m not that funny but I guess it’s subjective or she’s humouring me). We tease each other and usually get back to each other within 2-3 hours at most (usually less than 45 mins) However in real life she doesn’t really talk to me in class (I’m a shy person and don’t have the balls to go up to her) and we only met up once for a walk late at night at her request. Lately she stopped talking to me as much and seems annoyed at me taking longer to reply and shorter answers this began after our meet-up (although it went well and we chatted for 2 hours) and worsened when I accidentally aired her (thinking she wanted to end our conversation that had been going since we first talked). I’m not sure if I like her and even if I did I’m not sure I want to risk losing her friendship over feelings that might not even be real. 
 

p.s I’m a notorious for overthinking so any advice would be appreciated.

[Wiseman2]

You need to ask her for a casual low key coffee. Don't call it a date, but see how that goes. Volleying stuff on social media won't impress women.

[Bolly14]

I wasn’t trying to impress anyone. I’m not going to lie to you she’s way out of my league so I don’t know why she’s talking to me (like will Charlotte from inbetweeners situation). I appreciate the advice though. 

[SherrySher]

If you're not sure, then it's a good possibility that you don't like her more than a friend.

As for her feelings? Hard to say. She may like you, or she may just like the ego trip of having a guy around at her beck and call.

That might change completely if and when she does get a boyfriend.

Sounds like it would be best to keep this on a friendship level. Nothing wrong with having a friend to chat to, it doesn't mean it has to be romantic, or even more than that.

[SherrySher]

39 minutes ago, Bolly14 said:

I wasn’t trying to impress anyone. I’m not going to lie to you she’s way out of my league so I don’t know why she’s talking to me (like will Charlotte from inbetweeners situation). I appreciate the advice though. 

What does that even mean? "Way out of my league".....I never understood that phrase.

She's a human being, you're a human being...if you connect, you connect.

Looks, money, status, etc, doesn't change anything if you like each other.

Looks, money status also does not suddenly make them superhuman or more worthy. I have met a lot of good looking people that were the worst type of people.

I believe a person is only truly beautiful if they have a beautiful heart.

But even so, if she does have a beautiful heart, and you connect on some level, then you must have a beautiful heart too, otherwise you wouldn't have connected at all.

I think people get so caught up in looks, money, status, popularity, that they lose focus of who and what actually makes someone worthy, and that anyone can find someone else attractive even if they are vastly different.

You need to change your way of thinking and to end the phrase "way out of my league". It has no real meaning.

If the woman you like is human and you and her find one another attractive and genuinely like one another, then that's all that matters.

[SooSad33]

If she's already being shady over expectations re: message response times, etc.  Don't even go there on expecting or wanting anything further. (than basic friendship).

Is a lot to do so much texting- like how you had in the beginning.. So, sounds like things are settling down now.. Is okay, accept & leave it at that. Where expectations don't need to be.

Remain at friendship level now.  ( less expectations), and move along.

And try not to see every girl as 'potential gf'.  Some gals are just fine with having just 'friends' with guys as well.

 

[Tinydance]

Well to me it seems she does like you and she asked you to go for a walk like a date thing. Now maybe she's getting annoyed because you don't approach her in real life in class and you haven't asked her on another date. But if you're not interested in her as more than friends then that's OK. It's not your fault if you're not into her. Bit in that case I think you need to just talk to her about it. Maybe ask her online if she wants to be just friends or more?

[Kwothe28]

I dunno, it seem to me that she does likes you enough to maintain a lot of contact at least in the beggining. Plus some stuff like laughter. Women tend to do that if they like you, even if your jokes arent funniest one. Now, that doesnt mean that she does like you, but those are some signs. How did she reacted during "date"? Did she tried to, I dunno, hug you or touch you? Also, be more assertive, if you want to talk to her in class do it. At least you know she wont blow you up. Even if you dont make it or remain friends at least you will get some experience for later so maybe you wont be that shy for next one.

[Bolly14]

7 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

I dunno, it seem to me that she does likes you enough to maintain a lot of contact at least in the beggining. Plus some stuff like laughter. Women tend to do that if they like you, even if your jokes arent funniest one. Now, that doesnt mean that she does like you, but those are some signs. How did she reacted during "date"? Did she tried to, I dunno, hug you or touch you? Also, be more assertive, if you want to talk to her in class do it. At least you know she wont blow you up. Even if you dont make it or remain friends at least you will get some experience for later so maybe you wont be that shy for next one.

She accidentally bumped into me a few times but apart from that not really. Thanks for the advice though!

[Bolly14]

8 hours ago, Tinydance said:

Well to me it seems she does like you and she asked you to go for a walk like a date thing. Now maybe she's getting annoyed because you don't approach her in real life in class and you haven't asked her on another date. But if you're not interested in her as more than friends then that's OK. It's not your fault if you're not into her. Bit in that case I think you need to just talk to her about it. Maybe ask her online if she wants to be just friends or more?

I thought it over more and I don’t really think she’s into me. She calls me “baddie” “queen” and “bestie” which doesn’t really seem like a thing you’d do to someone you’d like, she seems to be using me as more of a shoulder to cry on (occasionally telling me how much she hates her ex and her hardships) which is fine as I am able to do the same to her. Also the walk was more of a last minute thing she said she had nothing to do at the moment and asked If I wanted to go for a walk. I think the reduced replies comes from more just the friendship naturally settling down. Thanks for the advice it’s much appreciated!

[Bolly14]

8 hours ago, SooSad33 said:

If she's already being shady over expectations re: message response times, etc.  Don't even go there on expecting or wanting anything further. (than basic friendship).

Is a lot to do so much texting- like how you had in the beginning.. So, sounds like things are settling down now.. Is okay, accept & leave it at that. Where expectations don't need to be.

Remain at friendship level now.  ( less expectations), and move along.

And try not to see every girl as 'potential gf'.  Some gals are just fine with having just 'friends' with guys as well.

 

She almost always apologises or has a valid reason for not replying ASAP. I get that the texting rate couldn’t be sustained but the timing of the change a day or two after we met up and I misinterpreted her as wanting to end the conversation and “airing” her seems weird to me. And thank you for the advice!

[Bolly14]

8 hours ago, SherrySher said:

What does that even mean? "Way out of my league".....I never understood that phrase.

She's a human being, you're a human being...if you connect, you connect.

Looks, money, status, etc, doesn't change anything if you like each other.

Looks, money status also does not suddenly make them superhuman or more worthy. I have met a lot of good looking people that were the worst type of people.

I believe a person is only truly beautiful if they have a beautiful heart.

But even so, if she does have a beautiful heart, and you connect on some level, then you must have a beautiful heart too, otherwise you wouldn't have connected at all.

I think people get so caught up in looks, money, status, popularity, that they lose focus of who and what actually makes someone worthy, and that anyone can find someone else attractive even if they are vastly different.

You need to change your way of thinking and to end the phrase "way out of my league". It has no real meaning.

If the woman you like is human and you and her find one another attractive and genuinely like one another, then that's all that matters.

Ok I’ll try change my mindset it seems like a healthier way of thinking. I really appreciate you taking your time to help me. It means a lot!

[Bolly14]

8 hours ago, SherrySher said:

If you're not sure, then it's a good possibility that you don't like her more than a friend.

As for her feelings? Hard to say. She may like you, or she may just like the ego trip of having a guy around at her beck and call.

That might change completely if and when she does get a boyfriend.

Sounds like it would be best to keep this on a friendship level. Nothing wrong with having a friend to chat to, it doesn't mean it has to be romantic, or even more than that.

To be honest I think I do like I’m just scared she doesn’t like me back so I’m suppressing my feelings. 
 

I'm not sure she’s that kind of person really. She also told me she doesn’t want another relationship (as in the rest of her life as a result of past experiences) and it’s a running joke that she doesn’t believe love is real. I’m not really sure but she’s confided a lot in me considering the short time period we have known each other which leads me to believe I’m a shoulder to cry on. Which is fine by me as I can do the same.

yeah I think it would be safer to keep it at a friendship level as it’s more than likely she doesn’t like me back and I think I like her more as a friend than a potential partner. 

[Wiseman2]

10 hours ago, Bolly14 said:

I wasn’t trying to impress anyone. I’m not going to lie to you she’s way out of my league so I don’t know why she’s talking to me (like will Charlotte from inbetweeners situation). I appreciate the advice though. 

Ok. It's just a crush then. That's fine. But if you want a GF, you're going to have to create opportunities to date.

That means in real life through clubs, groups, sports, classes, side jobs, volunteering, etc.

Also get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting local single women.

[Bolly14]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Ok. It's just a crush then. That's fine. But if you want a GF, you're going to have to create opportunities to date.

That means in real life through clubs, groups, sports, classes, side jobs, volunteering, etc.

Also get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting local single women.

Ok I’ll think about that. Thanks again!

[smackie9]

Who cares if she does or doesn't, put on your swagger and smooth talk her...then make suggestions to hang out. Take it from there....that's how it's done. Even if it's friendship...a few years down the road she may want to date you because you are a little older.