Constant rejection

[wmitty]

This thread is at once depressing and comforting. Depressing because you have your life together far more than me and still haven’t had much luck, and reassuring because if it is this hard, I may as well not worry about it at all and just focus on myself until I’m in a better position.

Anyway, I knew someone who insisted on acting like any attitudes vented in private are always expressed in public - that we behave the same everywhere, at all times, regardless of context. (This man was the organizer of a social anxiety Meetup, and I believe he was a fool just stroking his own ego.) I’m not going to fall into the trap of assuming your negativity shows in your dates...at least not until recent ones. Like you said, you’re saturated with bitterness at this point.

It really shouldn’t be this hard, and your negativity is understandable. But I can’t help agreeing that it’s become a roadblock and you need to figure out how to either press forward or step back. I’m no expert in either of those, so all I can say is that I hope your luck changes, mate.

[Brice]

On 3/18/2021 at 11:11 AM, Rose Mosse said:

It's a bad idea if you're keeping a collection of exes around or women that you've slept with or had intimate relationships with. This would be a lack of boundaries on your part. It would be hard for any woman to want to date you knowing that you have female friends like this whom you've had history with. 

I hope you receive an answer soon and she doesn't string you along. I think your reasoning for staying friends will shoot you in the foot unfortunately whether sooner or later. 

I dont have a string of them at all.  I am friendly with all of my ex’s.  I’ve never ended a relationship on bad terms.  I would help each of them if they called me.  Life is too short for holding grudges.   I have never given anyone I’m with any reason to not trust me.   
she can take it how she pleases I guess.   Nothing much to lose at this point.  

[Ian4996]

Writing a letter to someone you had 1 date with more than 3 months ago is kinda creepy! 😬 Especially after you've already sent her flowers (despite everyone in your previous thread telling you not to!).

Loads of 1st dates don't lead to 2nd dates (happened to me tons of times!), and I totally get how frustrating it is when you feel that you were a good match but she doesn't. But you just got to take it on the chin and move on to someone else!

 

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, zidan zidan 25 said:

1. Do not skip breakfast 2. Eat regular meals 3. Eat plenty of fruit and veg 4. Drink plenty of water

Are you sure this diet and scamming will bring dating success?

[Betterwithout]

No dating success or no second dates happens for a wide range of reasons:
-fate,

-incompatibilities,

-Covid,

-no chemistry,

-looks,

-confidence,

-bad gut feelings,

-something that was said, 

and more.

 

It's all a sheer numbers game too.  Some find love on the first person they meet in person, some take several years to find a great person.
 

Take a break from it.  Do something else.
Go back to it refreshed.

[SooSad33]

You just need to keep moving on.. Live.. have a life!

Even without a woman there.  I am not involved and I am fine with that.. When you are involved, it takes time & energy.  There are expectations and a LOT out there are messed up in their own ways- whether it's from abuse, neglect, trust issue's, etc.

I just don't have that much 'want' to go there again, lol.  I've been there a few times and I just can't do it 😕 .

So, I am just doing my own things now.  I have my shows, some hobbies/crafts I keep up with & I see a friend on occasion for coffee.

I will not 'sit in negatives' over not being in a relationship- especially with all I have experienced.

Should you have success with someone out there, that's great- just no expectations - in order to not feel so hurt in all of this.

You need to remain focused as well on yourself.  We never know what might happen tomorrow, but we also need to try and carry on.  Not get lost in the negatives.. Tons are single as we are.. and we need to 'be okay' with this.

Keep working on it... try to accept you are fine & okay with what it is at this time.  Just be yourself 🙂 .