Am I reading too much into this?

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, TanyaJo said:

So it's been a couple of days and I've got no text/call from him. I really cannot understand men. I haven't visited the cafe yet and it feels weird to even walk past. I feel like a fool. 

Nothing to understand nothing to do with men -this is a person you are interacting with.  I've had many instances of people behaving in a way that seems to show interest in interacting with me and then not  following up/being flaky.  Happened just last month - a woman I have mutual friends with connected with me on Facebook.  we messaged and texted a lot - we have a lot in common.  We decided once we could speak by phone we would -in a few weeks.  I followed up as we planned and suggested scheduling a call.  She never responded after showing tons of enthusiasm.

  By contrast I've been in touch with another woman for a couple of months and we plan on meeting post-covid vaccine.  We've been reliably in touch for months.  Reliably.  When you find reliable people who follow up with actions on what they said in words appreciate it - it's not rare but it's also not common especially exacerbated by the added stress of covid situations.  Nothing to do with romance either -this happens in all sorts of interactions (these were platonic interactions so is yours for now as you have no idea if he is straight and/or available to date, or wants to date you.

 

But really  Ii's just called.... typical life/typical human interactions. 

I'm sorry you're disappointed.

[TanyaJo]

Sorry for dragging this..I went there again in desperate need for a coffee plus also noticing another barista on the counter. Walked in with a relief (thinking that he wasn't working today), just while grabbing my coffee, he noticed me from another corner (he was on an other chore) and waved at me and said "thank you so much for the list! my brother was so happy since he was hunting for a good list too" and I was like "yea! I haven't seen everything on that list but hope you enjoy it" and then bye bye and walked out. What a massive waste of time for everyone. No clue what happened there and it just ended so dry. 

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, TanyaJo said:

Sorry for dragging this..I went there again in desperate need for a coffee plus also noticing another barista on the counter. Walked in with a relief (thinking that he wasn't working today), just while grabbing my coffee, he noticed me from another corner (he was on an other chore) and waved at me and said "thank you so much for the list! my brother was so happy since he was hunting for a good list too" and I was like "yea! I haven't seen everything on that list but hope you enjoy it" and then bye bye and walked out. What a massive waste of time for everyone. No clue what happened there and it just ended so dry. 

No it ended well.  Not a waste of time  unless you don't want to pursue dating opportunities -then it is.  You have your answer.  He's probably not interested in dating you or getting to know you better in that way so you can put him off your radar.  When I was dating -for many years - a man was completely off my radar as far as interest level unless we had a date planned, time and place.  That mindset kept me somewhat sane.  I'm sorry you're disappointed!

[Tinydance]

It's not a waste of time. I don't think you should keep thinking that just because you're talking to guys that it has to end in dating. Some guys are simply very friendly or their job actually requires them to be super friendly. We don't have tips in Australia but I know in many other countries they do, especially in the US. So many people will act really friendly and engaging because they need to make a lot of money off tips. It doesn't mean they're leading you on, they're simply doing their job and they're trying to make customers feel welcome and enjoy their time at that establishment.

I'm actually really friendly and bubbly myself and I used to work in retail for 8 years. For 3 years I worked in an expensive department store and it actually was directly part of our role that if someone was within a metre of us, to approach the customer and ask if they need help and be very friendly. I actually received a few written and over the phone compliments from customers because I was always very friendly and nice. I genuinely really enjoy talking to people, I'm super social, so I wasn't being fake or leading anyone on. 

Also this guy might actually think you're nice and enjoy the conversation but he might have a girlfriend or he's just not romantically interested in you. You seem to think that he HAS to be interested in you and if he's not then there's just no point coming to the cafe. I think your expectations are too high and you got too hung up on this guy. You've never actually dated, just chatting. So maybe try to move on or if you can't, then choose a different cafe.

[Wiseman2]

13 hours ago, TanyaJo said:

 said "thank you so much for the list! my brother was so happy since he was hunting for a good list too" and I was like "yea! I haven't seen everything on that list but hope you enjoy it" 

What's wrong with that? He saw you, acknowledged you and thanked you.

Sounds like things turned out well. He liked your list and you've made a nice friend.

[Jibralta]

I agree, her expectations kept getting ahead of her. 

I think that people who aren't super social sometimes mistake the behavior of people who are super social as being more meaningful than it actually is. 

10 hours ago, Tinydance said:

I genuinely really enjoy talking to people, I'm super social, so I wasn't being fake or leading anyone on.

For me, it's usually an effort to chit chat or have meaningless banter with random people. I'm not super social. I like to be quiet and left alone, even when I'm with my friends! 

In the past, when I've met a super social guy, I've mistaken that super-socialness for interest. Because for me, it takes effort to be that way. I wouldn't do it if I wasn't really interested--therefore, he must be really interested. 

Nope. Doesn't work that way. People have different personalities, is all. You have to get to know them. 

 

[Hollyj]

See this as a positive, you made a new friend.  

Don't over invest.