I feel so awful. I've cheated on my boyfriend.

[smile_abbey]

Okay i feel like such a [i don't think i can say the word ?] but i'm soo disapointed in myself and i know that i can't tell any of my friends about what i've done because it was completely wrong of me and they would hate me for it, and i hate myself most of all. I cant believe i put myself in this position. Its insane, not me at all.

 

It's stupid that something so decieving like this has made me realise just how much i really now do love my boyfriend. But anyways what it came down to was me and my boyfriend getting into a obnoxious and pathetic argument, me leaving and going to the nearest place i could that i thought was best away from him. I ended up going to a guys house who was pretty much walking distance away, and in the past had a close relationship with. We know each other well and i felt like he was the only person i could go running to that would understand. He let me stay at his house and after weeping on his shoulder all night and talking about my boyfriend, who he too agreed was being a bit of a a-- hole lately, i so dumbly kissed him after he was so comfoting and assuring and i was all wubby and emotional. I guess it was all the build up and sense of everything we use to have that existed come back again all in the heat of the moment.

 

I mean i made the first move, which points all fingers at me. It kinda meant something at the time too which makes me feel like a total promiscuous [restricted word]. What makes the guilt even more overwhelming is that the guy is i dunno, sort of in a way friends with my boyfriend. Theyre in alot of classes together, have the same friends, know the same people. Their not like one on one best pals or anything, but their guys and get along and are on the same Football team! I know that if i tell my boyfriend it will get into a big adversary and he'll probably break it into a physical conflict.

 

I dont wanna see the guy i went running to get hurt because he was there for me at the time, and i was the one who encouraged the whole thing. But then i feel like i cant betray my boyfriend because he's never going to be able to trust me again, and i really still want to be with him.

 

Do i tell him ? What do i do? He's very self-conceited and if he doesn't get his own way sometimes he gets a little moody. If he finds out about what i've done i dread to think what the outcome would be. Me alone, going to another guy would make him angry and telling him i've slept with the person too

[blueangel]

Tell him. Explain to him why. You were hurting and looking for comfort but even so- it meant nothing to you. IF anything, it's taught you how much you really do love him. If he isnt understanding, then it's his fault.

 

What's a relationship if you cant be honest with each other?

 

It's best if you tell him before someone else does (you know who).

 

If I have the ability to understand your heart and why you did this and that you wish you could take it back, he should to. If otherwise, then he's not worth it...as I said above in bold.

 

It's silly to give up everytime something gets a little rocky. Either you want it to work or you dont. If you both do, then you can work it out. That's never impossible.

[krylon]

In my expierence you DON'T DO THAT. It's good that you feel guilty, but the thing is, it hurts when someone does something like that. It hurts so bad and there is nothing you can do to ease the pain, it's all about restraint and sacrifice, not comprimising. All I can say is this: Tell him how sorry you are. Good Luck.

[DN]

If you think the other guy will tell him, now or later, then I guess you are going to have to tell him. But be prepared for him to end the relationship.

 

If he does not leave and wants to stay with you, you are both going to have to come up with a better way to resolve your differences.

[greenowl88]

He does have the right to know what you've done so that he can make a decision on if he wants to stay with you or not. If you continue the relationship without telling him, the relationship will be built on lies. If you don't tell him and he finds out some other way, it will be more painful for him, and that's not right, especially if you care about him. Tell him. He deserves to know. If you truly care about him as you say you do, the right thing to do would be to be honest with him. Let him decide from there.

[SilverManic]

You need to tell him regardless, but you also need to explain to him why you did it, that you won't do it again and that you love him. He may finish with you but at least you told the truth.

GL,

~S.

[ShySoul]

A relationship needs honesty and trust. You need to be able to tell each other everything and feel secure that your relationship can handle the rough times. Be proud that things didn't go further then they did with this other guy. And realize that you are not a bad person, you made a mistake but immediately saw that and feel bad. You need to talk with your boyfriend and work things out.

 

I would also be concerned with him being conceited and wanting things his way. If you feel that he would get into a physical fight with this guy then that is a sign that he has issues he needs to work on. You need to express how you are feeling and any concerns you have. Hopefully, he will listen and agree to work on things. But if he doesn't or if he ever gets so upset it scares you, you might be wise to back off of the relationship.

[Cecelius]

I dunno how proud you should be about things not going further, exactly, but ...

 

You need to tell him. The story will get out, he will hear it and if you read a thousand posts here you will see that its the lies that make it worse. Also if it otherwise gets out, you might end up with some bad rumors.

 

As a final note, this tends to cement most young boys (and girls) views on their SO being friends with exes...