Avoidant Attachment Style?

[SweetPotatoe]

Hi everyone, I'd like to hear your experiences in case you dated / had a relationship with someone or even still may have who has an avoidant attachment style.

I would need some personal experiences and thoughts on individual core behaviours of avoidant attachment people, like how they behave.

Thanks :)

[boltnrun]

What does your therapist say about this topic? Wasn't it him or her who told you you have an anxious attachment style? Are you thinking your ex is avoid attachment?

[abitbroken]

If you are talking about the other person, maybe they just are not into you? A lot of people are quick to label someone they are dating as avoidant when it turns out they are not at all - they just have a lack of interest in you.

[MissCanuck]

Hi everyone, I'd like to hear your experiences in case you dated / had a relationship with someone or even still may have who has an avoidant attachment style.

I would need some personal experiences and thoughts on individual core behaviours of avoidant attachment people, like how they behave.

Thanks :)

 

I briefly dated someone who rather fit that bill. He was very hot and cold. Would retreat and then show up like nothing had happened, and be as kind and loving as ever. He warned me early on he had issues in relationships because of his tendency to run away sometimes, and theorized it stemmed from a rough childhood with an abusive parent. So, while the good times were good, he was always just out of arm's reach and it was tiring to deal with.

 

I still believe he is a good person at his core, but has some deep issues that would need to be resolved before he'd be capable of a true and consistent relationship. People who are truly avoidant (as opposed to just not that into you) can be lovely people in general, but very difficult to sustain a relationship with. I wouldn't suggest getting involved if they have not addressed and worked on whatever is behind the behaviour. I also wouldn't suggest sticking around if someone has not exactly indicated that they have some avoidant tendencies, because you might simply be trying to label with them with attachment issue when really it's plain old lack of interest on their part.

[1a1a]

It has always absolutely and colossally sucked and left me feeling sadder and lonelier than I did before. Whether the person you’re getting to know actually has an avoidant attachment style or they just aren’t that interested but are stringing you along, it will rip your self esteem to shreds. Run away, run away, run away

 

Also read he’s scared she’s scared. It’s a very good book on the topic

[Wiseman2]

Is this a survey or a college course you need data for? It would be best to simply assume the breakup was for some reason.

I would need some personal experiences and thoughts on individual core behaviours of avoidant attachment people, like how they behave.