Jump to content

My boyfriend (now ex) broke up with me today after I accused him of cheating

Maria89

By Maria89
in Breaking Up Advice

Recommended Posts

reinventmyself Grand Master

reinventmyself

Posted
Posted
I can easily describe what I'm thinking and I can provide real life arguments probably could find some scientific ones also.

 

Basically, if you look at how emotions and rationale is handled in ones brain, woman's brain could have been seen as a big bowl of interconnected strings. Every experience subconcious or concious is somehow connected, ergo effects other parts which in return inevitably effects decisions made.

 

Male brain can be described more like garage full of boxes, conciously or subconciously experiences will be sorted and categorized and decision making will be affected in order of affairs depending on which box or boxes is currently active.

 

That's why in general we tend to think woman emotions are more complex. It's not some urban legend, it's the truth.

 

Sadly, this biological gift girls got backfires more and more. I think society and culture have a lot to do with it. Even tho' it seems we are so strong on forcing "man be a woman and woman be a man" thing, it's sadly not based on partnership but on some sadistic point scoring who "can do better". Dating scene was never so broken.

 

Females, like it or not are basically "wired" to be "hunted" or "chased" and males are basically "wired" to do the chasing. But, as gender roles are changing, things that are wired in us cannot be achieved, cannot be fully crystallized.

 

Guy who had these kind of ty excuses and did drama over his girls drama 50 years ago would be looked upon as an ass, loser, nip cause that's just not the way to behave with someone who's your friend and also your girl.

How old are you? And you're single, I'll assume ? [emoji16]
Link to comment
figureitout23 Grand Master

figureitout23

Posted
Posted
How old are you? And you're single, I'll assume ? [emoji16]

 

I must say, I’m not getting what’s so offensive about what he’s saying.

 

While I wouldn’t phrase it the way he is, I think at its core he’s saying dating today is bass aackwards because individuals are acting in ways that does not come naturally to them.

 

I’m not even saying it has anything to do with the X or Y cheomosome or any of that, Im just saying let’s call a spade a spade, how often a day do we see on this board men and women attempting not backdoor their way into relationships through deception, by doing things that are not natural for them like trying to be ‘friends’ or leading with ‘sex’ and then the male or female object of admiration becomes a tease or a user when it was the individual to begin with who was attempting to deceive.

 

It’s unfortunate but dating can be rough.

 

#nofeelings

 

When we are emotional beings

 

Men too.

 

Where we deviate greatly is society is at fault but not for not necessarily embracing male/female archetype, but stifling people being who they are due to expectations, it’s much more acceptable to have masculine attributes than feminine.

 

Femininity unfortunately is still seen as weakness, so while I can acknowledge men and women think differently, I wouldn’t devalue men so much as to think their minds are simplistic, different yes, but complex nontheless. It’s just fretting is seen as feminine so society tends to force men to eat their emotions, doesn’t mean they aren’t there or that they don’t exist spunky, just that, that pesky male/female agenda you’re so against is actually working against you.

 

Male female we are who we are and I agree we should embrace it, embrace what our inner selves are telling us who we are, not TV or social media. At our core we are driven by instincts but unlike other animals we have a brain that makes us quite unique, where our instincts are only a small part of the puzzle.

Link to comment
reinventmyself Grand Master

reinventmyself

Posted
Posted
I must say, I’m not getting what’s so offensive about what he’s saying.

 

While I wouldn’t phrase it the way he is, I think at its core he’s saying dating today is bass aackwards because individuals are acting in ways that does not come naturally to them.

 

I’m not even saying it has anything to do with the X or Y cheomosome or any of that, Im just saying let’s call a spade a spade, how often a day do we see on this board men and women attempting not backdoor their way into relationships through deception, by doing things that are not natural for them like trying to be ‘friends’ or leading with ‘sex’ and then the male or female object of admiration becomes a tease or a user when it was the individual to begin with who was attempting to deceive.

 

It’s unfortunate but dating can be rough.

 

#nofeelings

 

When we are emotional beings

 

Men too.

 

Where we deviate greatly is society is at fault but not for not necessarily embracing male/female archetype, but stifling people being who they are due to expectations, it’s much more acceptable to have masculine attributes than feminine.

 

Femininity unfortunately is still seen as weakness, so while I can acknowledge men and women think differently, I wouldn’t devalue men so much as to think their minds are simplistic, different yes, but complex nontheless. It’s just fretting is seen as feminine so society tends to force men to eat their emotions, doesn’t mean they aren’t there or that they don’t exist spunky, just that, that pesky male/female agenda you’re so against is actually working against you.

 

Male female we are who we are and I agree we should embrace it, embrace what our inner selves are telling us who we are, not TV or social media. At our core we are driven by instincts but unlike other animals we have a brain that makes us quite unique, where our instincts are only a small part of the puzzle.

 

I agree with most of it, but the part that due to this we must be `confused' (in quotes as he stated it)

Link to comment
Spucky Apprentice

Spucky

Posted
Posted
How old are you? And you're single, I'll assume ? [emoji16]

 

29. No. There are no bad guys and girls, just bad people but I just spit how I see it and what I feel have rational basis.

 

EDIT: Also this female-male thing that happens needs balance up asap, gonna be big test for humanity, never before did both sex did such a lousy job to actually work together. Just look at it, most what males achive to get "partnership" is get new Porsche and put it on Instagram while female climbs popularity ladder that is imposed on her by doing 1000 selfies while wearing shovels of makeup to achieve "companionship" with - the owner of best Porsche.

 

Mixed female-male groups of friends that gathered around something else then fuc**ing, drinking and smoking is rare today. I remember we would do all of that, but still respected each other, hanging out cause we actually were interested in each other, no one wanted to one up each other to get something they want, we would drive around, listen to hip hop and were happy. We were more concerned about where next party would be and how society is all messed up (politics, culture, wars). Girls would hide our weed cause cops would always search us guys and we would always pay up for girls cause well they are our girls why not treat them like ladies. We didn't have a need to compete on some virtual platform.

 

Yes girls were still "confused" but you bet they were more loyal, concerned about how they gonna build up their life with SOMEONE, and they were always doing something that was useful.

 

Yes guys were still emotional midgets in most cases, but as our only idols were dads and disney movies with flavor of some ghetto legends we at least had balls to be men with men qualities 0-24 not only when it serves us (today males wear pink and shave their armpits but on the outside they are all strong and heavy). We were not scared to be emotional and simple, to be natural. We didn't ask that our girl is Barbie girl neither they wanted us to be new Marlon Brando.

 

Death, life, universe, music, paintings, politics, ups and downs, real things in life - most of these new fools don't even trip about it. It's all about money and the fame. Most of them shallow, bot men and woman.

 

People nowadays snap instantly if something is off from how they see and feel things. We would talk everything no one getting offended cause respect was given cause we actually KNEW each other. And depended on each other.

 

We were in fact like little tribe. And as this may sound primitive, it was miles from what we have today. We were 90's kids.

Link to comment
Maria89 Rookie

Maria89

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Sorry everyone I haven’t been on here.

 

For those asking what explanation he gave me about the condom; he’s in a motorcycle club he joined about a month ago and he told me that the reason he had the condom was because this bag was passed around to the guys prospecting to be in the club which at the time made sense because there were also zip ties and pads in there. Then he told me that he had condoms in his drawer, but said he didn’t even think about telling me. However, 2 weeks before that when I looked for Advil in there (with his permission) there weren’t any condoms or pads just zip ties.

Link to comment
figureitout23 Grand Master

figureitout23

Posted
Posted

Thanks for coming back.

 

So did you believe his explanation or no?

 

I’m not really up for going down the rabbit hole of analyzing his words, I have no skin in the game.

 

You either believed him or you didn’t, do or don’t. Is he telling the truth? I suppose only he knows, but either way he chose to end things. So probably best not to dwell too much.

 

It’s a real shame but I’m willing to bet this whole trust thing was an issue before this.

Link to comment
Spucky Apprentice

Spucky

Posted
Posted

Zip ties, condoms and pads? Sounds more like sex toys then joining a motorcycle club/gang.

 

Also tbh, even if this was part of some boy scout ritual, it's stupidest one ever. Who passes condoms in a bag as part of rituals? They biker dudes should be all about living it freely so I don't think they have that much affinity about something sterile as a condom.

 

You need premission to open his drawer?

I dunno, when I'm in relationship with someone I wouldn't dare to be such a bi*ch and be like "oooooh don't open my drawer it's my privacy". What's the point of privacy and use of it if I share my body with you daily?

 

Also, he should man up. If he wants to be ganged up, big man and all that better join real thing like mob, at least you gonna earn some money until you are dead or in prison.

 

If you are already over him then you cannot call that "love".

 

You need to understand that man that is a real man won't give 2 *s about you looking at his drawer cause he won't be hiding anything and be shamed or making something secret because he is genuine. Fool u aint ready for condoms nor sex if you scared if your girl is opening your drawers, come on dog, that weak stuff.

 

More and more I have a feeling both of you should man/woman up. As a male I can tell you most (and this is generalization but based on broad experience) of those "free as a wind", "mysterious", "push and pull" males are nothing but bunch of jacka**es who are like that because they cannot even comprehend what they are so they are trapped into their sort of male confusion cause they don't even have those boxes I was telling you all about. Usually they are dumb mofos that's why they seek approval like clubs etc.

 

Real man has group of friends already solidified and his girl/wife. Everything else is big waste of time if you are searching for something that's gonna fill you up except if it isn't something useful like sports, arts etc.

 

No, he's gunna wast'em time on that clock with goool' chaps from them motorcycle clubs, drinken tha beer, barfin' and then gettn on his cycle and drop his leather so he can feel that rush of wind in his hair.

 

Also I suspect him lying and he's bad one. He could told you he doesn't trust the pill and wanna use condoms and you would be like "okay". But homie isn't even that smart and he wannna be player but he's nowhere near.

 

You know what's the goal of a player? That game stops.

 

EDIT:

Your anxiety should be no problem for someone who loves you. I dont even know how can people end up relationship over that kind of bull... justi magine having a friend with anxiety, would you leave the friendship only because of that?

 

Relationship = partnership. Especially if you treated him like king. I think your anxiety would lower and lower by how he would approach you.

 

My approach, if my girl had anxieties - would not be to cry like a lil baby cause problems of loved ones touch you, you offer to talk. You set up candles and good music, dim the light, light up mauwi wowie and TALK. Talk until the anxiety loses its strenght. Soooo much is possible if male and female work together. It's a killer combo.

 

 

P.S. middle finger to all punk*s and beeeeyotches out there, u still aint winin it, we up your asss with truth and justice, fools ...

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...