Malon98 Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 I (30y/o F) recently ran into my best friends younger cousin (24 y/o M) at a wedding this weekend, and was really attracted to him, which is super weird because the last time I remember seeing him he was probably only 8-9 years old. We didn’t get talk a ton (I was the maid of honor, so I was at the Bride’s beck and call and he was the DJ during the Wedding band’s breaks), but I think the attraction may have been mutual because at one point during the night he put his hand on my lower back while we were talking, (maybe this was really nothing but it didn’t seem like it). Sadly I was called away by the bride almost immediately after this happened so I didn’t really have time to respond/react, and I didn’t get a chance to talk to him again that night... I did just add him as a friend on fb (I’m friends with a lot of their family because I've known the bride since middle school, so I don’t think anyone will think that’s weird), but I don’t know how, or if I should, try to pursue this. Like I said, this is my best friend’s younger cousin (who my friend and I used to babysit for, almost 2 decades ago) and their whole family knows me, so I don’t know if it’s too big of a risk to try talking to him and risk making things weird, especially because I don’t usually like to date younger guys and he’s 5.5 years younger- and I don’t even know for certain if the interest was mutual, the back touch just felt like too much of an intimate thing to do to someone if you weren’t interested in them. The conversations themselves weren’t super flirty though, they were just light and fun. Can I please get some opinions/recommendations what other people would do in this situation? Thank you 🙏🏼 Edit: I should also mention, in case it matters, that neither my friends cousin, nor I, were drunk (we both had jobs to do, so we had to behave). I just wanted to make sure no one thought the hand on back thing was related to drunkenness, because that was what my sister thought when I just told her about this 😅. Link to comment
indea08 Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 Send him a simple “hey, how are you, great seeing you the other night!” on Facebook if he’s accepted your request and see how it goes. No, I don’t think it’d be too weird to pursue. I married my younger brothers best friend who is 3.5 years younger than I am!! And it was very nice to not have to introduce him to the family lol. Go for it! Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 Ok so he has a way of contacting you, plus could ask anyone else who knows you. Wait and see. You reached out on fb, see what he does with that. He may think it's awkward so let him reach out now that you already have.I did just add him as a friend on fb (I’m friends with a lot of their family because I've known the bride since middle school, so I don’t think anyone will think that’s weird), but I don’t know how, or if I should, try to pursue this. this is my best friend’s younger cousin who my friend and I used to babysit for, almost 2 decades ago Link to comment
Honeycomb8 Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 I think he's too young to you. I'd stick to guys that are at least 27. Most 24 year old guys are just getting started and their maturity levels aren't the best. At 30, you're in a completely different stage of your life. Link to comment
jimthzz Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 Depends on what your intentions are. Intention 1 - short -term fun Intention 2 - something more serious If intention 1 - have some fun and don't worry about who knows about it. Use a Miley Cyrus strategy. If intention 2 - Migrate to an "anyone but Miley Cyrus" strategy. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 How have things been since you recently ended your 9 year relationship? Have you been going out and having fun? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 Sorry but this part is a bit weird. Did you break up with DUI guy?this is my best friend’s younger cousin (who my friend and I used to babysit for, almost 2 decades ago) Link to comment
smackie9 Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 Not too young! I started dating my husband when he was 20 and I was 26. You can't always measure the level of ones maturity by their age. If you are interested ask him out. It's not the 1950's where you need to wait around for a guy to do it. Women do it, I did it. It's not as bad as most think. Just send him a message and see if he takes the bait. Link to comment
Malon98 Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 How have things been since you recently ended your 9 year relationship? Have you been going out and having fun? I haven't been going out much, besides a few times for my friends bachelorette party, and a birthday, but I was living with my best friend for a month until I could move into my new apartment, so that was fun. Link to comment
Malon98 Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 Sorry but this part is a bit weird. Did you break up with DUI guy? Yes, I broke up with him two months ago tomorrow actually (it was my step-dad's birthday, so I remember the date easily). It was the right decision, even though I was stressing about it beforehand, as soon as it was done I just felt relief- and his reaction to the breakup only further confirmed my decision. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Do you not have many male friends, OP? My brothers have done that with me especially at formal events etc and male companions or friends in the past. It's more of a gentlemanly gesture like opening a door for a lady or pulling a chair out. I wasn't there with you though. If you thought it was intimate maybe it was. I've never viewed a gesture like that as anything but gentlemanly and affectionate. There's a high likelihood you're overthinking things. The relation or friendship seems a little too close for me personally (I wouldn't pursue any romance if I were in your place). If you think it's appropriate, you can always ask him out or see what he's up to this weekend. Link to comment
Malon98 Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 Do you not have many male friends, OP? My brothers have done that with me especially at formal events etc and male companions or friends in the past. It's more of a gentlemanly gesture like opening a door for a lady or pulling a chair out. I wasn't there with you though. If you thought it was intimate maybe it was. I've never viewed a gesture like that as anything but gentlemanly and affectionate. There's a high likelihood you're overthinking things. The relation or friendship seems a little too close for me personally (I wouldn't pursue any romance if I were in your place). If you think it's appropriate, you can always ask him out or see what he's up to this weekend. I have a brother, but he has never done that. I don't have any close male friends, & any of my male acquaintances have never touched my lower back when talking to me either. I probably am overthinking things, but the only guys who have ever done that with me were my former bf's, which may be why I am perceiving this as something intimate. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 I have a brother, but he has never done that. I don't have any close male friends, & any of my male acquaintances have never touched my lower back when talking to me either. I probably am overthinking things, but the only guys who have ever done that with me were my former bf's, which may be why I am perceiving this as something intimate. Oh I see what you mean. Are you going to text or call him? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Ok, if you are ready to date get on some dating apps. Don't grab the first male that happens along. Give yourself some time to reflect and regroup. Try some short term therapy to unpack and sort some things out. I broke up with him two months ago as soon as it was done I just felt relief- and his reaction to the breakup only further confirmed my decision. Link to comment
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