Girlfriend misgenders me..

[boltnrun]

"Lunacy" is an opinion.

 

I know people who were born one gender but identify as another. Who am I to decide they are "lunatics"?

 

I didn't read that the OP is robbing the elderly or abusing children. They just feel a certain way. So why tell them the way they feel about their own gender is "lunacy"??

 

OP, can you explain to your girlfriend how upset this makes you?

[LC8328]

I don't want to start any arguments here but you are all being quite rude and disrespectful. I'm bisexual and have lots of other GLBTIQ friends and yes, non-binary is a gender and YES people can identify as "them" and YES that is THEIR choice. Being non-binary and bisexual is entirely different. Non-binary is a gender, not a sexuality. You are all being quite ignorant and rude to this person who asked for support.

 

Yes, totally this. I'm amazed with the kind of response OP's getting here.

 

It's not absurd to refer to a single person as they. There are millions who go through this all around the world, sometimes secretly due to ignorance and being bullied by others.

 

OP, maybe calling you her GF is a habit that can and will change over time. Have you two spoken extensively about this? As in, even if it pains you both? This is a major change for her as well. I'm not in any way trivializing what you are going through and I congratulate you on finding yourself. I just think however, any person in any relationship needs to consider their partner in major life decisions. This is obviously one of them. Not that your gender or identification depends on what she thinks, but at least for her to be let in on the thought processes and so forth because I know such a thing is a process.

 

I also think you should cut her some slack and not take it personally. This is new for her as well. Now if you find out that she is uncomfortable with your gender identification, you may want to think about ending your relationship so you both can find someone else. Good luck with this.

 

 

And FIO said it best... this is literally an LBGTQ board! Yes we are all entitled to our opinions... but for some of you who obviously are *that* uncomfortable with this topic, why even jump on here? Someone is asking for help and saying things like how ridiculous the whole notion is, is not only off-topic but extremely harmful to people who are already undergoing some very extreme situations.

 

I'm going to stop before I get flagged. I'm just, in shock and very sad tonight.

[sophie274]

OP - this is your girlfriend as in your romantic partner, yes?

 

It sounds to me like she has not fully understood or accepted your coming out and how important these pronouns - as a recognition of your identity - are to you. What you describe sounds more like a refusal to use your pronouns than her simply forgetting, although the only way to be sure is to ask her. I would suggest an honest conversation letting her know how you feel, and exploring the issue. I’m concerned that she may not be ready or willing to accept your gender identity, in which case you’ll have to decide what that will mean for your relationship.

 

As you can see from the responses on here, this sort of situation is still widely misunderstood. Perhaps you can get better advice or support from a forum that deals more specifically with gender identity and coming out as transgender/gender non-conforming. Good luck, and I hope your girlfriend can be more supportive in the future.

[Capricorn3]

Under review.