My job is working me to death

[Batya33]

Yes, baths and showers and yes I've been in your mindset and even now at times with a part time job and a child and a husband who works more than full time, travels and is also working on a PhD. I actually think it's great to feel thankful for a bath or a longer shower- I do these days (and did so much when my child was too young for me to shower when he was awake). Exercise -daily cardio -helps me so so much.

 

One poster on this board posted the other day -not to me -but wow did it resonate -that she has a method of stopping the "what if" and other anxious thoughts -a way of self-talking that works for her. Not rationalizing or "think positive" (lol- I think positive when my favorite soap, while just a sliver, stays on the side of the tub instead of slipping in the water and disintegrating further) - but a real self-talking kind of phrase or mantra that works for her. I have been doing versions of that for years just not as much with the what-if trains of thought -yes, about taxes or that pesky leak that might not be just a leak, etc.

 

Know what else- if you're on adrenaline and you get a break from work -you know what -it's ok not to "relax" -the other day I scrubbed two floors and took out the garbage and folded laundry right after sending in a huge project to one of my supervisors that had been stressing me some - it felt good to get my home a bit more in order rather than scrolling on Facebook for example. Try not to do too many shoulds - you will know when you must force yourself to "relax".

[abitbroken]

I would have changed your outgoing voicemail every day "its friday, July x. Today i will be available by phone from 9 to 3 and 4:30 to 6. I will be out the office from 3 to 4:30 where i wll be turning the keys over to a happy new homeower. I will return all phone calls the same day. Please leave a message, or a send a text. " or "today is friday, i will be out of the office until 11 and will return my calls after that time".

 

Anyway, there are other jobs you can work in real estate and set your own hours. Or be really busy and hire an assstant and a buyer's agent, etc, so you don't have to work around the clock.

[catfeeder]

I’m a nervous wreck about turning in my notice because I know they’re going to be pissed.

 

From what you've described, what difference does their pissedness make in the grand scheme of things? They're not 'nice' in the first place, so it's not as though their dislike of losing you might blow some otherwise fabulous relationship.

 

Screw them. Your successes speak for themselves in terms of shopping yourself to potential employers, and these people are not exactly good reference material regardless of when you leave. Their negativity isn't something you'd want for a recommendation, so look into the laws in your location regarding the limits of what your HR department or supervisor is allowed to confirm on any employment checks from future employers. For instance, in my state, they can only confirm date of hire and last date of work. Period. Use past clients or 'good' coworkers as your references.

 

You speak of fear being a continual driver of your anxiety, but I'd make it a point to identify what, exactly, you fears ARE. Write those down regularly, and allow your mind to come up with solutions to them over time. For instance, learning that you'd be fully capable of handling any given worst case scenario, despite inconvenience or a less than desirable outcome, means that you can stop spinning over any given fear.

 

In order to resolve a problem you need to identify the problem. Squelching fears without examining them is called 'stuffing,' and that only amplifies fear instead of minimizing it. Holding your fears up to the light exposes them as annoyances or unlikelihoods while stuffing them grows them into a giant abstraction. Nobody can resolve that.

 

Break down your fears into components in the same way you'd break up a large project into smaller tasks. When you break anything down into manageable parts, you take away its power to overwhelm.

 

Head high, you can do this.