I gave up alot for him

[Wiseman2]

Do you feel as though he owes you for moving there rather than your original destination. It seems you allowed him to be responsible for too much in your life from fleeing your country to being where you are without a work or student visa. Why can't you visit family/friends?

 

Going to your other destination or returning to the 'friends and family you gave' up are options, but you would rather just stay and hope he fixes your residency problems. You are putting yourself at risk being there illegally and having unrealistic expectations that he owes you marriage and/or residency in exchange for "giving things up for him".

I gave up on a future in another country for him and for this difficult process. I gave up on seeing my family for years. I gave up on having my friends around me..

[Billie28]

You were a refugee in the country your family currently live in. That you chose to leave. And can choose to go back to.

You chose to leave and chose to go to a country where your ex resides in because of a long distance ?online relationship.

 

You are not a refugee in the country you currently live in. Correct?

 

You are now applying for citizenship there, why?

Because of hopes to rekindle your relationship with him?

 

“Few months in I realized that for me to stay there there was no way but to get married”

What happened to that statement?? You aren’t getting married and all of a sudden despite your prior research there actually IS a way to stay?

[Rose Mosse]

My relationship I accept it’s over now. No use in trying to revive it. I guess what I wanted to get from here is whether someone can be so overwhelmed and then maybe get back to their senses, to see if my ex could be like that. It hurts I have to lose someone because of circumstances I can’t control. I was very clear from the start that this would be hard on our relationship. We did stick together through so much. I guess in the end it got a bit too much for my ex and people in his life were not very supportive.

 

When someone shows you how they feel, believe them. It's not good to live on hypotheticals. What I'm meaning is that it's not healthy to hope for what might be. It's more realistic to focus on what is right now. You haven't given yourself time to process the break up. Give yourself time. The answer you're looking for is crystal ball-worthy and none of us can tell the future.

 

I would caution you though about the idea of him "coming back to his senses". He may have already come to his senses by breaking up with you and realizing this truly isn't a relationship he can commit to. You may not realize it but your thought patterns (although clouded at this time in sadness and pain) are not respecting his wishes. You're not seeing what he wants and awarding him his own autonomy and believing that this might be the best route for him.

 

I'd also really caution the idea that you're losing anyone due to circumstances that can't be controlled as that puts you in a powerless position, suggesting, in other words, that you've "lost" and initiates a very unhealthy cycle of victimization or thoughts of being the victim. I understand you're in a tough position. Don't make it tougher on yourself with these negative thoughts and ideas that you are powerless. When a person shows you to be what they are, truly believe that person. When someone shows you that he/she can be "lost", there's a reason they're "lost" or out of your life. Most of the time it's for the greater good. When one door closes, another opens. Stay positive and don't let this throw you into a deeper and more negative way of thinking.