How to fix this

[ThatwasThen]

I tried...Nothing. sad

 

Then do what you should have done two months ago and blocked and deleted him because clearly he doesn't give a chit about anyone but him. He's addicted to a game and that is the only thing that is important and worth nurturing, obviously.

 

I'm sure you are glad that you can now confidently close the door on him as his silence should be all the closure you need.

 

Don't be sad... be glad you can now move on and do so without guilt.

[Cherylyn]

You've since apologized already. Don't hound him with texts / calls anymore otherwise you're perceived as pathetic. Know that you feel remorseful, you've told him you were sincerely sorry and there is nothing more you can do. He made a choice to ignore you and he wants to move on without you in his life. The "kindest" thing you can do is respect and honor his wishes which is to be left alone.

 

All you can do is to learn from your mistakes. You can't change others. All you can do is exercise self-control in the future, think before your speak or write and be wise with your words. Think carefully otherwise fights and regrets will rear its ugly head later. Live and learn. You will be more successful in your future relationships. I always consider bad relationships to not always be in vain. Painful lessons were learned from them regarding communication styles.

 

Also keep in mind, even with great communication skills, there are times when two people are simply incompatible and no amount of effort on your part can make it work. People are different with their personalities and characters. Some people are refined, cultured, respectful, kind, considerate, selfless and possess impeccable manners. Those types of people are normal and easy to get along with. Other people are high maintenance and eventually those friendships or relationships are bound to fail. Know the difference.

[firstluvstruck]

Having already replied to his nasty email saying I'd like to understand him and reading all your advice (thank you), is there any benefit in speaking up to tell him about times I have been offended/upset?

I'm very seriously thinking about moving on and letting it go as you all suggest, but my mind needs to play out everything before resting.

[ThatwasThen]

Having already replied to his nasty email saying I'd like to understand him and reading all your advice (thank you), is there any benefit in speaking up to tell him about times I have been offended/upset?

I'm very seriously thinking about moving on and letting it go as you all suggest, but my mind needs to play out everything before resting.

 

No, there is no benefit.

 

I suggest you write it all down, read it and then put in a drawer and when you are feeling like you want to contact him to give him a piece of your mind, take it out and read it again and then burn it and let any need to have the last word blow away with the smoke. The opposite of giving a chit is indifference. Writing and burning that letter will get you to that blissful stage.

[Cherylyn]

Don't reply to his nasty or other emails anymore. Don't explain anything. No, there is absolutely NO benefit in speaking up and telling him about times you have been offended / upset. People do NOT care. It is human nature so get used to it.

 

There are several reasons why people ignore you. They think they have nothing to be sorry for and that they did nothing wrong. It's not a matter of ego nor prideful behavior. They honestly believe they did nothing wrong. Therefore, an apology will never be forthcoming in a million years. Never expect apologies because it will never happen or most likely will never happen.

 

A lot of people know they're done with you or others. They want to move on so they'll continue to ignore, ignore, ignore. Take a hint, get the message and do the same. Ignore and move on with your own life.

 

I was once like you. I had a falling out with a person (a close cousin whom I grew up with) and during the beginning of our estrangement, I reached out to her to no avail. Granted, I wasn't at fault but she figured since she couldn't use me and my loved ones, she didn't have any use for me so she has since moved on. I had a hard time accepting her incurable character flaws and insisted up on trying to patch up the relationship. I became pitiful and pathetic the way I begged and implored for us to try again and revert to the dear childhood rapport we once had. Well, we all grow up and people change, many times for the worse. My mother told me to let it go and I did. I listened to my mother and I carved out my own happiness with my family life. Then I felt strong and didn't NEED her. In fact, I feel mentally healthier without any toxic, dysfunctional people in my life. I get rid of them one by one and surround myself with normal, good, high integrity types.

 

Stop obsessing over others. Become a complete, secure person within yourself and find peace at the center. After that, you will be that draw and you will attract others to you without even trying. It's like bees to honey. People flock to secure individuals who have their act together. Be self-confident.

 

Don't go back 'n forth with people who are nothing but drama. Leave them alone and move on. Be a happier person.

[firstluvstruck]

With each passing day I'm coming to realize that even if he comes to the table to talk, I can't be friends with someone who has said such things...things that have actually been very hurtful.

It's not ok. No person should make another feel like this. Unless he's got some mental illness that I've been blind to, the lack of understanding of who I am... The lack of a desire to understand who I am.

...screw you.

[ThatwasThen]

*zee snap to your lightbulb moment!*

[loyal]

Are you sad about the friendship or frustrated that you didn't say to him what you wish you would have? I say this out of experience: are you truly sad and mourning your friendship or are you upset because he told you how he really felt and you did not have the chance to return the favor? You need to figure out which of these is you and then you will know how to proceed. If you are mourning the friendship, tell him that. Let him know that you value the relationship you had and that you are sad that it could be so easily cast aside. If you are upset that you didn't get the chance to light in to him, take some time to formulate your words and then let him know--with care and tact--your frustrations. Avoid name-calling and blaming, but be honest. And, make sure that YOU are the subject of what you say. Use "I" statements, not "you" statements; this will help you to avoid accusations.