My fiancé cheated a year ago.

[MissCanuck]

Is it stupid to contact that girl and see if there was more that I donÂ’t know of? Or would it best to stay away from her

 

You have no idea if she would tell you the full truth, to be fair. She might be out to cover her own arse now and minimize her role in this. My guess is that he liked her a lot more than he now claims, given that he appeared jealous that she had other guys over. If she truly meant nothing more than a quick lay, he wouldn't really give a fig if other men were around. This also calls into question his story that she just seduced him when he was fixing something in her apartment. Nah, this was probably brewing a while before it actually happened.

 

His tears and threat to hurt himself are manipulation, plain and simple. The more you write, the more of a dirtbag he sounds like. You two moved very quickly and you are learning now who he really is.

[Jbabygirl]

He says that she is the one who lied about the condoms . I confronted him about that too & he said that they did use a condom that she had them In her drawer

[MissCanuck]

He says that she is the one who lied about the condoms . I confronted him about that too & he said that they did use a condom that she had them In her drawer

 

Right. Because he's certainly Mr. Credible.

[SherrySher]

Of course he's going to say she lied. But she has no real reason to lie to you...he however does.

[BettyBee]

Don't contact her. You don't know if you'll get the truth. It's not going to make you feel any better. And honestly he is the one who has more reason to lie about the situation than her about the condom imo.

[Jbabygirl]

We ended up moving to a new apartment complex about 2 months after he cheated. I think a huge reason was because of her. He wanted to leave for me to not find out ..right? I feel so stupid.

[HeartGoesOn]

We ended up moving to a new apartment complex about 2 months after he cheated. I think a huge reason was because of her. He wanted to leave for me to not find out ..right? I feel so stupid.

 

A tiger never changes his stripes, and he'll likely find better ways to cover his tracks. You're not "stupid," yet it appears that you're at war with yourself as to seeing this for what it is.

 

Hopefully you'll make the right choices...

[SherrySher]

All you did was trust the wrong person. That doesn't make you stupid, that makes you like the majority of us on this forum. (hugs)

[arjumand]

He was just leading her on? Let's say that is true -- so he was flirting with someone else and being a manipulative creep to her -- at best this is what you are choosing to stay with. The reality is worse, and you know it.

[Annia]

It's one thing to cheat and take responsibility and on those cases it's possible to rebuild the trust again and not having any more infidelity incidents. Another thing is a cheater that lies and doesn't take responsibility. And why did he still have her Snapchat? This is not a man that feels guilty and is trying to be better. Had you not found out now he would've at least continued talking to her.

 

I'm not saying leave right away because you have a little child but at least hold off the wedding and make him earn your trust again. It's on him to do it and work on it. Not you. And do an std scan.

 

I'm very sorry you're going through this.

[SherrySher]

Definitely hold off on the wedding and get checked for STD's.

[Jbabygirl]

Thank you everyone.

[Jbabygirl]

It happened a year ago in June and I’ve been cleared when I was pregnant so I don’t think he got anything but thank you so much

[Annia]

How manipulative is that? I reckon cheaters have a manual as to how to react after. My first love cheated on me and when I told him I knew he cheated, he denied profusely and then threatened suicide lol. It's immature and crazy and proves nothing.

 

This reminds me of my abusive ex when I found out some of his lies and wanted to break up with me and then would call me saying he had taken pills to kill himself because of me. What people do to manipulate.