My fiancé cheated a year ago.

[Honeycomb8]

He's going to do it again, because you're condoning it. This prob wasn't the first time he cheated, you just found out about it that's all.

[Jbabygirl]

But what if a baby is involved? How can I just get up and go..:(

[Jbabygirl]

I think about that all the time.

[Honeycomb8]

They always cry lol. It really means nothing.

[Honeycomb8]

Because you deserve to be with someone that is honest and loyal to you and your baby deserves to see their mother feeling secure and not with a man that cheats on them.

 

It will hurt to let go but you'll be better off, I promise! Banking on someone that has proven to be untrustworthy and hoping it'll stop is dangerous to your heart.

[Jbabygirl]

What about threatening to hurt themselves? When I confronted him I threw our picture frame and broke glass and he picked up a piece and put it to his wrist

[BettyBee]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. If it wasn't for the child I'd tell you to just leave him now.

I don't have kids so I'm sure what to say on that... But honestly, you deserve better.

Whichever way you go from here just remember that plenty of women raise children single. It seems hard but it's possible and he will be able to help you without you being romanticly involved.

[reinventmyself]

What about threatening to hurt themselves? When I confronted him I threw our picture frame and broke glass and he picked up a piece and put it to his wrist

 

oh geez.

What about it?

 

Does him threatening to hurt himself make

you want to stay?

 

Or does it make you feel he's playing head games and

trying to manipulate you?

[Wiseman2]

Abusive and manipulative theatrics. Do not react to that.

What about threatening to hurt themselves? When I confronted him I threw our picture frame and broke glass and he picked up a piece and put it to his wrist

[Honeycomb8]

How manipulative is that? I reckon cheaters have a manual as to how to react after. My first love cheated on me and when I told him I knew he cheated, he denied profusely and then threatened suicide lol. It's immature and crazy and proves nothing.

[Jbabygirl]

Thank you. It just sucks because he’s the breadwinner and I’m a SAHM so if I were to leave then I’d be the one out most likely with my parents. I love him too much to just end it because of a one time thing but I understand that I do deserve a lot better

[reinventmyself]

Thank you. It just sucks because he’s the breadwinner and I’m a SAHM so if I were to leave then I’d be the one out most likely with my parents. I love him too much to just end it because of a one time thing but I understand that I do deserve a lot better

 

It's ok to love someone and recognize that you can no longer be with them.

[SherrySher]

He cried? Do you realize it's a tactic cheaters use? They want you to feel sorry for them, they want to make you vulnerable and weaken you. Crying means nothing!

 

You know when he should have cried? When this wh0r3 kept hitting on him knowing he had a gf and that you lived right above her. He should have told her then and there NO..leave me alone and I mean it!!

 

And if she got a hold of him on snapchat, he should have again told her to stop it unless she wants to cause a lot of upset, and then block her.

 

He wanted her, he liked her, and he let HIMSELF get close enough to her to have sex with her. He's not sorry, he is sorry he got caught.

 

Will he do it again? I would almost guarantee it. He liked her attentions and he didn't care how you felt or that you were even having his baby!!

His excuses are lame and pathetic!

All he is doing again is trying to play on your emotions instead of being honest and admitting that yes, he liked what he saw and he went for it.

 

Men like him don't change, they just hide it better.

[Jbabygirl]

Thank you. I told him that he had to have been attracted to her to do that to me and he kept denying it. Saying he didn’t like her and that he had no feelings for her.. but you’re right he wanted her and he should’ve blocked and not responded. Idk what to do

[Honeycomb8]

^yes yes yes!

 

 

I don't regret breaking up with the guy that cheated. You will never feel secure and will never trust him again. There are lots of guys out there that would never think to cheat, because they have integrity (which this guy has none of) and they wouldn't want to hurt you.

[BettyBee]

I swear there is a script guys follow after they get caught. He said to you what my ex said to me, but then he ended up dumping me for her after I gave him another chance.

[SherrySher]

It's up to you and you alone what you decide to do.

 

Can you ever fully trust him again? Does he even deserve that? Will you be strong enough to handle it if you find out hes cheating again?

 

None of us can decide for you, only you know whats in you heart and head.

 

But from experience, I will tell you that this is not a good scenario and he will more than likely do it again.

 

You need to safe guard your own heart, this is the type of thing that can destroy someone. (as in YOU)...not him...his bs of suicide attempts are more emotional manipulation and more proof of just how immature and vindictive he is.

[Jbabygirl]

I almost want him to do it again so I can leave. Just venting on here is making me think clearer. I deserve a lot better than someone who hides stuff

[Wiseman2]

Do have family close by? Why not take some time away to reflect and decompress from everything? Get away for a while.

 

Let him serious think on this. Tell him you'll contact him when you've had some time to yourself to think. Then don't talk until you've had time to reflect.

 

Take yourself and the baby to your parents for a few days. Be around people you love and trust. Cheating is a lonely disorienting experience. Do something for yourself.

It just sucks because he’s the breadwinner and I’m a SAHM so if I were to leave then I’d be the one out most likely with my parents.

[SherrySher]

I also echo what another poster said...not all men are like this, not all of them have it in them to cheat. Some are good men, with a sense of responsibility and a conscience.

 

It's a matter of morals and standards and not everyone has a good set of either one of them.

 

I don't believe this is changeable. You either have it in you to cheat or you don't. But it cannot be fixed.

 

As for cheaters, well, there is a reason why they say once a cheater, always a cheater. It's part of their general make up.

[Jbabygirl]

I’ve tried leaving to my parents for some space but he won’t let me take our son with me and I’m not leaving without him.. :/ I’m home alone all day so I use that time to think

[Jbabygirl]

Is it stupid to contact that girl and see if there was more that I donÂ’t know of? Or would it best to stay away from her

[Wiseman2]

Go when he is at work. He can't say anything about taking your son to visit your parents. Don't let him hold you hostage. Don't accept controlling behavior or abuse on top of cheating.

I’ve tried leaving to my parents for some space but he won’t let me take our son with me and I’m not leaving without him.. :/ I’m home alone all day so I use that time to think

[SherrySher]

What else do you need to know? I mean...they got together and had sex...it means they BOTH chose that. He kept messaging her and didn't stop until you found out.

 

He lied about using condoms with her.

 

What more could she tell you? I only ask because you've got all the horrible news you need and it seems like adding more pain.

[Jbabygirl]

Idk I guess if he told her things that I didn’t read or were deleted. I remember reading a message that she said it was like “I wanna kiss you too but I don’t want to come between you and your girl” .. I think about it all the time. He says he was leading her on but what if he wasn’t .. I need to stop or I’ll drive myself crazy. I already feel like I am