bluecastle Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 A quick add, by NC working I mean to sort myself out. My last relationship has absolutely destroyed me Yeah, that's kind of the subtext here, with his little dalliance a proxy for some unresolved rage. I'm sorry for that pain, whatever the story, but you gotta get it sorted out. Until then, every dude you meet is going to be that ex wearing a mask—less a real person than a voodoo doll to poke at. Let this little chapter go—not much there, let's be honest to hang onto. Time to dig in, get some wires sorted out, so the next lovely guy (or even a guy who strikes you as lovely) isn't meant with ire for, you know, intriguing you. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 I know I always fall for the wrong people. But he is lovely. I just dunno why I have been so horrible. Probably because you have not healed from this break-up: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=552758 When you start projecting and getting mean, it's time to step away from the game for a while. This guy is probably done with you anyway, but you would be best to stay single for a while and really deal with the pain from your previous break-up. You're not in the right emotional place to be dating yet. Link to comment
gigicarmx Posted October 30, 2018 Author Share Posted October 30, 2018 Thank you so much for being kind. I was so vile to him so I probably don’t deserve kindness. I just hope he does know it wasn’t out of hatred. Link to comment
gigicarmx Posted November 1, 2018 Author Share Posted November 1, 2018 Hi all I haven’t messaged him but he messaged me today saying “he wants me to leave him alone for abit” idk I give up Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Hi all I haven’t messaged him but he messaged me today saying “he wants me to leave him alone for abit” idk I give up Well, then do just that and call it a day. Even if you two did patch it up, this likely isn't going to work out simply because you're still hurting so much from your last break-up. You're in rebound territory with this guy. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Stop messaging or chasing. Just wait and see if he contacts you. I haven’t messaged him but he messaged me today saying “he wants me to leave him alone for abit” Link to comment
gigicarmx Posted November 1, 2018 Author Share Posted November 1, 2018 I won’t message him. I just hope he goes get back in touch with me. I’m getting so jealous feeling haha. Link to comment
gigicarmx Posted November 1, 2018 Author Share Posted November 1, 2018 I feel so jealous. I don’t want him to be with anyone else. How can I even be sure he’ll message me again. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 I feel so jealous. I don’t want him to be with anyone else. How can I even be sure he’ll message me again. You can't be. But you can take this as a good lesson learned. The time to be nice to someone is when they're still actively in your life, not after they've decided to leave. Link to comment
gigicarmx Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 I hope he messages me. I feel so crap tonight. I don’t want him to just get rid of me. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 I hope he messages me. I feel so crap tonight. I don’t want him to just get rid of me. You do realize it was your own behavior that caused him to "get rid" of you, don't you? Link to comment
gigicarmx Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 I know and I feel horrific. He hasn’t said to never speak to him again. I hope he just wants space. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 I know and I feel horrific. He hasn’t said to never speak to him again. I hope he just wants space. He may. And he may or may not decide to get back in touch. But, again, please take this as a lesson learned. Link to comment
gigicarmx Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 I definitely have. Surely he’d just tell me he never wants to speak? Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 What he does or doesn't do isn't the point, OP. You are focusing on all the wrong things, which is what led to this problem in the first place. What are you going to do to heal from your last break-up? Unless you figure that out, you won't have a successful relationship any time soon. He might talk to you again. He might not. If he's got anyone else on his radar that treats him well, he won't be back. You can't do anything to make sure he contacts you again, beyond what you have already done. You apologzied, but you also showed him a side of you that he doesn't like. You can't unring that bell. Link to comment
gigicarmx Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 I think I need therapy Link to comment
boltnrun Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 I think I need therapy That might end up being the best decision you've ever made. Therapy has great value in so many ways. Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 I think focusing on your freakout is like focusing on on the mouse in the corner while the elephant in the room is slowly suffocating you. Your actions are all symptoms of something much deeper. I think the focus should be on your extreme reaction to his perceived rejection. The verbiage you’re using you’re taking this incredibly personally while ignoring the fact that he was talking to other women!!!! Granted you acted wrong you seem to have completely forgotten his wrong doing because your fear of being left overshadowed everything. This would never have worked, did you help the demise yes, you did. But it was all wrong to begin with he wasn’t committing to you. Let’s focus on that and therapy, your self esteem is in the gutter leaving you a sitting duck for cheaters and abusers. You’re just ripe for a dysfunctional relationship love. Stop saying see someone. Link to comment
gigicarmx Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 He has so many girls commenting on his social media. I’m going to delete him. This is horrific but I need a therapist. Link to comment
gigicarmx Posted November 3, 2018 Author Share Posted November 3, 2018 He text me saying. Sorry I’ve been a d**k, can I come yours now? Pretty obvious what that means. Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 He text me saying. Sorry I’ve been a d**k, can I come yours now? Pretty obvious what that means. Wait... are you two dating or what was this? I mean you seem kind a territorial with this idea of you don’t want him talking to other girls and then you get upset that he seems to be contacting you for intercourse but what was your relationship to begin with? are you guys friends with benefits, dating? what was it Link to comment
gigicarmx Posted November 3, 2018 Author Share Posted November 3, 2018 Dating, I am very insecure. I just don’t want to feel like this. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 So now you're OK with all the girls who are commenting on his social media? Link to comment
gigicarmx Posted November 3, 2018 Author Share Posted November 3, 2018 No because now I know he is an f boy. I’m not seeing him again. Sick of bein hurt. Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 No because now I know he is an f boy. I’m not seeing him again. Sick of bein hurt. Good for you. Use this ego boost of his contact wisely. Delete and block. If you don’t the second you sense him pulling away you will be right back to square one. You aren’t operating normally right now, your insecurities and ego are running the show, that’s ok, you know you need help so you’re good, but again you need to use this wisely, delete and block so you don’t fall back into old habits of ‘proving’ your self to complete losers. Link to comment
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