girlfriend is annoyed bcz i want to do dangerous sports

[katrina1980]

I think there are other issues here. It's not about riding motorcycles but about her insecurity. Is she keeping you from doing other things? Is she trying to keep you from your friends? Is she needy and clingy? You might be running into an emotional abuse issue.

 

Agree with you DZ, but to add, since HE is afraid and insecure too, you can add a co-dependency issue to that as well.

 

OP, to me it's very clear why you and your girl were (are) drawn to each other.

 

You both have issues that need to be addressed and resolved before embarking on something even remotely functional and healthy.

 

I don't think giving up what you love doing will help, because unless the deeper issues are addressed and resolved, there will always be something else.

 

There is a hole inside her that won't ever be filled no matter how much love you give her, how much you *give up* for her, etc.

 

Doing so is actually "feeding the monster" so to speak. Co-dependent behavior, unless again she acknowledges her issues and you acknowledge yours as well.. And take steps to resolve.

 

JMO, good luck!

[bluecastle]

katrina is nailing it here, OP. I hope you're listening.

 

My two cents: Your "resolution" conversation was a kind of classic mirage, the illusion of productive communication that can float a lot of relationships in which the entanglement of insecurities is the glue that binds.

 

A motorcycle was the proxy for the real, shadow conversation that goes like this: Her: But do you love me? You: I do. Her: But really? You: Really! Her: But are you sure? You: I LOVE YOU! Her: Oh, me too! This is perfect!

 

It'll come up again, and again. So just know that you're feeding that dynamic as well, enjoying it as much as she is. If that works, if it makes you happy—all good. But just understand what's really going on.

[Snny]

I’m going to say this as someone who has taken flight lessons...

 

If you want that sense of adventure and to do X-sports, the time to do it is NOW. Before you get married and start having kids. If you can afford the hobby, just do it and get it out of your system. Life is too short at 25 years old to be holding back.

 

I joined a car club while married and had some guys who also flew civilian planes. I wanted to try it. I could easily die in a plane crash. I found an excellent instructor who was a retired Naval pilot with nearly over 20 years of experience flying and landing jet fighters on carriers. I had my husband meet the guy and the three of us flown up in the air together for a couple of tomes before he was comfortable letting me continue lessons.

 

I’m temporarily putting my lessons on hold because I’m pregnant and it’s too expensive to balance that and raising a child. Unfortunately there’s a huge possibly that I may never pick up and get my license. I could crash and die, and my husband can be widowed... but I can’t have him be widowed and a single parent, and my child motherless all because I chose a dangerous hobby.

 

 

Do it while you’re young and “single” if that is your true passion. I definitely agree that your girlfriend is ultra clingy and her behavior and insecurities will worsen over time.

[IAmFCA]

Imagine this

Nothing about her changes, nothing. You are unable to know the future. There is nothing to plan for. She is who she is, as is. She is with you all the time. What does that feel like?

[helenh]

Work on relationships is very difficult. In addition, you are also interesting in own safety. Choose the most suitable outfit and be careful.

Try to keep the relationship. Good luck!

[helenh]

If you're interested, here's the site from which I ordered bikes helmets and clothing http://bestadviser.net/reviews/mountain-bikes-reviews/top-mountain-bikes-helmets-and-clothing-review/