I need some help

[Helloworld12]

Hi.

 

I've been going through a pretty rough couple of days and things don't seem to get better. I just finished school and although I should be excited I am not. I am terrified and worried... I'm currently working as an assistant for a department and the manager who oversees the department previously talked to me about possibly having a position lined up for me after I graduated. This situation is a bit more complicated since I am more or less not in the degree that she would prefer to have someone in that position to have, but I have been working as an assistant for that position for a while. Also the position is mostly based on training (ex: they train you to work that position, they don't really have a degree for it, but you do have to pass a certification within a year to continue to be in that position.)

She usually likes to text with her employees, and I have on occasion communicated with her though text. I sent her a message a day ago letting her know that I have completed everything and am very interested in applying for that position if it is still available (which to my knowledge it still is) it's been a day and I haven't heard back. I'm getting anxious and this is just adding to more things that I have going on.

 

My boyfriend of 8 months will be leaving for 2 months in about a week. I know 2 months is not a lot, but I'm very sad. I keep on thinking that this time in two weeks I won't be seeing him, and it brings me to tears, but I know he's doing something for his future... So I'm happy for him. It just really sucks.

 

To top all this off I have been reading on the internet about my degree. A lot of people say that the market is saturated with people looking for these jobs, and this is scaring me more and more if this opportunity with my manager doesn't pull through. I've been regretting all my life decisions up to this point because I feel helpless. I'm so worried I will be jobless for a long time and that I won't find work anywhere near my town. Which would normally not be an issue, but most of the jobs offered in my field are PRN and it's scary to take such jobs without family support around.

 

For the past week I've been looking at other possible degrees that I could try an go for maybe in the next 2 years. I've contemplated going to PA school once and I'm now looking at it as a possibility. But I truly don't think I'm smart enough... I think that I'll fail and the though of all that scares me so much.

 

I feel like the lack of my self confidence in my intelligence and my ability to actually be able to do something will hold me back... But. Also afraid that I might be right and that I won't be smart enough to make it... And then I'll be a failure.

 

I feel like I'm in a hole and I'm just depressed. I'm worried that I won't get a job, I'm worried that if I try to pursue a PA degree I won't be smart enough to actually make it. I'm worried that I will fail and that I will just struggle with the degree that I have now.

I don't know what to do... All I've been doing for the past couple of days is cry myself to sleep and stress about hearing back from my manager.

With my boyfriend leaving in a week I just feel alone. I feel like I have nowhere to go and that I am a failure... That I won't be able to get anything around my area to work with right now. This is stressing me out and driving me to the edge. I haven't slept well for the past couple of days and I think this is also adding to my depression.

 

I'm not sure what it is that I am trying to accomplish by being here... But I guess I'm just trying to not feel so alone, and for once I am actually talking about everything that is stressing me out and making me so upset. So if anything... At least putting how I feel into words on a screen on a forum has helped a bit.

[boltnrun]

You already have a degree. So you're obviously intelligent.

 

The manager is probably very busy and gets a zillion emails a day. It might be that she/he is looking into what they need to do to give you an offer.

 

Who do you spend time with besides your boyfriend? Spend time with friends and family so you don't feel so reliant on him to fill your time.

[Helloworld12]

Thank you. I appreciate your reply.

I really hope it's that she's busy. I'm honestly really anxious about this opportunity not pulling through since I've been really counting on it. I guess not hearing back is stressing me out and making me worried.

 

I appreciate you saying I'm intelligent. I'm hoping that this is just a mood I'm in and that if I do pursue going for my PA degree I don't feel this way.

 

To be honest... Outside of my boyfriend I don't really spend time with anyone. I have a hard time making friends... I'm hanging out with some mutual wives/fiances of his friends this weekend. They are nice girls so hopefully I can begin friendships with them... But aside from that I keep to myself, my mom, and my dogs. I tend to work a lot or study a lot for school so going out and socializing is very rare for me.

[DanZee]

Hmm. You need to get out more. That may be why you're crying about your boyfriend leaving for 2 months. The world is not ending. It sounds like you have an emotional dependency on him, which may not be totally healthy.

 

You didn't say what degree you got and what kind of field you're working in. We could give you some career advice. ENA is not just about relationships.

 

Your boss might be a jerk about a promotion. Some people think they can motivate employees by making hollow promises. You need to wait a few days and then send a follow-up text.

[Last Gentleman]

Yeah you seem to really have low confidence and this also apparently leads you to be a bit dependent on you BF, which isn't good for either of you.

 

But I don't understand all the fear, you're young you have opportunities and that's just the beginning you can still choose who you want to be and what you want

to do in life. You should be more celebrating this and look forward to making your own choices, developing your life and career rather than feel pressured about it,

change is good embrace it !