I cant get my mind of her after our 3 year relationship

[whiteboard123]

So, me and my girlfriend had been dating for around 3 years now. everyone had hope in us but things began to fall apart and we ended up breaking up. initially, I was okay. It did hurt me but nowhere near as much as it has now, I guess it just hadn’t hit me then. I’ve recently really started to feel it and its mainly because she’s started to post a lot of pictures of herself online and she looks insane. I know without a doubt that every guy likes her. She’s very close to my friends and I’m scared she’s going to slowly manipulate them into becoming close to her. A few weeks ago, she told me that once we break up she’s going to stop talking to all my friends but that hasn’t exactly happened. I messaged her today asking we could sort things out but to me it seems likes she’s really changed. She’s talking and acting much more differently. It was recently her 18th birthday but I didn’t show up because of the argument we had the day before where she told me she I ruined her life and all that mean stuff. After our conversation, today and me almost begging her to get back she said, ‘her and her family are much happier without me’ and that ever since we broke up she’s ‘got her life back as well as her friends’. Now to me I just feel like I’ve been holding her back and ruining her life according to her. The main reason as to why I didn’t show up to her birthday was because she lied to me about moving to a new house about 4 hours away. She sent me pictures of her stuff on the floor and them cleaning the house and then I really believed that she was moving. I was genuinely upset until the following day where she told me it was a joke but I was really upset. Like who jokes about moving house?

Shes also told me in the past that she can find someone to replace me within a day but I just want her back. Additionally, this September im starting a new college and need to put my head down as I am paying to go so maybe this is for the better as I wont get distracted?

Regardless, I can’t get my mind of her. Shes everywhere. What do you guys think about the situation? I really need help, I literally cant do anything and when I am, as soon as I think about her potentially hanging out with other guys or having fun without me I just lose all my energy and feel crappy. She told me she got over me in 2 days but I just cant believe that.

:upset:

 

She was perfect. Now when I say she was perfect I mean she was perfect. by far the prettiest girl I have ever laid my eyes on. Her personality her laugh her body everything, I loved every single inch of her so much. I will never find anyone like her again. and if i were to ever see her with another guy i dont even want to know what would happen to me.

[whiteboard123]

She was perfect. Now when I say she was perfect I mean she was perfect. by far the prettiest girl I have ever laid my eyes on. Her personality her laugh her body everything, I loved every single inch of her so much. I will never find anyone like her again. and if i were to ever see her with another guy i dont even want to know what would happen to me.

[SGH]

You're putting this girl on a pedestal, which can only place you below her. It also sounds like you were excessively dependent on her due to self-esteem issues. If she was lying to you and putting you down, the relationship wasn't healthy. Be careful of judging the value of partners on only superficial qualities, like looks. Just because she was beautiful, doesn't mean she was a good person or the right person for you.

 

Do yourself a favor and see a therapist. Your reaction to the break-up, while not abnormal, isn't healthy. Work on recognizing your own worth instead of depending on a partner to make you feel good about yourself.

[MissCanuck]

She's an immature, bratty kid, OP.

 

Seriously. She is far from perfect. You are going to be much better off without this childish drama in your life.

[charity]

She told you she could replace you withing a day.

 

She lied about moving house, sent you pics to prove it which shocked and confused you.

 

You feel she is manipulative.

 

On the other hand, she is very pretty and fun to be around.

 

Perfect OP? i THINK NOT.

 

You don't want her back, you just don't want anyone else to have her. Its your ego at work here.

[whiteboard123]

Thats exactly how i feel. I dont want anyone to have her. i dont know how i can get over her. i just spoke to her and she told me some guys are trying to speak with her. one of them i know asked about us breaking up and then after she confirmed it he starting say stuff about me like 'what do you look in for guys' and she said im not interested and he replied 'is it short and skinny like your ex'. i dont know how to get over her. i wish i could completely forget everything.

[charity]

Thats exactly how i feel. I dont want anyone to have her. i dont know how i can get over her. i just spoke to her and she told me some guys are trying to speak with her. one of them i know asked about us breaking up and then after she confirmed it he starting say stuff about me like 'what do you look in for guys' and she said im not interested and he replied 'is it short and skinny like your ex'.[/b] i dont know how to get over her. i wish i could completely forget everything.

 

And she told you this?

 

Ok you need to get rid of this girl from your life. Period. She is mean and is trying to hurt you.

 

You get over her by recognizing her actions as being horrible and immature. You get over her by removing her from your social media. You get over her by getting rid of all her contact details.

You cut her from your life.

[Mark33]

OP, you will very often notice that other people posting here are often envious at good looking people, repeating stuff like "looks don't matter, only what's inside her soul it matters" because it sounds good, they sound virtuous,

but we all know of course that is not the reality.

 

Every scientific study shows that looks do matter

[Honeycomb8]

Looks matter but having a good heart and maturity matters a lot more. ^ Relationships are not built on superficial qualities.

 

 

Maybe when you eventually emotionally mature, you'll understand.

[Chris12189]

OP, you will very often notice that other people posting here are often envious at good looking people, repeating stuff like "looks don't matter, only what's inside her soul it matters" because it sounds good, they sound virtuous,

but we all know of course that is not the reality.

 

Every scientific study shows that looks do matter

 

Looks play a major role in the initial attraction but its their soul/personality that makes someone stick around for a relationship.